Chapter 198

Matilde is immediately at my side, gasping and rapidly asking me questions in Portuguese – questions I don’t understand or don’t have time to process as my whole body shakes with the realization.

That I’m…

I’m…

That I apparently have been the entire time I’ve been here, and that I have just been to stupid to realize it. That even Matilde realized it, and thought that I knew, and assumed that Frankie was the father and that we’d just been…I don’t know, figuring out our relationship!?

But Frankie is…

I groan, the tears coming faster now as all of the details flood into my mind – the only possible answer to the question of how this happened.

That history has somehow darkly repeated itself, and that I am now in the same place Christian’s mother was more than two decades ago when she fled from the house of the Mafia King.

Matilde places her hands firm under my face, forcing me to look up at her, staring down at me with a great deal of worry about my sudden collapse into tears.

“Estou bem,” I say, holding my hands out in front of me, begging her to see that I am – as I say – okay, even as my whole body shakes and my chest hiccups with tears. “Estou bem.”

“’Ambi,” she whispers, staring down at me, desperately worried, shaking her head and not understanding.

But I – honestly, even though I should take the time to calm down and assure her that I’m okay – I can’t. I don’t have any thought in my head except to – to go – to find a way to fix this –

“Estou bem,” I repeat, pushing myself shakily to my feet and then padding swiftly for the door.

She calls after me, and passively I feel her hands tugging at my skirts as I move away, but I’m too fast – I’m out the door and down the stone steps into the garden before she can stop me. And then I’m running, kicking off the little sandals that will only hinder my progress, grabbing my skirt and lifting it high as I run directly for the fields.

I just…run, my head swiveling around as I go, looking for them – for the group of workers amongst the vines, wherever they are today. The only sound is the wind rushing against my ears, and my chest still hiccupping with sobs, and the pounding of my feet against the soil.

But only two things are in my head – utter panic and the need to find him. Find him right now.

“Frank!” The word breaks loud from my throat the moment I see them, see the group. I shout it again, picking up speed as my chest tightens with relief, but also with my ragged breath. I have no idea how long I’ve been running – how far I’ve come –

It doesn’t even matter.

Almost as one the workers’ heads begin to turn towards me and I notice the Boss standing tall, frowning in my direction, shading his eyes as he looks my way. But only one of the workers immediately drops his tools and begins to rush for me, his urgency matching my own.

A loud sob breaks from my throat as I finally stop pushing my legs to run, as I slip to a shaky walk, tears still falling from my eyes as I work to gasp deep breaths into my lungs.

Frankie finds me in a moment, running down the line of grapevines towards me, immediately wrapping me up in his arms as I collapse against him, exhausted and heartsick and devastated and tired. “Iris!” he breathes, shocked and terrified, taking a step back as my weight hits him, even as he holds me tight. “What – what the hell happened!?”

But I just shake my head, burying my face against his chest, wrapping my fists in the fabric of his shirt and trying to find the words, trying to figure it out – how to tell him this – how to break it to him – how not to ruin everything –

“Bambi, please,” he begs, his voice breaking as he folds his legs under him, sinking gracefully to the ground and taking me with him so that I’m bundled neatly in his lap, my face pressed to his shoulder as I cry. “Are you – are you okay? What happened? Please, baby, you’re – you’re scaring the hell out of me –“

I take a deep breath at that, hating that I’m scaring him and knowing that I’m reacting badly to this – that I’m probably doing everything wrong. But I can’t help it.

Slowly, I raise my eyes to his, still crying and working hard to steady my trembling lip.

“What?” he asks, staring down at me with such worry and love on his face, lifting a hand to cup my cheek. “What is it, sweetheart?”

It takes me a moment, but I swallow hard. Staring up at him, still gripping his shirt in my fist, I begin to spill it all out. How Matilde touched me, and said something, and how I thought back and haven’t had my period since we’ve been here, and how…how I wasn’t careful, before, with the birth control…

My words begins to fail me as Frankie’s face goes paler and paler, as I see that he takes my meaning perfectly. That he understands.

“Holy shit, Iris,” he whispers, awed, his eyes slipping down from my face to my stomach. “You’re…you’re pregnant.”

I don’t say anything, just shaking in his arms, horror racing through me when I hear him voice the truth for the first time.

Pregnant.

I’m…I’m pregnant. With Christian’s baby – the heir to the Romano crime family, to all the businesses and enterprises therein.

