Chapter 1 THE FIRST NIGHT

CHAPTER ONE

RAVENNA

"Are you planning for us to sleep out here?"

Darius shot me an amused look, then glanced around slowly at the trees, the dirt, the absolute nothing surrounding us on every side.

He turned back to face me. "Do you perhaps see a shelter we could sleep in?"

I stared at him.

He sighed and stood up, reaching for a bag I hadn't even noticed he was carrying.

He unzipped it and started pulling out camp items, one after another, laying them out with quiet efficiency.

He looked over his shoulder. "Are you going to help me?"

I looked away, folded my arms and stared into the dark line of the forest.

I couldn't help him. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even process what had happened yet.

My mind kept dragging me back to the border stones, to the crowd, to the sound of Martina's sobbing and my father's face, and the way Darius had stepped over that line like it cost him nothing when it had cost him everything.

How had my life gone from being a normal girl living her own life, to enrolling in an academy full of wolves and politics and power, to standing in a forest with no pack, no name, and nowhere to go?

I had come to Midnight Academy for revenge. Stupid, simple revenge. And now I am here. Exiled into the wilderness with Darius — Darius, who I'd come to the academy to destroy, Darius who turned out to be my mate, Darius who had foolishly walked away from his inheritance to follow a supposed dangerous girl into exile.

I turned to look at him and found he was already done.

The camp was up, small and low but solid. He was gathering our bags and he zipped the entrance open, then waved me over.

I stood up numbly and staggered inside.

He zipped it shut behind me and stayed out. Through the thin material I could see the rigid line of his back as he sat by the fire.

I lay down and stared at the ceiling of the camp and I couldn't sleep.

How could I sleep?

Where had I gone wrong?

What had I done to deserve this? I never asked for any of it.

I didn't want this power. I didn't want any of this.

The fire outside died. The zip opened, and Darius came in and zipped it back up.

He lay down beside me and pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Why are you still awake, Raven?"

I looked at him.

Even now, even out here with nothing, his features were striking. His face was gaunt, his eyes sunken, his lips dry and cracked. But he was still so handsome it made something ache in my chest.

"Stop eyefucking me," he said, the corner of his mouth pulling up.

I rolled my eyes. He shifted closer and wrapped himself around me, his heat and his scent swallowing me whole.

I breathed him in and curled myself into him without meaning to, my body making a decision my mind hadn't cleared yet.

He whispered against my hair. "You should sleep. You haven't slept properly in weeks."

I lifted my head and looked at him. "I could say the same for you."

He chuckled, low and soft, and the sound of it wrapped around me like something warm.

His hand moved to my back and he began patting me in a slow, steady rhythm, rocking slightly, and then he started singing.

So quietly I almost thought I imagined it.

I fought it. I didn't want to sleep. Sleeping felt like giving in, like accepting that this was real, that we were actually here, that there was no going back.

But his voice wouldn't let me stay. It pulled me under gently, and my body went slack, and the last thing I felt was a sudden, exhausted peace.

When I rolled onto my back and spread my arm to the other side, it was empty.

I opened my eyes fast.

Darius wasn't in the camp.

The morning sun was pushing thin rays through the material, lighting up the small space.

Panic cracked open in my chest and I scrambled up and rushed outside.

No sign of him.

I covered my mouth.

The thoughts came hard and fast. Maybe rogues had taken him in the night.

Maybe he had already gone back. Maybe he'd woken up and looked at where he was and who he was with and decided it wasn't worth it after all.

I blamed myself for sleeping like a rock. I should have stayed awake. I should have been watching.

Then I laughed, a short, strange sound, the kind that comes out when nothing is funny but everything is too much.

I sat down on the ground and picked up a pebble and threw it, just to do something with my hands.

"Ow! Raven, what the hell?"

A voice floated up from somewhere down the slope.

I scrambled to my feet and dusted my hands off.

Darius came into view, eyes wide, a stack of heavy wood balanced in his arms.

"Was that you back there?"

I didn't answer him. I just looked at him. Let my eyes move over his face, his shoulders, the fact that he was there and whole and real.

He was here. Really here.

"I thought you left me."

Darius looked at me for a moment. Then he dropped the wood, all of it, onto the ground and walked toward me.

