Chapter 4 CHAPTER FOUR

XAVIER

I knew as soon as I did it that I messed up but I really couldn’t stand there and play like the fans expect me to play when she has her back turned to us and is acting like we don’t exist. I noticed her instantly. She was the only one with her back turned and I would recognize her hair anywhere in the world.

I’ve spent an ungodly amount of time staring at it and wondering why she would choose to straighten her hair just because her asshole of a boyfriend wants it straight. I could never find the answer so I hated from afar.

We’re currently backstage after playing really great music to a very hype crowd and it’s crickets. We usually take this time to discuss the show and the fans before our manager comes to give constructive criticism. Today, they’re watching me in silence.

The door opens and Zay, my best friend and our manger comes in with a furious look on his face.

“Great show guys. No comments today. Everyone can go home and chill. I’ll communicate anything that comes up in the group chat.” He says.

Nobody moves a muscle and he looks around at everyone. “Hello, y’all are usually itching to get out of here.”

“No way, Zay. We want to be witnesses to the murder of Xavier Hunt.” Nel, our keyboardist says.

“Yeah. We’ve not said anything because we know you’ll rip him a new one. All that waiting can’t have been for nothing.” Bash, our drummer says.

“Thanks guys. Rally, I appreciate this.” I say, flipping them all off.”

“And what about you?” Zay asks Rage, our backup vocal and bass guitarist says.

“I’m just here because Bash is my ride home. You know I don’t give a fuck.” He says.

He’s right, he doesn’t. He’s the Emo kid in the group and would rather spend his time staring at a wall than be involved in drama. Zay sighs, turns to me, and throws a plushie he grabs from the desk at me.

“What the fuck were you thinking? Do you know how many fans we lost tonight? Do you what this band represents to so many lonely girls and they just watched you embarrass a girl on fucking LIVE STREAM!”

He takes a calming breath after yelling the last part before he continues calmly. “They watched you on live stream be an asshole to that girl. She was fucking crying as she left. We’re about to be cancelled and we’re just starting.”

“I’m sure when I explain, it’ll make sense to-”

“Shut the fuck up. I’m not done. How many times have I warned you not to do anything without running it by me?”

“Too many times.” Nel says and I glare at him.

“I know you don’t give a shit about this band or anything in life but don’t fuck this up for the rest of us who do.”

My entire mood changes when he says that. He knows it’s not true and he’s saying that to hit a nerve.

“That’s too fucking low, Zay. You know I love this band.”

“Then fucking act like it. When you have issues with someone in the crowd, you fucking swallow it so we don’t lose the little fans we do have. Tonight was our biggest stream and live attendance thanks to that video of you being wet and you fucking do this.”

Yup. I messed up big time.

“Yo! I just got a text from a music exec I’ve been talking to, he is not fucking with that shit you pulled, X. What the fuck?” Rage says.

Now he gives a fuck. My bullshit just seeped into his one true love.

“Guys I’m sorry. How do I fix this?” I say, genuinely meaning it.

“Who was the girl?” Zay asks.

“Ryan’s girlfriend.” I mumble.

“Woah. You embarrassed Ryan’s girlfriend at our show? Doesn’t he already hate you?” Bash says with an excited smile.

“Alright guys, please go home. Xavier and I have to talk.”

I lean back on my chair and watch as the guys pick up their things and leave.

“What the fuck man, why would you do that?”

“First, take back that shit you said about me not caring for anything. You know it’s not true.”

“Isn’t it? Sure, you like the band and you enjoy rocking with us but you and I both know that as soon as you get your degree, you are out the door. You’re not as invested in it as the rest of us. Those guys really want to be musicians and I really want to manage them.”

I scratch my hair and huff in annoyance. “I give a shit, Zay. It might not be in my future plans but I give a shit.”

“I’m sorry. I was just so angry, I shouldn’t have said that to you.”

I nod and he sighs and sits down.

“Why were you picking on Ryan’s girlfriend?” he asks.

“I wasn’t picking on her, she was in our show with her back turned. It was messing with my head. Everyone else was looking at us and cheering and she was just like this big wet blanket of bad energy.”

“She had her back turned and you knew it was her? You like her or something?”

“Fuck no, she’s not my type. At all.”

“How long has this dislike of her been going on?”

“Since he started dating her. It’s mutual so there’s that.”

“Of course it’s mutual. I know how you can get when you actively don’t like someone. Be that as it may, we have to make an apology video where you make this shit make sense to everyone so they forgive you and become our fans again.”

“Also so Rage’s music Exec can start fucking with me again.”

“Especially that.” He says laughing. “Alright, get into character. We’re about to record an apology video that has to go up before the campus influencers start stitching the video with their hot takes.”

I stand, stretch and jump in place. “I’m ready, let’s do this shit.”

Shooting the video is easy. I know how to act humble and sorry but it takes us an hour because I keep laughing mid shoot and Zay makes one or two inappropriate jokes. He sends it out and we call it a day. I get into my car and turn my phone on.

I usually turn it off before we play and turn it back on after were done for the day. There’s a lot of notifications – texts, tags and call. I open my brother’s text and read his annoyance and disbelief at my actions. I return his call and the first thing he does is to scream into the phone.

“Why do you make things more difficult for me? Do you know how hard Ryan is working to get you kicked out of the team? Why would you provoke him further by embarrassing his girlfriend at your show?”

“Can I say something now or do you still want to yell?”

“Go ahead. Tell me what the fuck was going through your mind when you did that shit.”