Chapter 231

Violet’s POV

Instead of lunch plans, Theo told Marcy and Aunt Marissa that we would back for dinner with both the families. Then my husband dragged me around the market, picking up a loaf of warm bread, some cheese, dried meats, fruit, and a hand-woven blanket that was the same red and yellows as our wildflowers.

“Are you going to tell me why we’re staying a day longer than intended?” I asked, following him as he paid and left the market.

“Eventually,” he winked at me.

“We should let Kincaid and Dahlia know—”

“Already texted Dahlia. She said they’ll come back tomorrow, too.”

I looked Theo over. Usually, I would be peppering him with question, trying to figure out what he was up to.

But I was just so tired. I didn’t have it in me. So I just followed him along the road until he stopped.

“My High Queen,” he turned to me, his arms full of the supplies he’d purchased, “I would be humbled if you would honor me with a kiss,” he said in a mock-formal tone.

I didn’t even have the energy to roll my eyes at his silliness. Though I wasn’t about to withhold a simple kiss from my own husband.

I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to his.

The second we touched, wind roared all around us. When I opened my eyes, pulling back from Theo, we were in the enchanted clearing way out in the jungle.

The kiss had been a distraction, an excuse to get me to touch him so he could splinter us here. The mischievous dog.

I glared at him lightly.

He only chuckled as he began setting up the items in his hands: first the blanket, then the food laid out in the middle with room on each side for us to both sit. A picnic, I realized.

“We’re staying an extra night in Henosis on the eve of war for a picnic?” I asked even as I sat down on the blanket.

“Technically,” he argued as he sat down across from me, “we don’t know when war is coming. It could be tomorrow; it could be in a year. Statistically speaking, we probably have time for one picnic.”

I stared my husband down, and he finally dropped the carefree, confident act along with his smile.

“I know,” he told me. “I know it’s too much. Your hallucinations, putting the lives of those we love at risk – all of it.”

My chest tightened as he brought up the truths that were slowly suffocating me.

“You were right,” he continued. “This is one of the reasons I didn’t want the crown. I would have yielded beneath the weight of all these burdens.”

Yielding. What a beautiful, tempting word.

“But you won’t,” he added. “Which is one of the many reasons you are already making a better ruler than I would have.”

“Am I?” I challenged, remembering the other two times we’d been in this clearing.

The first time had been the altrosis, when Auntie had magically restored my memories of having my magic repressed.

The second time had been a few days later, when I’d taken Theo here to reconnect with him, to find love and hope in a world that was getting increasingly darker. I remembered all the things I had admitted to being afraid of: Owen, the hallucinations, the uncertainty of being able to keep our family safe.

I supposed Owen had been thwarted successfully. Though the last time we were here, it never occurred to me that I might truly end up High Queen of our country. Yet another burden to bear.

And the hallucinations… they were only getting worse.

Theo mulled over my words, considering if he could have done as well as me as High King so far. “I’d like to think,” he began, “that I could have accomplished as many impactful changes as efficiently as you have. The only difference is I would have retreated to a much darker place in order to bear all the burdens you hold.”

I avoided his eyes, looking off into the jungle. “It’s hard to imagine a place darker than where I am right now.” I had no memory of feeling this hopeless in all my life.

Of course, I would keep fighting. But I no longer held the hope that I would be alive to watch our child grow up – if the child didn’t die with me. I held no illusions that everyone we would dine with tonight would still be alive after the war was over.

Theo stood, and I returned my attention to him as he offered me his hand. I took it, leaning into him more than usual as I stood.

Holding me close, pressing our bodies together, Theo tilted his head up to the striking sun. “Do you feel that?” he asked. “The warmth of the sun?”

I closed my eyes, a single tear escaping down my cheek, cloaking my vision in the darkness that was consuming me within. But a calloused finger pushed my chin upward, tilting my face to the sky.

And I felt it. The heat of the sun focused on my face more than any other part of my body, the warmth of it seeping beyond my skin as if my cells themselves were drinking it in. I felt the way my breath steadied, even if only slightly, under the unyielding warmth shining down.

I opened my eyes as Theo shifted away, clasping his hand in mine as he led me to the outskirts of the clearing. He buried his face in a wall of small, white blossoms and breathed it in. With a little tug on my hand, he invited me to join him.

And I did. I breathed in the floral scent of fresh jasmine, so beautiful and clear.

Theo retracted his face from the jasmine with a smile. “It smells as gorgeous as that bougainvillea looks.” He nodded behind me, and I turned to find stunningly bright pink blossoms cascading over a tree branch like a waterfall of pigment.

“That is brilliant,” I conceded.

“Shhh,” he shushed me, and I whirled on him, worried he was picking up on an incoming threat. But he only held a finger to his lips that beheld a lazy smile before he closed his eyes and pointed to his own ear.

So I listened.

I listened to the grass beneath our feet whispering in the soft breeze, the song of the cicadas ebbing and flowing like ocean waves, interrupted only by the intermittent call and answer of jungle birds.

Then with my eyes still closed, my senses tingling with the scent of jasmine and the chirping of cicadas and the warmth of the sun, Theo began to speak. I kept my eyes closed as I listened to his voice.

“You may have found the same darkness that I would have, but the difference between you and me is that you have the strength to return to the light. Darkness does not feel this warm, does not smell this good, does not look this vibrant, does not sound this peaceful yet alive. The fact that you can enjoy all these things with me means you’re already coming back to the light.”

I kept my eyes closed as his fingers made contact with my cheek, softly caressing my skin. “And in the moments when you forget where the light is, I will be at your side to point you in the right direction.”

I opened my eyes, swallowing my emotion, because he was right. All these little details were beautiful, and they existed despite the coming war, despite my hallucinations, and they would continue to exist no matter who lived or died.

“What about taste?” I asked. “You’ve engaged all my sense but that one.” I looked to our picnic in the middle of the clearing expectantly.

“Lunch will be fine,” Theo replied, “but if you want a taste to pull you out of the darkness…” he smirked and reached down to unzip his pants.

I couldn’t help but laugh at the insinuation, the reverberation of the laughter in my chest feeling simultaneously foreign and healing. I wondered if I had truly laughed since my last hallucination.

Theo zipped his pants back up, his eyes dancing with success, as if making me laugh was his crowning achievement.

He tugged me close to him again, whispering against my lips. “Promise me, my mate, my alari, my High Queen, that though the darkness may overwhelm you at times, you will never allow it to overtake you. That you will seek me out to flood your life with light once more.”

I sighed into my mate and kissed him. “I promise.”