Pregnant.

I moan in despair, my eyes drifting shut, turning my head hard into Frankie’s shoulder.

He snaps out of it then, his arms tightening around me as he ducks his head lower, pressing his cheek to my hair, beginning to rock me back and forth even as he processes what must be his own horrible shock as he gets the news that the girl he ruined his life for – threw everything away for and finally, finally got...

Is pregnant with another man’s child.

We stay that way for a long time, with Frankie holding me tight in the shade of the grapevines, just…sitting there in the dirt, both of us processing our new reality. At some point someone comes over I think to check on us, but Frankie says a few words to them, letting them know that we’re okay and just need a moment.

And then we’re left alone for…I don’t know how long. Long enough for my tears to still, and my breaths to soften.

For me to lift my head and look tentatively up into Frankie’s face, even though I still keep his shirt tight in my hand.

“Hey,” he says, giving me a soft little smirk as he leans close, pressing his forehead briefly to mine like I’m some incredibly precious thing. “You all right?”

I laugh a little at the simplicity of his question, finally unfolding my hand from his shirt and wiping at my tears with the inside of my wrist. “No,” I say, my word hitching a bit.

“You will be, though,” Frankie murmurs, still rocking me a little, soft and gentle. “You’re going to be all right. We all are.”

“Frankie,” I whisper, shaking my head at him. “How…how is this ever going to be all right?”

“Well, what’s really different?” he asks, looking at me seriously as he heaves a simple shrug.

I gape at him, suddenly worried that he…misunderstood.

But something about this just makes him laugh. “Seriously, Iris, I thought you were running out here to let me know they’d…found us or something.”

Dread twists in my stomach at the thought and I groan, turning my face again into his shoulder and shaking my head. “No, not that, Frank,” I sigh. “Just…you know, another form of world-altering news.”

“Yeah,” he says, taking a deep and even breath that somehow brings me peace beyond my panic.

We’re quiet for a moment more before I raise my eyes again. “What are we going to do, Frankie?” I whisper, desperately scared.

But he just smiles at me, reaching out to cup my cheek in his palm. “We’re going to raise a baby, Iris.”

I just stare at him, appalled.

And his smile deepens. “Nothing’s changed, babe,” he says, grinning at me at in the light of the Portuguese afternoon. “Not really. We’re safe here, and we have a job, and – well, I mean, we’ll have to see if we can get a bigger room, right? Probably a house. But,” he shrugs. “Plan stays the same, right?”

“Really?” I ask, wanting quite desperately to believe it but unable to really understand how anyone could be…that good.

Could…love me enough for this. Could just take this sort of thing in stride.

“Really,” Frankie whispers, holding me tighter and dipping his head to press a warm, soft kiss to my mouth. “We’ll just have a baby, Iris. We’ll love the hell out of it. Raise it to be…really good at picking grapes.”

A laugh stutters from my mouth at that as I just stare at him.

“And you don’t…care…that…”

He shrugs, dismissing it already. “Your biological dad didn’t do great by you,” he says quietly, “and mine was a dick. Let’s give this whole adoptive father thing a shot.”

“You…want to be the baby’s dad?” I ask, my voice squeaking on the hope of it all, part of me still disbelieving that he’s that generous, that good.

“If you’ll let me,” Frankie says quietly, worry suddenly coming into his eyes. “But if you want me to, Iris…it would give me a lot of joy to have a family with you. I mean,” he frowns at me a bit, “it was always a part of the plan. Just…happening a little faster than I thought.”

I just stare at him in awe, still shocked, even as a tremulous smile starts on my lips.

“So, what do you think, Bambs?” he murmurs, looking down at me like his heart might break if I say no. “Want to have this kid with me?”

A little laugh stumbles from me and I just stare at him for a second, even as the truth wells up in my heart. After a second of just gazing up into his beautiful face, so much more precious to me as each day passes, I raise a hand and brush my fingers through my hair. “Yeah, Frank,” I say, breathless. “I want to raise this baby with you. Let’s do it.”

Frankie lets out a wicked little snarl as he snatches me closer to him in a hug, making me burst into laughter that’s almost slightly hysterical to match his joy.

“We’re having a baby!” he shouts out, making me laugh harder with how his words ring with triumph and joy and wonder.

And for a second time that day, a happy cheer goes up from the workers of the vineyard, who eagerly show their support