Chapter 4 He Loved Me

The morning light came too soon.

Neoma had not slept. She had lain in her bed, staring at the canopy above her, watching the shadows shift as the candles burned low and the sky outside her window turned from black to grey to pale gold. Her eyes were dry now, her tears spent. She felt hollowed out, scraped clean, a vessel with nothing left inside.

A soft knock came at her door.

"My lady? Your family is waiting in the Solar."

It was Mira's voice. Gentle. Careful.

Neoma did not move. "Tell them I will be there shortly."

"Yes, my lady."

The footsteps retreated.

Neoma rose from the bed slowly, as if her limbs belonged to someone else. She walked to the vanity and looked at her reflection. The woman staring back at her was pale, hollow-eyed, a ghost wearing her face. The birthday crown was gone. The beautiful dress had been discarded on the floor where she had left it.

She did not recognize herself.

She dressed in simple clothes, a grey gown, unadorned, nothing like the shimmering silks of the night before. She did not bother with jewels. She did not bother with her hair. She pulled it back in a simple knot and walked out of her chambers, her footsteps echoing in the empty corridor.

---

The Solar was warm. Sunlight streamed through the tall windows, casting gold across the stone floor. Her family was already there, gathered around the low table where they had shared so many meals, so many conversations. They rose when she entered.

Her father, Alistair, looked older than she remembered. The lines on his face were deeper, the grey in his hair more pronounced. He had not slept either.

Her mother, Vivienne, stood beside him, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her composure strained.

Her brother, Titus, stood near the window, his arms crossed over his chest. His jaw was tight. His posture was rigid.

And Adeline... Adeline sat in the corner, her face pale, her hands trembling in her lap.

Neoma walked to the center of the room and stopped. She did not sit.

"You called for me," she said. Her voice was flat. Empty.

Her father stepped forward. "Neoma, my daughter…"

"Do not," she said quietly. "Do not pretend this is anything other than what it is."

Alistair's face crumpled. He reached toward her, then stopped. His hand dropped to his side.

"We have no choice," he said. "You know this."

"I know." Neoma's voice was hollow. "I have always known."

Vivienne stepped forward, her hands reaching for Neoma's. "We tried everything. We tried so hard to find another way…"

Neoma pulled her hands away. "But there was no other way. There was never any other way."

Her mother's face fell. Tears welled in her eyes.

"We love you," Vivienne whispered. "We never wanted to…"

"I know." Neoma's voice broke slightly. She looked away. "I know you love me… that's what makes it hard to even hate you and I know you did not want this. But that does not change what is happening."

She turned to face her father.

"You sold me," she said. "You sold me to save us. I understand that. I accept that. But I will not pretend it is anything else."

Alistair's jaw tightened. His hands clenched at his sides.

"Neoma, you have to understand…"

"You are right," Neoma said. "I do understand. I understand that our kingdom is dying. I understand that the coffers are empty. I understand that if we do not do this, we lose everything. Our home. Our people. Everyone we love." She paused. Her eyes burned. "I understand all of it. And I agreed to it. I agreed because I love this family more than I love myself."

She stepped closer to her father. Her voice dropped.

"But I need you to understand something too."

Alistair met her eyes. "What?"

"I already humiliated him last night," Neoma said slowly. "The stable hand. He was the only man I have ever loved." Her voice trembled. "He is innocent. And I destroyed him because I could not let him follow me to Drakoria. Promise me nothing will happen to him.”

Titus stepped forward, his voice hard. "Can you stop saying you're in love with a stable hand?"

Neoma turned to face her brother. "Why?"

Titus's expression darkened. "He was not worthy of you. Even without this marriage, a stable man would never have been right for my sister.”

Neoma stared at him. Something cold flickered in her eyes. "You know nothing about him."

"He was below you," Titus said sharply. "He had nothing to offer. He could never have protected you.”

"He loved me," Neoma said. Her voice was quiet, but it carried. "And that was more than anyone else in this room has offered me right now."

Titus flinched. The words hit him harder than she had intended. His jaw tightened. He looked away first.

Vivienne stepped between them. "Please. Please do not fight. Not now."

Neoma's shoulders sagged. The fire in her eyes dimmed.

"I am not fighting," she said tiredly. "I am telling you the truth. Orion does not deserve to be dragged into our mess. He has already lost enough because of me. Let him live. Let him find someone else. Someone who does not have to destroy him to save him."

Alistair's hands shook. "He will not follow you to Drakoria?"

"No." Neoma's voice cracked. "Not after last night. I made sure of it."

Adeline spoke from the corner. Her voice was small, trembling. "You broke him, Neoma. I saw his face. He will never love anyone again."

Neoma closed her eyes. "Maybe that is the price of his survival."

Alistair walked to the window, his back to them. His shoulders were shaking. "I was supposed to protect you. I was supposed to be the one who kept you safe. And now I am sending you to a stranger."

Neoma watched him. Her father. The man who had held her when she was small, who had taught her to ride a horse, who had told her she could be anything. She watched the weight of his failure crush him from the inside.

"Father," she said softly. "I chose this. You gave me the choice. I chose to save them."

He turned. His eyes were wet. "I should have found another way."

"There is no other way." Neoma's voice was gentle now. "You know this. We all know this."

Titus slammed his fist against the wall. The sound echoed through the solar. His face was twisted with barely controlled anger.

"I should have prepared for war," he growled. "I should have raised an army. I should have fought."

Neoma looked at her brother. "And how many would have died, Titus? How many lives would we have lost?"

"I don't care…"

"I do." Neoma's voice was sharp. "I care. I care about our people. I care about the soldiers you would have sent to their deaths. I care about the families who would have lost everything. You want to fight? Fine. But you would lose. You know you would lose."

Titus's face was pale. His hands trembled at his sides.

"So instead," Neoma continued, her voice cold, "instead of losing a lot of lives, we decided to sacrifice me. My life, my happiness, my future. That was our choice. And I accepted it."

Titus stared at her. "Neoma..."

"I am not angry," she said. "I am not accusing you. I am telling you the truth. This is what survival looks like. This is what it costs."

She stepped toward her brother and placed a hand on his arm.

"Promise me something."

He looked at her. "What?"

"Promise me you will protect them," she said softly. "Protect our mother and father. Protect Adeline. Protect our people. Do not let my sacrifice be for nothing."

Titus's face twisted. He looked away. "I promise."

Neoma released him and stepped back. She looked at her family, her father, broken by guilt. Her mother, drowning in tears. Her brother, full of rage he could not release. Her sister, pale and trembling.

She smiled. It was a hollow thing. A ghost of the smile she used to wear.

"I will go to Drakoria," she said. "I will marry the Alpha King. And I will survive."

She turned toward the door.

"Neoma." Her father's voice stopped her.

She did not turn.

"I am sorry," he whispered. "I am so sorry."

Neoma closed her eyes. For a moment, she felt the weight of everything pressing down on her. The loss. The grief. The life she would never have.

"Goodbye, Father," she said.

And she walked out of the Solar, leaving her family behind.