Chapter 110

“This world, Iris,” Christian says quietly, his grey-blue eyes locked on mine. “It’s always going to exist. Even if my father died, and I and all my brothers walked away…someone would step up to take his place. Someone would take over, and get power, and start doing it all again.”

“So, that someone has to be you?” I ask, raising my eyebrow, not really believing it.

“That someone should be me,” he snaps, a little frustrated with me. Heat and anger raise in my core, stirring me, because I’m just as frustrated by him now – and we’re both stubborn.

But Christian continues, his voice snapping a little. “It should be me, because I’ve lived outside of this world. I know that there are better things out there, Iris – I had thirteen years of sunshine before I was pulled into the darkness. I have empathy, and pity, for the people that this world exploits. I have those because they were given to me by my mother. And you. And Damon, and your mom, and…and everyone else in our world.”

I sit back a little, struck. Because…I mean, the idea that the simplicity of our young lives affected him so much…

“You were a fucking lifeline to me, Iris,” he whispers. “I didn’t just read those emails because I missed you – even though I did, every god damn day.”

My heart stirs, and tears prick at my eyes. But if Christian notices, he doesn’t say anything, just continues spilling his heart out for me.

“I kept reading because you were reminding me, every day, what humanity was. And that it was worth fighting for. People like my father, like my brothers?” Christian sits back hard in his chair and shakes his head. “They don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves – they weren’t raised to. Everything is take, and exploit, and break so that you can get what you want. But you know what they didn’t have?”

“What?” I breathe, fascinated, completely swept away by the passion with which he speaks.

“They didn’t have a little Daisy growing in their window,” he whispers, reaching out a hand towards me. I hesitate for a moment, and then place my hand in his. “They don’t know that there are other lives out there. And I fucking pity them for it. You saved me, Daisy – and you’re going to save a lot more people too.”

“What? How?” I sputter, the tears slipping down my cheeks now – just one or two. Hastily, I brush them away, not understanding.

“The mafia will always have a place in this world, Iris,” Christian explains quietly, speaking quickly now, eager to get his ideas across and help me understand. “And frankly, sometimes it’s necessary – the government can’t do all things, and there’s…there’s a space for other people in positions of power to work in the dark, if…if that makes sense.”

I shake my head a little, because…I mean, because it doesn’t. At least not to me, not yet. But I squeeze his hand, letting him know that I believe him – that I trust him. Because if Christian says it’s true, then it is.

He nods to me, accepting my faith. “I’m not saying it’s all good – but there’s…a role that criminal organizations play. I understand that now – that it’s inevitable. But what is not inevitable is how incredibly cruel they’ve become, Iris. And how many people they exploit for personal gain. For…for how many lives they destroy.”

My heart sinks in my chest as Christian speaks, as I think of all the lives that have been destroyed by the Romano family. Slowly, I start to look around – at the little beach cottage, and the food on our plates. The fancy alcohol in our glasses.

All bought by this – by other people’s misery. My breath hitches in my chest, and I’m not sure I can bear it.

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” Christian murmurs, his hand tight on mine. “And Iris – if I do what I think I can? If I make a big move, and take it? Take all of it?” He stares at me for a moment in silence, willing me to believe. “I can make it better. A lot better for a lot of people. Lives will…lives will improve.”

My mind races, wondering at the possibilities of this. Christian – he is good, I know it in my heart. But can he ever have that kind of effect?

I flash back to where I was months ago, in the strip club, Bonetti’s guys leering over me and talking casually about how I’d been sold, about how I’d work in a cat house against my will. And even though I’d been saved – thrown over Nico’s shoulder, carried out to an SUV –

Well, that had all just been luck, hadn’t it? Luck that Christian had been there that night. Luck that my oldest friend was in a position of power and was able to take me out of there.

But how many other women were not as lucky as me?

My eyes refocus on Christian’s face. “No more…no more sexual slavery?” I ask quietly, my voice thick with despair. “No more…girls getting sold into prostitution to pay off their boyfriends’ debt?”

“No more,” Christian assures me, his voice a whisper. “I can do that, Iris. And I will. I will do it.”

I can’t help it then, the torrent of tears that start to slip down my face. Because I want that – I want it very badly.

But god, at what cost? At what risk?

Christian clicks his tongue and murmurs something, standing quickly and coming around to my side of the table. He crouches by my side, making me turn towards him, my hand still in his. “What, what is it, Iris?” he murmurs, gentle. “What’s so bad about all of that?”

“I mean, all of that sounds, great, Chris!” I burst out, taking wiping at my tears with my free hand. “I just…I’m not stupid, you know!? I know what risk you have to go to in order to take over everything! They’re –“ my voice hitches here as I start almost to sob. “They’re going to try to kill you! Like, really try! Really hard!”

Christian works hard to fight a smile at the sloppy, juvenile way that I’ve phrased that. “I mean, they’ve tried to kill me before, Iris,” he says. “It didn’t work that time either.”

I hiccup even as I give him a dirty glare, because that’s not precisely helping his argument now, is it? Christian can’t help it, he laughs a little bit. “Come here,” he murmurs, tugging on my hand and wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me into his lap on the kitchen floor. “It’s going to be all right.”

For a second I lean against him, wiping at my tears, but then I go stiff in his lap and work hard to get back up, not letting him lull me into a false sense of security. “No it’s not, Chris!”

I shove hard at him, getting to my feet.

“Iris!” he protests, still sitting on the floor, holding his hands out, a silent plea for me to come and talk to him.

“No!” I shout, putting my hands on my hips and glaring down at him. “You’re not going to get me to agree to any situation which puts your life at risk. Do you know what that would do to me, Christian!? If…”

But then my breath hitches again, and I lose it at the thought – at the thought of Christian, this time, laying lifeless in a puddle in a parking lot –

Just like Edward Marino, who did nothing more than touch the wrong girl –

And here Christian is, planning to destroy families –

I turn, tilting my head back, pressing the heels of my hands to my eyes as I start to panic, tears slipping down my face. I shake my head hard, vehement, saying no to the world –

No to the universe –

Because no, no! They can’t have him – they can’t take him – not when I’ve finally got him back, not when he’s mine!