Chapter 109

“And it doesn’t hurt,” I whisper, horrified and fascinated, “that you already took the power from your father once.”

My mind returns, suddenly, to how Christian got the Mafia King title from the media anyway – he’s the one who took over control of his family when his dad got sick – not his older brother.

“Bingo,” Christian replies, pointing his finger at me like a gun and making a little clicking sound with his tongue. “Dad wanted a way to get me out anyway. This was just…the catalyst he was waiting for.”

My heart sinks and I look down at my plate because…I mean, because I’m at the center of this, aren’t I? I’m the catalyst. If Christian didn’t have to keep me a secret…

“If it wasn’t you, Iris,” Christian says, and I look up to see him leaning closer to me, his face earnest. “It would have been something else. Don’t take this on your shoulders.”

I do as he says, nodding once, believing him and squaring my shoulders as if literally shaking it off. Because Christian’s right – his father was looking for a way to take his challenging son out of the running. And I was just the spark for that.

But, still…

“Christian,” I say quietly, tilting my head. “You said…you said you’re going to kill them all anyway. Did you mean…”

Quietly, stoic, he holds my gaze.

But he doesn’t answer.

“Tell me,” I command, suddenly needing to know.

“You don’t want to know, Iris,” he says.

“You don’t get to tell me what I want!” I bite back, starting to get angry with him.

“You’re not going to fucking like it, Iris,” Christian growls, leaning forward to challenge me. But I don’t back off.

“I didn’t ask you if I was going to like it,” I snap. “I just told you to tell me.”

“I’m trying to keep you safe, and not upset you,” he returns, his whole body going tense as he glares at me.

“Well, that only benefits you,” I say, frowning and narrowing my eyes in turn. “Keeping information from me just because it’s going to upset me and make me mad just allows you to keep me happily in your pocket, thinking everything’s fine when it’s not. That’s manipulative.”

He looks at me steadily for a moment before he sits up straighter before glances away. “This would be easier if you weren’t smart.” His voice is softer now, and I realize that he’s given in.

“Poor you,” I say, utterly sarcastic.

He smirks, even though I think it pains him, and looks back at me. “Full transparency, then?”

“Lay it on me,” I say with a little sigh, likewise backing off, letting the tension slip from me.

Christian leans forward, placing his elbows on the table, studying me carefully. I wait, patient. We have all night, after all. Christian looks at me steadily for a long time before he starts to speak. “This is bigger than just taking over my family, Iris,” he says. “I’m going to take them all out.”

I blink at him for a moment, not understanding.

Then his meaning hits me like a bus.

My mouth falls open and I lean forward, staring. “You’re…are you serious, Christian?”

“I’m dead serious, Iris,” he says, his jaw tightening. “Any family that stands in my way? They’re going down. I’m taking over the mafia business of our entire city. No more five families,” he says, holding out his hands with his five fingers spread out. “Now, just one enterprise. United under me.”

He curls those fingers together, making a single fist.

I stare at him, agape, for a long few moments. Christian just sits still, watching me process the information. “Christian,” I whisper when I find my voice again, my head shaking slowly back and forth even though I’m not sure I intended it to. “Why? Why are you doing that? That sounds…so dangerous.”

“It is dangerous,” he confirms. “But it’s worth it.”

“Why is it worth it!?” I burst out, my heart starting to race as I get more and more upset, as my mind flies through all the thousand consequences of what this means. “Christian, why are you risking all this for such a big move –“

“It’s necessary!” He says, starting to get a little angry too. I don’t think he expected as much protest from me. “It has to be done!”

“Wha – why!?” I burst out, still staring at him, completely not getting it. “And why you!? Why do you have to do it?”

“Why don’t you want me to do it?” He asks, glaring at me a little, I think thinking that I’m doubting him – which is not true. My faith in Christian is absolute – if he says that he can do this, he can.

“Because it’s going to paint a huge target on your back, Chris!” I say my hands flat on the table now in my desperation. “Obviously, obviously people are going to be…I don’t know, pissed off about this!? God, I don’t even have the words to describe how people are going to react!”

“I can handle it,” he snaps, leaning back in his chair, clenching his jaw.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t,” I return, leaning forward further, not letting him get away from me. “But Christian, why bother?”

He just sits back in his chair looking at me, frowning, perhaps finding his words. Perhaps letting me continue. Which I do, when he declines to say anything.

“Christian,” I whisper, shaking my head at him again, desperate now. Because I know how this ends – or at least, how this has a very good chance of ending. “Why are you getting further into this world? This was never – this was never supposed to be your life!”

He continues to stare at me, though his face softens, just incrementally. Encouraged, I continue.

“Your mom took you away from this, Christian, so that you wouldn’t have to live it! For thirteen years, you had everything she wanted you to have – a warm home, and family, and love. Your dad took you back, and wrapped you up in his world but…I mean, he’s already putting a bounty on your head, or whatever! So!? Take it for the sign it is, and let’s go!”

I gesture emphatically for the door, my words running away with me now. “Let’s just – go! We’ll move to Europe, assume new identities! We don’t even have to take any money – I’ll get a job in a bakery or something, and you can…I don’t know! Be a shepherd! Or whatever the fuck it is they do in Europe! We can walk away from this, Christian, from all of it!”

He smirks, a bit, at my ridiculous suggestion that he become a shepherd. But then he hangs his head, shaking it sadly. “It’s not like that, Iris.”

“Why not!?” I ask, my voice desperate.

“Because,” he sighs, lifting his head again and holding my gaze. “My father…his pride is wrapped up in it. He’s never, ever going to let me go. If he wants my head, Iris? He’s getting my head. He’s not going to just let me slip through his fingers and pretend I don’t exist. He’ll hunt me, and with his resources?”

He doesn’t supply the answer to his question, but he doesn’t need to. Because I know the answer.

Romano – he’d find us. And I believe it – I’ve met the man, I can see how vicious and how dogged he is.

“So that’s it, then?” I say quietly, a little heartbroken at the reality of Christian’s life. “You’re just…in it forever? Never getting out?”

“The only solution, Iris? The only way to make it change?” He leans forward now a bit eagerly, like he’s finally found the way to get it through to me. “Is to go further in. To burn it down from the inside, and reform it in the image that I choose.”

I stare at him for a long, long moment. “So that’s truly what you want, Christian?” I whisper. “To really, actually become the Mafia King?”

“It’s not about what I want,” he answers, his voice equally soft. “It’s about what I have to do.”

I shake my head slowly, still not getting it. “Why?”