Chapter 1 1

CHAPTER ONE

NANCY

Someone was outside our cabin.

I knew because wolves don't breathe like the wind.

The twins slept beside me, tangled beneath old furs, while I stared at the door and counted each heartbeat.

One.

Two.

Three.

Whoever it was never knocked.

They simply stood there… listening.

Moments later, the footsteps moved away.

I let out the breath I'd been holding.

Few minutes later,

My mother slipped inside, trying to be quiet after disappearing for two days.

Whoever had been outside was gone. 

Or so I thought.

She didn't notice me watching her.

Ever since my father died, my mother has been completely miserable. He was her true mate. When a wolf loses their true mate, their soul breaks. She hasn't been the same since. Most days, she just wanders the woods, drowning in her grief.

Like so many other mornings, she stumbled back into our room just before dawn. She tried her best to walk softly so she wouldn’t wake me or the twins. She had been gone for two whole days this time, leaving us alone in the dark. I guess she thinks sneaking back in quietly makes her a good mother.

But wolves have sharp ears. The quieter she tried to be, the more noise she made. She might as well have been a wild bear crashing through the trees.

I rolled onto my side. On the pile of furs next to me, the twins were starting to wake up. Lucy and Lily are five years old now. Healthy pack pups their age should be at the pack's training grounds, learning how to run and track. But instead, they are stuck here.

Next year, though, there will be no excuses. The twins will be old enough for the pack’s pup-school. Our mother will have to do her duty. She will have to register them with the pack elders and make sure they get to the training grounds every day.

But I hate to think about it. Something tells me Lucy and Lily will spend a lot of time waiting by the door.

Mother was already distant when I was a pup. Now, twelve years later, her mind is almost completely gone.

“Shh, it’s okay. Go back to sleep,” I whispered gently. I pulled the warm furs up over both Lucy and Lily’s small shoulders. They snuggled closer together, whimpering softly in their sleep.

A moment later, the door to our room swung open.

I knew better than to say anything or put a finger to my lips. I did that once when Lily had a fever and was crying all night. I had just gotten her to sleep when Mother came back after spending days with a random male warrior, trying to numb the pain of her broken mate-bond. I had pointed to my lips, signaling for her to be quiet.

Mother had backhanded me so hard my lip was split and swollen for three days. A wolf drowning in grief is highly unstable and dangerous. I learned my lesson. I would never make that mistake again.

She walked straight past us toward the washbasin in the corner.

I let out a long, slow breath. How much longer can we live like this?

It was different when we still lived in our old pack cabin. We didn't have much, but at least we had separate sleeping corners. Mother had her own space to grieve, and she didn't have to barge in on us every time she returned.

“Nancy?” Lucy mumbled, rubbing her small fists over her sleepy eyes. Beside her, Lily shifted and let out a tiny yawn.

“It’s okay, sweet girl,” I whispered, smoothing her messy hair. “Go back to sleep. It is still very early.”

“Is Mother back?” Lily asked, her voice tiny and hopeful.

“Yes, she is back. She always comes back.”

I said the words, but inside, my heart ached. There were times I truly wondered if she would ever return. I worried that one of the dangerous rogue wolves she ran with would hurt her. Or worse, that she would simply run away to another territory and pretend we never existed.

“Let’s go to the outer room,” I said softly. “I will make a small fire to keep you warm.”

I carefully held my little sisters. 

I carried them to the worn rug near the cold stone hearth. I wrapped them together in a warm blanket. Within minutes, their breathing slowed, and they fell back asleep.

Once they were settled, I went back to our sleeping corner to change. I took off my thin sleeping shift and pulled on a simple tunic and light trousers.

The elders said it was going to be a warm day. Staying locked inside made me feel completely cut off from my inner wolf. I needed to get outside. I needed to breathe in the fresh scent of earth, away from the musty, stale air of this cramped room.

Later, I decided I would take Lucy and Lily down to the pack’s creek. I wanted them to splash in the cool water and chase the little frogs. It was important to me that they had a little fun, even in a life like ours.

They are lucky. At five years old, they still think this is a grand adventure. They do not understand how broken our lives really are. They do not see how terrible it is that we are living in this temporary shelter because we were kicked out of our family cabin—all because our mother was too grief-stricken to hunt or contribute to the pack.

Mother finally stepped out of the washroom, staggering a little as she stripped off her stained silk dress. While she mumbled to herself, I slipped inside to wash my face and brush out my long hair. 

That hair was the one thing all three of us sisters shared—one of the few traits I was actually glad Mother passed down to us.

Looking in the cracked mirror, my blue eyes had dark circles under them. It was the price of spending another night lying awake, worrying about our future.

In a couple of weeks, the autumn pack gatherings would begin, and I was supposed to start training with a new tier of young wolves. Since we were no longer in our old territory, I wouldn't know a single soul. But honestly, if we didn't even have a permanent cabin to live in, how could I believe the Alpha’s council would even let me join the training ranks?

When I asked Mother about it yesterday, she just waved her hand carelessly.

“We will be moving soon. You will see,” she had muttered, her voice slurred. “I have something in the works.”

In other words, she was trying to charm some new, unsuspecting male wolf into taking us in and paying our pack dues.

It wasn't that I thought she sat down and planned to trick these wolves, but that was always how it ended. She would stay with them, using their shelter and their meat, until they realized she was too broken by her dead mate to ever love them back. Then they would kick us out, or she would get bored and wander away.

One or the other. Every single time.