Chapter 4 I want you

I bite my lip, not knowing what to say.

“Friend, your engagement is next week. There’s nothing we can do now.” Once again, I try to be rational. “Unless you talk to your father…”

“And say what? That I won’t marry the man I begged to be my fiancé two years ago because I’m in love with a woman? That he needs to go back on his word and break an alliance so I can stay with the cook’s daughter?” She gives me a bitter smile. “He’ll kill Polina. But if I go through with this and marry Ramzi, he’ll kill me.”

My brow furrows.

“And why would he do that?”

“Because of the sheets. I’m not a virgin anymore, Sereia.”

“But you and Polina are women,” I say, confused.

“We used our fingers.”

My mouth falls open as understanding crashes into me.

Since we were children, Elena’s mother made a point of saying that women had to prove their virginity at marriage. Daria always repeated that, according to Bratva tradition, the wedding night had to take place on white sheets, and the blood stains of the bride’s virginity were to be displayed the next day so both would be respected.

The woman for her purity, and the man for being the first and only one of his wife.

Sexist would be an understatement.

But that’s how the mob works.

Men can have everything, while women are expected only to preserve themselves for men.

And that is just one more reason why I want to escape this world as soon as possible.

I take Elena’s hands and realize she’s trembling. My heart tightens at the sight of her like this, because even though I’ve lived in a cage because of her, in the end, she is imprisoned too.

Her prison is different—she must submit to the laws of the underworld—but neither of us ever had a choice.

“There’s still a week before the engagement,” I encourage her, even though I can’t imagine a way out.

My friend’s father may love her more than anything, but he is still the commander of the Russian mob. He cannot go back on his word. An alliance has been made, and Elena must marry the Chicago mobster.

And knowing that Ramzi Draneth is a future Don, I doubt he would be merciful if he realized his wife was no longer a virgin. He will want to see the blood on the sheets too.

“There’s only a week left,” she murmurs, and I realize that this time our perception of time has reversed.

Elena lies back on my bed and picks up a wilted rose from the nightstand. I lie beside her and look at the flower too.

Almost dead.

“If I marry him, I’ll die… and if I’m sent back alive to my father, the Pakhan will find a way to discover the truth about Polina and kill her,” she whispers. “The only way I won’t have to marry is if Ramzi calls off the wedding. I just need to find a way to convince him to do that.”

“We’ll find a way,” I whisper, staring at the nearly lifeless flower in her hands and thinking that perhaps death is not so far away after all.

Because if the Pakhan discovers the truth and learns that I helped cover up his daughter’s relationship with another woman, I will be considered a traitor.

And I will die like my father.

When I realize I’m not going to sleep, I put on a robe and leave my room. I decide to go to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate or something that might warm my body enough to lull me into sleep.

But ever since Elena left for her room, I haven’t been able to stop thinking.

There’s a strong chance that everything will end in tragedy. And the idea of dying without ever experiencing freedom makes my stomach churn.

I need to find a solution.

The corridors are dark, and the mansion is silent. The Pakhan keeps his soldiers outside the house, which is why I have the freedom to walk to the kitchen without wearing something more appropriate.

I’m just going to make a warm drink and go back to bed.

I’m about to reach the kitchen when something hard wraps around my waist. I collide with a wall of muscle and quickly realize an arm is holding me in place.

A shiver runs down my spine, and I want to scream—but a hand clamps over my mouth.

“There’s no need to scream. I’m not going to hurt you. Yet.”

The threatening voice sends ice down my spine, and my heart pounds when I recognize it.

Vadim.

One of the Pakhan’s most loyal soldiers. One of the most infamous and cruel enforcers in Russia, according to Vladimir’s men.

They once told me that Vadim risked his life to save the boss and earned a massive scar across his face because of it. A scar he proudly displays, because in a twisted way, it makes him more valuable in Elena’s father’s eyes.

And even more terrifying.

Vadim has a reputation for being violent with women… and children. He has never hidden his interest in me.

Not even when I was only ten years old.

“Let me go!” I growl, trying to bite his palm, but he tightens his grip—hard enough to hurt.

“You’re so feisty. I can’t wait to give you a proper beating to show you your place. Only when you’re bleeding will I take what I want from you.”

We’re alone in a dark hallway in the middle of the night. If he wants to hurt me, no one will stop him. Vadim is bigger, stronger, and one of the Pakhan’s most trusted men.

I’m only a traitor’s daughter.

“Tonight I’m only here to give you a message,” he whispers in my ear, his breath making me nauseous. He smells like blood and cheap perfume. “As soon as the Pakhan’s daughter gets married, I’ll ask him to give you to me.”

“Get in line,” I mock, gathering every ounce of strength not to lower my head before him. “It’ll just be another request he refuses.”

Vadim lets out a low laugh, and the sound freezes my stomach.

“I’ve been loyal to Vladimir Tenent for years and never asked him for anything. But I carry the mark that proves I gave my life in place of his. I want you, Sereia—and I guarantee he won’t deny me.”

“Never,” I whisper.

I try to bite his hand again to break free, but he loses patience. He spins me around and slams my head against the wall to pin me in place.

“You think you’re superior to me, don’t you? I see the way you look at me. I feel your disgust. That’s why I’ll enjoy breaking you so much. I’ll be the one to break your virgin seal, and I’ll love watching you cry. I’ll humiliate you in so many ways that traitors would feel blessed compared to the fate I have planned for you.”