Chapter 5 Part 5
Aspen
Her twin sisters, Storm and Rain, aged ten, were currently dancing in her room, pop music blaring in the background. Storm was using her hairbrush as a microphone, belting out the lyrics, making Aspen laugh. Rain had a scarf wrapped around her neck, pretending to walk down a runway like a model. Their laughter bounced off the walls, bright and careless, filling the small space with the kind of joy Aspen rarely allowed herself to feel out loud.
She loved her sisters with everything in her, but some days, she wished she had more freedom to explore her own hobbies, meet up with her own friends, or have some time alone. It was nearly time to get the twins ready for dinner, but she let them live out their fantasy a little longer. Watching them felt like holding on to something soft before the night hardened around her again.
“Okay, you were both fantastic! Now it’s time to get cleaned up for dinner,” she said, in a stern voice.
“Aww, just five more minutes, Aspen,” Rain begged.
“Sorry, my little water droplet, but Dad will be home soon.”
“Fine,” Storm said, and pressed a button on the remote.
The room was suddenly quiet, and Aspen watched as they marched down the hall to their own room. She picked up the scarves Rain had unceremoniously dropped on the floor and placed her hairbrush back on her vanity. Her father didn’t tolerate messy children. Not in rooms, and not in behavior.
Dinner was a quiet affair, like most nights. They ate in silence, neither parent asking how their days went, or if they were even well. Aspen thought to herself that was why she spent the time with the twins instead of pursuing her own interests. Someone had to be soft in this house, and it was never going to be their parents. At least, after she left for college, they would have each other.
“Oh, Aspen, I wanted to ask you. Are you still dating the St. John boy?” Her mother smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“Yes,” she said, her own smile tugging at her lips. She didn’t like or dislike her mother; it was a sort of neutral feeling. It was the same feeling she had about her father, although she feared him a little.
“And you’re keeping your legs closed?”
Aspen nearly choked on her own saliva, but she nodded her head. “Of course.”
“If you give it away for free, there will be no diamond ring at the end of the race,” she said. “Men like that don’t marry easy women who throw themselves at boys.”
“I’m not,” she said, indignation filling her.
“You spend a lot of time at his house. I just don’t want you to end up with a ruined reputation.” Her mother gave her a look that said she didn’t really believe her.
“Mom, we’ve been dating for almost two years. My reputation is still intact.”
“I know life might seem unfair to you, Aspen, but in reality, I just want what’s best for you. I didn’t love your father when we got engaged and married, but we grew to love one another. In a marriage arranged for you with a suitable match, you know you’ll have stability and security. Your children will lead a life of greatness if you cultivate it in them. There are rumors that things aren’t what they seem in the St. John household. Sharon swears she saw Weston in the city with another woman draped all over him. If his parents get divorced, it would sully their reputation, just like Thomas Cathwell’s reputation suffered. I hear he’s already getting married again.”
“The men in our circles all have mistresses,” Aspen said.
Her head snapped to the side as her mother’s palm connected with her cheek. The sound cracked through the room, sharp and final, cutting straight through Aspen’s breath.
“Watch your tone, Aspen. I am still your mother. You haven’t snagged North St. John yet, and until such time, I can very easily convince your father to make other arrangements for your future.”
Aspen’s hand covered her cheek as she stared at the mother who was supposed to love her more than anything else in the world. The sting on her skin faded faster than the one in her chest.
“Daddy won’t let you do that. The St. John name holds too much power, even you can’t convince him otherwise, sullied reputation, or not.”
“I can’t wait for the day you turn eighteen and move out of my house. I have no doubt that Weston St. John will not stand for a daughter-in-law with your sloppy mouth.”
She turned on her heel and marched out of Aspen’s bedroom.
It was close to midnight when Aspen finally fell asleep, her thoughts in turmoil. Her mother had always given her the cold shoulder, appearing aloof and uncaring, but up until that night, she had no idea her mother disliked her so much. The realization settled into her bones, heavy and unmovable.
North’s mother, even as a drunk, was more of a mother than her own. The only thing keeping her at home was the fact that she was not yet eighteen, and she knew if she made her move too soon, her father would cut her off and sully her name. If she brought any kind of shame on the family, she knew he’d react badly. Fear was the real leash, and she felt it tighten every time she thought about leaving.
The next morning, when she woke up and got ready for school, her body responded on autopilot, as she packed lunch for her sisters and got their school bags ready. Her hands moved without her asking them to, muscle memory shaped by years of responsibility.
Her father, Matthew, made an appearance in the kitchen, which was rare, and kissed the top of her head. “Try not to upset your mother so much, Aspen.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“You make me proud. You’re a good daughter.”
“Thank you, Daddy,” she said, with a soft smile. The praise warmed her for only a moment before it twisted into pressure.
It was days like this that made her head spin. It was almost like her parents agreed beforehand who would be good cop and who would be bad cop. It was always like that. She was tired of walking on eggshells in her own home, fearful of upsetting either one of them. She was more afraid of what would happen if her father’s meeting with Weston St. John didn’t go according to plan. Would he forbid her from seeing North? She hoped not. He and Axl were the only two people keeping her sane.
