Chapter 67

Violet

He froze mid-motion, his hands on the fastening of his pants. His eyes snapped to mine, a flicker of confusion crossing his face before it softened into something closer to understanding.

“You can’t shift?”

I shook my head, wrapping my arms around myself.

“I haven’t been able to for weeks. Not since… Lucas.”

Theodore’s hands dropped, his expression unreadable for a moment before he crossed the distance between us.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it mattered,” I said quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. “I can handle myself without it.”

He studied me, his gaze searching mine as if trying to piece together the fragments of a puzzle. “Violet, it matters because it’s a part of you. A part of who you are. Not because I need you to shift for any reason.”

I looked away, my chest tight with a mix of shame and frustration. But Theodore didn’t press me further. Instead, he took my hand, his touch warm and grounding.

“We’ll walk,” he said simply, his voice carrying no judgment. “Come on. I’ll show you the way.”

And just like that, the tension in my chest loosened. I let him lead me deeper into the forest, feeling, oddly okay about it.

Theodore stared ahead as we walked. His lips parted slightly as if he wanted to say something, but no words came. I hated the silence—it was heavy, suffocating.

"You can ask."

He shook his head. "I… don't have questions, but… I'm more than willing to listen."

“I…” My voice cracked, and I looked away, focusing on the rough bark of a nearby tree as we passed. I blew out a soft breath. “It’s the rejection. It severed my connection to my wolf, I think.”

When I glanced at him, I saw the brief flicker of pain that crossed his face.

“Severed or… damaged?”

I shook my head. "I'm not sure, yet."

I wasn't sure that I'd ever be able to shift again.

"Do you think that a formal rejection might help?"

I nodded, my throat tightening as I forced the words out. “I think that's the only logical thing to think at this point."

"What… does it feel like?" He asked. "Is the pain--"

"It's not as bad anymore." I smiled. "Practically gone now, honestly. But my wolf just feels… completely out of reach. And with her, my power. All of it.”

"I doubt it. I saw what he looked like before I got there." I smiled at that. "… if I hadn't wanted to run, would you have ever told me?"

I shrugged, trying to keep my tone light, even though my chest felt like it was cracking open. “Probably not."

He tightened his grip on my hand. "Why?"

"Because it’s embarrassing." I huffed. "Given my history, my experience, my training, my position? The fact that I can’t even shift…”

I shook my head. My face burning with embarrassment. My heart full of bitterness. It was just one more thing that Lucas had taken from me.

“You think this makes you less?” His voice was low, barely more than a growl.

I shrugged again, feigning indifference. “Doesn’t it? I know a hell of a lot of people who would think so.”

Theodore moved closer to me, his warmth brushing against me. I didn’t look at him, afraid I’d see pity. I couldn’t handle that, not from him. But when he finally spoke, his voice was steady, resolute.

“No,” he said simply.

I blinked, caught off guard by the conviction in his tone.

“This doesn’t make you less, Violet. It makes what you’ve done so far even more remarkable,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “You’ve faced everything without the one part of you that most wolves would rely on, and you’re still standing. I mean… I'd love to have seen what you were capable of against those rogues with your wolf if that's what you were like without it… Lucas might actually be dead by now.”

I laughed. "Thanks… I think I needed to hear that."

He drew me closer, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "You have my strength until you regain your own… then we are definitely playing a game of strip spar."

I laughed. "Played alot have you?"

"No, but I've heard it's more fun when you want to see the other one naked instead of just embarrass them."

"That sounds like there's a story there."

"And I don't plan to tell it."

I eyed him, noting the red on his cheeks.

"If I win, you have to tell me."

He scowled. "You're the worst."

I shrugged. "I offer a blowjob if you win."

He licked his lips. "You're terrible, but deal."

I shook my head. How could I be surprised?

“I won’t pretend this isn’t troubling,” he admitted, his voice softening. “It is. But not because it changes what I think of you. It’s because I hate thinking of all the ways things could be different if just one thing had changed."

I shuddered, and we fell into silence as we walked. He matched his pace with mine, keeping close enough that I could feel his warmth seeping into my body. When the cabin came into view, nestled in the heart of the forest, Theodore squeezed me close.

"What do you think?"

The path to the cabin was quiet, save for the crunch of leaves under our feet and the occasional rustle of wildlife.

"Did you build it yourself?"

"I did. It’s a sanctuary,” he replied, his voice calm, almost reverent. “I come here when I need to think… or escape. This is where I was when you thought I was out hooking up.”

I chuckled. "Well, if hunting feels that good for you… it's a wonder you haven't killed more people."

He grinned. "I was too busy fucking."

“Speaking of sanctuaries,” I began hesitantly, “when I was stationed on Darkmoon’s border, there was an outpost like this, right on the border… I spent a lot of time there when I… on the anniversary of mom's death, I'd go there."

I shook my head. "It's… strange to know that despite all my training, I can't go back there util this is done."

"Why not?"

"It's an area full of rogues. They congregate there because of the water source."

"And now?"

"I wouldn't risk it," I said. "Not without my wolf."

We drew closer and I gasped. My heart filling with joy as we rounded the cabin and I could see the area was dotted with flowers—brilliant blues, deep purples, and fiery reds, their petals glowing faintly in the dappled sunlight.

“This place is magical,” I murmured, crouching to inspect one of the blossoms. “Literally. These flowers are such good luck. I'm not surprised they grow out here, though."

"Oh?"

I gestured to him. "Well, you're here. Makes sense, and the magic in area is more than enough."

I scanned the area and frowned. "But I don't see wards." I hummed. "Unless you've got really subtle ones… Though given your power, it would make sense to load up on subtle protections. I've heard that it can grate on your instincts if they're too overt." I smiled and tiptoed over to one of the delicate flowers usually used for healing potions. "Goddess, I missed having someone to talk about this stuff with."

"No friends from school?" He asked lightly.

I shrugged. "It's different. Commnication across the border is always slow with the royal edicts. Never mind the tariffs-- Oh!" I squealed, hopping onto another pathway and leaning down to check the smallest bloom hiding under a bush. "You actually got one of these to grow here? What are you protections like? Are you using tanzai bedrock or--" I gasped and looked back at him. "Do you have a wardstone under your cabin, Theo'? If you do, you have to show me. I haven't ever gotten to seen another one in person. The one at the Donovan Estate is near ancient. I've been meaning to update it, but I just haven't had the time, and warding isn't my area of expertise."

Theodore raised an eyebrow, a faint smile playing at his lips. "What do I get out of it?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Let me think about it… I can at least offer another knowledgeable ear." I jerked my head at the row of wardvines. "Those are cute, but risky if they're growing out of your wardstone. They could be poisoned… unless you're counting on --- well, actually, Theo', are you…"

My words died in my mouth as I looked back at him. That sinking feeling turned heavy. His eyes were filled with light. Enjoyment, but… they were vacant. It was the kind of look that Lily would get when I was in the middle of an engineering high and she didn't understand a word I said.

"Theo…?"

The smile faded from his face, replaced by something vulnerable and almost embarrassed.

“I didn’t put any magical protections in place here.”

My brows knitted together, confusion and concern rising in equal measure. A sinking feeling hit me.

“What do you mean? This is your sanctuary, your escape. Why wouldn’t you safeguard it?”

He hesitated, then sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Because... I’ve never been formally taught magic.”