Chapter 39

(Isabella’s POV)

Santiago carries me to the Pack Hospital where they admit me. He tells them everything Bethany said—nearly word-for-word. The doctor says that Bethany took excellent care of me. He says that my wound was thoroughly cleaned and that the stitches look professional.

We still do not know why I have such an extreme sensitivity to silver. The doctor is running more tests to investigate it.

The doctor agrees with Bethany that people want me dead and seem to know about silver as a possible avenue to achieve that desired result.

Santiago growls at the mention of someone targeting my life. When he reacts this way, my heartbeat jumps…like he might actually care.

Nurses help me take a shower, then change the bandages. Ariana dropped off clothes for me, so at least I get to be comfortable in my own loose-fitting pajamas as opposed to the hospital gown.

Santiago leaves. I assume he is going back to the pack house. He’s probably babying Layla.

“Perhaps she broke a nail and needs to be rushed in for a prenatal check-up,” my wolf says.

“Oh yes, we can’t have that.” I return.

The truth is simple. It hurts, but Santiago has no real affection for me. He only offered help with my legal troubles because he needed something from me.

He goes feral or his wolf does, rather, and for some reason, apparently only known to the moon goddess herself, I relieve those symptoms. I am only here to solve the issue of him losing control and going feral…nothing more.

Admitting the truth hurts more than it should. He doesn’t want me. In fact, he feels no emotional connection to me at all. I could have died in the rogue forest, decomposed there, and the only reason he might have noticed is if he lost control and went feral.

Then, he’d remember our contract and wonder where I was. A pit forms in my belly. It feels like my heart drops out of my chest. Tears sting the corner of my eyes.

Thoughts mix with memories and race through my mind. The way he grabbed hold and kissed me…dancing at the Ball.

My eyes run out of room for the tears so they run down my cheeks with some landing on my lips. The droplets are warm and salty.

(Santiago’s POV)

I can’t stand the thought of anyone harming Bella. I decide to order a secret detail to stay with her moving forward. It’s the best way to keep her safe when I can’t be there.

The doctor says that while Bethany took the absolute best care possible of Bella without medical-grade supplies, he highly recommends admitting her for a few days.

Nurses help Bella clean up and get comfortable, then they run bloodwork, take x-rays, and administer an IV. The doctor says she is mildly dehydrated, and the IV should help speed up her healing.

I hate hospitals. The combination of seeing Bella so weak and vulnerable, with my own painful childhood memories, and the chemical smell of the sanitary environment that burns my nose is overwhelming. It always reminds me of the last time I saw my mother.

Lately, because of Layla, I have had to spend even more time here. The thought causes my skin to crawl.

I decide to leave Bella in the care of the doctors at the Pack Hospital.

Part of me wanted to stay with her…

I roll my eyes at my own stupidity and slap my forehead with the palm of my hand.

I didn’t mean to kiss her. She was so upset. After all these months and everything I’ve seen her go through, Layla being here is what broke her.

I close my eyes and relive that moment…

She immediately met my need with her own. Her lips parted, inviting my tongue to explore her mouth. Reflex seemed to bring her fingers to my hair.

Her touch felt like electricity, yet it also calmed me and my wolf. She wrapped her graceful fingers around tousled strands and lightly pulled while her body arched backward. The low moan she released into my mouth aroused me more than I thought possible.

The kiss deepened. She’s intoxicating…. I was alive for the first time in forever in that moment, tasting her, exploring her mouth with mine. Any longer and I might have claimed her right then. But then Layla showed up, and Bella pushed me away… then ran off.

What did she think when she saw Layla in my bed? Was she jealous?

“You’re an idiot! I wish I was the wolf of an Omega over you! At least the lower ranks aren’t stupid when it comes to accepting a mate!” my wolf says.

“I’m not in the mood for this,” I snap back.

Nervous energy has me pacing my study.

“You fool!” my wolf screams at me then lets out a howl so shrill it could break glass. “You have spent too much time and energy on Layla! Bella is correct! She is crazy. She is using you! I don’t believe that the pup she carries is even ours!”

“The timeline matches up,” I counter.

“It’s too fucking convenient!” he screams.

“You’re giving me a fucking headache. Can you please cut out the screaming and howling bull shit?”

His response is to howl louder.

“Alright! You’ve made your point dammit!”

“Isabella is wise, for her age, especially. She is right not to trust Layla. You shouldn’t either.”

“I don’t.”

“You desire her as much as I do, Santiago. Why do you fight it?”

“Mates are never a good thing. It’s a liability and an invitation for heartache. Look at what happened to Mom! Not to mention me, and Layla, and Isabella, and Jesse.”

“Santiago. You aren’t your dad or that twit, Jesse. Isabella is certainly nothing like Layla.”

“I can’t be made weak by a mate.”

“Don’t forget who you're talking to, boy! It’s not just fear of failure or humiliation for you. You are scared you aren’t good enough for our Bella.”

“I don’t want to hurt her.”

“You just did!”

“What do you mean?”

“You told her that the contract is what matters to you…not her. And she is hurt.”

I owe her an apology. The hurt I caused her by saying what I did about the contract, as if it were more important than her hurts my own heart as if I’d sliced through it.

I walk by a mirror and immediately avert my gaze. I can’t even look myself in the eye right now. Moon goddess, I know I should go apologize to her. I left her at the hospital for observation by herself.

Separation is what is best. We can’t have an emotional connection.

“Why did you kiss her then?” my wolf asks.

“I don’t know. She was upset. After everything she’d been through, Layla being here seemed to be what broke her. One minute, I was exasperated with her wanting to leave. The next, I thought it was cute that she got upset seeing Layla in my bed. Then I grabbed her and kissed her.”

My wolf responds with judgmental noises then releases a guttural howl that rattles my brain.

“What the actual fuck are you doing Wolf!”

“Communing with Bella’s wolf.”

“You can do that? How? How are they?”

“She calls her human sweet-natured but stubborn. She thinks I’m her second chance as well.”

“What does she think of me?”

“You’re an ass.”

“Well, she’s not wrong. I realize you are all suffering. It's not like I’m having a grand old time, you know!”

I walk around like the dead without a heartbeat. Kissing her is like the jolt of an AED machine. She breathes life into me. I’ve fucked up. I’ve let her get too close.