Chapter 4 Don't do Bad Affirmations

I stare at the black suit jacket laid out on my bed. I've come to the realization that if I were to try and return this to the guy who gave it to me, I'd have no idea how to do that because I don't know who he is. I don't know what he looks like or what his name is. I get that that's the whole point of a masquerade, but now this is just tedious.

I put it on a hanger and slide it into the small closet on my side of the room, next to my mother's stained wedding gown. I seriously need to figure out how to get that out before Grandma finds out.

And as if she can feel me thinking about her, my phone vibrates. I gather up what's left of my courage for the night—or day; this is going to take some getting used to—and look down at my list of messages.

Rachel Hollow: I'm going to gut you, little girl. Call me, NOW.

I chew on my bottom lip that's now free of my signature red lipstick. A part of me just wants to put it back on despite it being 'bedtime,' but I'm still not used to sleeping during the day and staying up at night. Whose bright idea was it to have Ashmourne Academy be a night school? They need to be fired ASAP.

As soon as the ball was over, the first-year students were herded off to our dorm rooms, the ones we moved into the day before. I still have yet to meet my roommate, so I guess she's still in the communal bathrooms getting ready for bed. I can only hope we can get along, because having to live with a bitch of a roommate would make things harder. I'd rather not be uncomfortable and tense in the space I'm living in for the next year.

But back to the main point. My grandmother is going to be on the news for murdering me. I knew this was going to happen the moment I set my mind to this, and while I'm fully prepared for it, it doesn't make it any easier.

So, I put it off and focus on the next message. One that is easier to deal with.

Beckett Tanner: Ray is out for blood, Rave.

Well, that much is obvious. Before I can think of a reply, my grandmother's contact appears across the screen. She must know that I saw her messages, damn it.

Taking a deep breath, I click the green icon and bring the phone to my ear.

“Heya, Grams,” I sing cheerily into the mic.

There's a moment of silence, and I cringe. I just know she's seething on the other side.

“You better get your ass home, right now, Raven Rose Hollow!” She snaps. I can hear the rage simmering in her voice, but beneath that is a tone of worry. Is she worried I'll go missing like Roman did? I have thought of the possibility. Of never finding my twin brother, and of never going home to Grandma. But then I told myself only people who think they're going to fail think like that, so I stopped.

I'd rather not jinx myself, thank you very much. Besides, isn't that like, willing it into existence? We don't do bad affirmations here. Or as Beckett would say, 'No bad juju.'

“Grandma...” I sigh, trailing off because I'm honestly not sure what to say. There's no way I'm leaving without Roman.

“Don't you Grandma me!” Her tone lowers to a growl between clenched teeth. I can see her face in my head now, with her lips pursed tight and that deep wrinkle between her brows when she's about to flip her shit. “We talked about this, Rave. I don't want you at that school!”

“Roman came!” I nearly shout in my defense. I take a deep breath, knowing I'll only get into more trouble by using that tone with her. “You allowed Roman to come,” I say more evenly. I reach up to pick at the dry skin on my plump lips. I should buy a red-tinted chapstick.

“That's a different matter, Raven.” She sighs, and I can picture her pinching the bridge of her nose like she often does when she gets frustrated with Roman and me. Sometimes Beckett too.

“How is it different?” I scoff, sitting up in my bed. My dark hair falls over my shoulders, and I brush it back. “You don't think I can handle myself?”

“That’s not what I meant, Ra-”

“Then what?!” My voice cracks as tears prick at my eyes. I push to a stand and start to pace in the small space of the dorm room. “Please, tell me. I'm all ears.”

She's quiet on the other end and then sighs.

“I can't let this go, Grandma.” I whisper. I sniff and rub my nose with the sleeve of my shirt. “I have to find out what happened to him.”

There's a long pause of silence, and I have to check the screen of my phone to make sure she's still on the line with me.

“I’m coming tomorrow.” She finally says, and it feels like my heart seizes in my chest. “You better be ready to go when I get there.”

“No.” I say, putting as much conviction as I can in the one-syllable word.

“No?” Grandma scoffs.

“No.” I repeat. I even have to stop myself from stomping my foot like some petulant child. “I’m not leaving until I find out what happened to Roman.” Then I end the call.

I take a shuddering breath and glare at the ceiling. The last time I told Grams no was last year when I wanted to go out with this boy. With how stubborn I was back then, it just seems silly now. But this is Roman we're talking about. My flesh and blood.

Suddenly the door to the room opens. I spin around, my long black hair swishing with me, and watch as a girl with bright pink hair walks inside. She holds a toiletry bag and what looks like her ball gown hung over one arm. She wears booty shorts and a tight tank top that looks like it's struggling to hold her large D-cup-sized boobs.

“You're a bit of an attention seeker, huh?” She says as a way of greeting.