Chapter 185

“I’ll stick around as long as you want, Bambs,” Frankie says, looking down and working hard to hide his emotions as he says this. Then he quickly grabs a French fry and throws it at me. “As long as you stop snoring so loudly while you sleep –“

I burst out laughing, grabbing the fry and eating it, even as I smack at his feet, still in my lap. “Oh, I don’t snore and you know it, Frankie,” I say, shaking my head at him. “You just keep waking yourself up with your own snoring and blaming it on me.”

“I stand by my assertions,” he says, giving me a mock glare as his face bursts into a big grin. “But yeah, Bambs. If you want me around…I’m here. Just,” he shrugs, looking down at the fries, “I would also understand if you didn’t want me around. If you just…wanted to leave every part of that world behind, start fresh. It’s probably safest. I mean, you alone…you could probably disappear. The two of us together…it’s harder.”

“Frank,” I say quietly, reaching out and putting a hand on his knee. “I wouldn’t…ask you to get me out of there and then leave you alone. I wouldn’t blow up your life and then leave you in the dust.”

He raises his eyes to meet mine. “You could, if you wanted to. I would understand.”

“I don’t want to.” I hold his gaze with perfect seriousness.

He leans forward, more intent than usual. “I’m not…a good person, Iris,” he says, his use of my real name emphasizing how much he truly wants me to hear this. “I’m walking away from this world too, but I’m not ever going to be a good guy who hasn’t murdered dozens of people, who hasn’t tortured people, who hasn’t done…unspeakable things to get rid of their bodies.”

I go a little pale to hear him confess so blandly, but I don’t look away. He deserves more than that, after all he’s done. “I don’t think I’m a good person anymore either, Frank,” I whisper. “I think I used to be. But…I think this world turned both of us.”

He sighs, sinking back against the door, shaking his head. “Nah, I chose my sins much more than you chose yours, Bambs. You’re still a good person.”

I shrug, not really believing it. I’m too much of a coward now to ever consider myself good.

“Maybe that’s our new leaf then,” I say quietly, letting my thumb drift lightly over his knee. “We can spend our lives endeavoring to be good.”

He raises his eyebrow a little bit. “You think you can ever train me up to be a good boy, Bambi?” he asks, a little sly, making me smile. Then he shakes his head, making my smile grow as he drops his eyes. “I don’t think you even want me to be good. You like me bad.”

“I like you precisely as you are, Frank,” I say, patting his knee and drawing my hand back. “So, if you’re bad then…I’ll be bad too.”

“What a pair,” he says on a sigh, turning and looking out the windshield at the dying day.

I give him a moment, thinking through out situation carefully.

“So,” I say quietly, changing the subject just a little. “If we had…lots of cash, what would our next move be?”

“To keep running,” he says instantly, turning back to me. “As far as we can.”

“What’s past Florida?” I ask, a little confused. “I mean…do we turn right? Go west?”

“Or across oceans,” he says with a shrug. “Central America is close. If we had more money, Europe. Just…lose ourselves, make it so the trail is so long and drawn out it can’t be followed.”

“And when would we stop?”

“When we were too tired to go any further.” He holds my eyes with his own pretty brown ones. “Or when we get somewhere…so beautiful we just can’t leave.”

A little smile finds my lips as he says that, because I’m not sure I’m used to Frankie saying something so poetic. Even though I think I’ve long known, deep down, that he’s been capable of it. “Okay,” I say quietly. “Then…we go until we find that somewhere beautiful.”

“All right,” he says slowly, staring at my face without blinking. “Only problem is,” he smirks a bit, “we’re still dead broke, Bambs.”

“Oh, we’re broke,” I say, sighing and looking again out the window, peering down at the set of businesses below. “But, I mean, we’re creative people not totally disinclined towards the seedy underbelly of the world. Surely there’s money to be had, if we’re willing to just…go get it.”

“What,” Frankie says, laughing and looking where I’m looking. “Want me to go rob that gas station?”

I click my tongue then in pretend shock. “No, I want to go rob the gas station!”

“We only have one gun, Bambs,” he murmurs, turning his eyes slowly back to me. “And I am not giving it to you.”

My eyes go wide. “We have a gun?”

He laughs a little, grinning at me. “We always have a gun. We will always have a gun.”

“Well, we could sell the gun,” I offer, one hand out towards him.

“I am…never selling the gun,” he says, leaning forward with a smile. “Seriously, though – I know you’re not leaning towards anything that’s going to get us arrested. So what actually is going on in that pretty little head?” he asks, twirling a finger in the air and then pointing it at my forehead.

“Well,” I say, perking up and sitting straight. “I do just so happen as to have a very particular set of lucrative skills.”

He raises an eyebrow at me. “You’re going to…cook?”

I smile and shake my head.

“Bake?” his face screws up in confusion, making me laugh.

“No, Frank!” I laugh, shoving his feet off my lap and quickly opening my door, jumping out of the car and walking over to the edge of the road, where I can more clearly see the shops below. Frankie’s at my side almost instantly, peering over with me. “See, there? With the pink and purple neon lights?”

He frowns, looking closer. “Girls, girls, girls?” He turns to me with a frown and then his entire face drops in horror. “Iris, no!”

“What!?” I say, laughing and grabbing his hand, tugging him back towards the car. “I’m good at it!”

“Iris,” he groans, “you stripped at an elite club in the city where they had a bouncer checking credit scores at the door! Not some seedy roadside place! This is –“

“All the more reason why I’m going to blow those other girls out of the water!” I laugh, gesturing again towards the club with a little more vehemence. “Besides, it’s dinner time, they’ll all just start coming in now –“

“Bambina, my love,” Frankie groans, holding my hand and tugging me back towards him, “you know I support any instance of you in a rhinestone bikini, but it is way too dangerous.”

“That’s why I’ve got you, though, right?” I say softly, looking up into his face. We just stare at each other for a moment as he considers it – I think truly weighing the risks against the rewards. I hesitate but then lift a hand to his face, cupping his cheek in my palm. “Just enough to keep us going. You know…towards that somewhere beautiful.”

He melts at that, visibly, his eyes falling shut and his long lashes casting shadows on his cheek as he sighs, giving in. “I can’t believe you’re making me let you do this.”

“Oh, come on, Frank,” I say with a sigh, giving his cheek a happy tap with my palm. “You love strippers – I’m taking you to like, your favorite place! Let’s go!”

Frankie groans, but he lets me drag him back towards the car.