He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back and held on longer than I meant to.

He broke it and took my face in both hands. "I'm never going to leave you. We're both here, and we're in this together."

He kissed my forehead. "Okay?"

I stepped back. My arms went out, gesturing at all of it, the trees, the camp, the dirt under our feet. "This doesn't make sense, Darius. Why are you so calm? Why are you acting like this is fine? Like this is the life you're supposed to be living?"

My voice cracked on the last word. "I don't even know what is wrong with you."

He scoffed. "Seriously? You want to go down this path right now? Are you trying to tell me I made a bad decision following you into exile for something you didn't even cause?"

"Yes!" The word came out louder than I meant it to. "You're supposed to be in your fancy clothes, attending classes, being the heir your father needs, the son your mother wants. Not here. Not with me." My throat tightened. "I'm not even worth it."

He grabbed my shoulders and shook me, not hard, but enough to make me look at him. "Don't you ever say that. Don't you ever."

His jaw was tight, his eyes burning. "You're worth my pack a million times over. If I was given a second chance and put back on that line, I would follow you in here again. Without thinking twice."

He raked a hand through his hair and looked away for a second, then back at me, and his voice dropped. "You don't understand, Raven. You're my mate. I can't live without you." It broke slightly on the last word.

"I'm nothing without you. You think I made that decision to prove my father wrong, or the Council? I made it because it's you. I'm at peace out here because I'm with you. This is where I want to be." He looked at me steadily. "This is my home. You're my home. The sooner you start accepting that, the better."

I staggered back slightly. Blinked hard against the burn behind my eyes.

I pressed my hands flat against his chest. "I can't do this right now. I need a moment."

He didn't push. He just nodded and turned back to the wood.

I sat by the camp and watched him work. He dismantled what he'd built and started again, adding to it, making it more solid.

Then he disappeared into the trees with a gun I hadn't noticed before. He'd thought about this. He'd actually prepared for this.

This wasn't a decision he had made in the heat of the moment at the border stones. He had planned it.

He came back with a deer and began skinning it, his hands moving with quiet focus, and I sat there watching him and thinking about Martina.

She was so warm, so genuinely kind, the kind of woman who made you feel chosen just by the way she looked at you.

She welcomed me like a daughter.

And what had I given her back? Her only son, gone... Walking into the wilderness because of me.

I thought about my father. I had barely had time with him and then I was torn away.

Was he grieving?

Was he sitting in his office staring at nothing?

Was Theodore furious?

Was Torren blaming himself?

I pressed my fingers to my eyes.

"Are you okay?"

I looked up. Darius was watching me from where he crouched by the fire, his hands and forearms coated in blood, his eyes steady on my face.

I didn't answer.

I folded my legs up, rested my chin on my knee, and stayed like that for a long time. Long enough that the light shifted and the smell of something cooking drifted over.

He appeared beside me and nudged my arm. "Taste this. I couldn't make much but the meat came out well."

He pushed a piece toward my mouth. I opened it and let him feed it to me. I chewed slowly. It was actually good.

"It's really tasty."

His mouth curved. "Not as tasty as I could be, down there."

I frowned at him. "Stop making jokes."

He exhaled and set the food down between us, his expression going serious. "Look, Raven. I'm going to be honest with you. The council are old fools and wicked men. They had no right to blame everything on you. None of this was your doing and they had no right to exile you over those kidnappings."

He paused. "But I've been watching you sit here all morning, deep in your head, crying yourself hollow over people who have already moved on with their lives."

I whipped my head toward him. "How can you say that?"

He laughed, short and flat. "Stop deluding yourself. Crying won't make them retract the exile, Raven. We're exiled. We're rogues now. That's what we are."

He looked at me without flinching. "Accept it. Wake up. Start living your life. It's just the two of us."

I stared at him.

Then I stood up, looked him dead in the face, and raised both middle fingers.

"Fuck you, Darius."

He threw his head back, eyes glinting, and the smirk that spread across his face was slow and absolutely wicked. "Fuck me on top or beneath?"

My mouth fell open. "I cannot believe you. Stop flirting with me." I turned and started walking. "I'm not hungry anymore. Enjoy your meal."

"Don't wander too far, Raven."

His laughter chased me into the trees.