Chapter 68

violet

Theodore’s confession left me stunned. The weight of his words settled between us. I stared at him, waiting for the punchline or some indication he was joking, but none came.

The guilt punched the breath out of me.

“Oh, Goddess, Theo', I…"

He shook his head. "Don't apologize."

Yet, the pain in his expression was enough to bring tears to my eyes. I could barely breathe around it, imagining him growing up with this whole other part of himself he didn't understand and couldn't freely learn about in the country.

He fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable with the silence. He cleared his throat.

"But please, go on. I love… I love the way you sound so excited about it all." His eyes darted away from mine as if searching for the right words. "I, uhm,… You should---"

He huffed and walked towards me. "We'll pick up the tour of the garden later, hm? Let's just… take a seat. I'm sure you could use a break after all that walking. You're still recovering after all."

Before I could respond, he gently took my hand and led me away from the little patch of blooms and onto the narrow path that wound its way around the back to a secluded lakeside cabin. The lake was placid, but thrumming with energy. I bet he swam in it often and had no idea why it calmed him.

There was a magical current beneath the surface.

Did he even know what that was?

The air grew cooler. The day was fading. I could see the lights starting to bloom in the trees. The sound of the forests grew softer and the lake began to move as the fish that lived within it began to wake and stir. Only the gentle lapping of water against the shore and the rustling of leaves filled the space around us. I sat where he directed, watching him busy himself and avoid looking at me. I didn't push, but I didn't need to. His stiffness was screaming the answers to questions I didn't think were right to ask.

Not right now.

Theodore moved swiftly, piling chopped wood and setting it on fire with a flick of his wrist. The wood caught and the fire leapt to life, casting a warm, flickering glow that danced across his features. He fiddled with the small fire pit, before slowly coming to sit beside me on the back porch of the cabin.

He bounced his knee, and I set a hand on his knee.

“It's okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” I began softly, trying to ease the tension I could feel radiating from him. “But if you do, I’m here.”

He hesitated, his gaze focused on the flames. He opened his mouth several times before sighing. He sounded so weary. I drew closer, slipping my arm around his and my hand into his. He interlaced our fingers and closed his eyes.

“My mother… she warned me. Told me to keep my magic hidden, to never let anyone know the truth about what I can do.” His voice wavered. “You know there are laws in this country against people with magic, especially wolves. Men like me would be tossed into the temple or exiled at best.”

I nodded.

He sighed again, looking up and letting out a heavy breath.

"Did you ever think to leave?"

"A million times," he said, chuckling wryly. "I thought plenty of times of going to her home country, but…" His lips twitched. "My father was alive and kept a close eye on me. The borders were practically shut down until he died and she never told me much about it."

He shook his head. "I don't even speak the language… Not a single word."

I bit my lip. My eyes burning with tears. It was my second language. I could read and write it, correspond with her family and everything in between. I even had bank account and investments there.

"I'm not angry at her. She made a choice to protect me. She was always careful, too afraid that we were being watched… I can say for sure that her efforts paid off and she was absolutely right that we were being watched. She was smart, but her caution meant I was left to figure things out on my own. The bit of magic I know I learned relying solely on instinct. I fumbled around with it in private... mostly here in Midnight."

I smothered the wounded sound that wanted to escape me. I felt terrible and angry. I felt guilt and horrified.

To have only had a few years of being able to start to figure out such a large part of yourself…

"It's not mating drive, is it?"

He scoffed. "Oh, it's that…. But not just that."

"I'm… I'm so sorry." I said. "All this time, I thought… I thought you were just running from being like your father because of your mother, but you've been… trying to protect yourself the only way you've been shown."

The issue was that the laws were the nicest result. If things were even remotely different, he'd have been exploited or manipulated, maybe even killed. The populace feared magic because of rumors about the royal family being cursed, about enchantments changing the very shape of our country. Magical technology was only allowed because it serves a purpose, and even then, it wasn't innovated at all.

He glanced at me. "Sorry to… burst your bubble."

"You have not reason to apologize to me, Theo', and… and you have my word, that your secret is safe with me."

I wiped my face, shaking my head. I pulled back. He ween still, wary, but I lifted up and slipped into his lap. He shuddered and wrapped his arms around me, practically crushing me to his chest.

"It's… damn sexy that you're so capable."

He laughed. It sounded watery and tremble.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…. And I want to kill your father." He threw his head back and laugh. "I didn't think I could hate him more than I hate Owen or Lucas, but I do."

He met my gaze, his eyes warm as he laughed. "It's not appropriate to hate a dead man you never met."

"I have met him," I said. "And you can't stop me."

I stroked his face and ran my hand through his hair.

"One day, I'm going to take you there."

His eyes widened. He looked so hopeful, so young and vulnerable, it broke my heart.

"I'll give you a proper tour…" I said. "Make you try every dish… Take you to every monument."

His eyes started to glow and turn glossy.

"We'll find where she's from and go… Look up her registration and see if you have family."

"Violet…" He said breathlessly.

"You shouldn't be denied half of who you are out of fear…" I paused. "He's dead, and while he wasn't man enough or king enough to do anything for you, I'm certainly woman enough… wife enough to."

He bit his lip and looked away shaking his head. "For fuck's sake, Violet…"

"What?"

"You're never going to be rid of me at this rate."

I smirked and tapped the glowing band on his forehead. "This says I won't ever."

He turned and kissed my palm as I cupped his face. I leaned into him, my fingers brushing against his jawline as I studied the flickering emotions in his eyes.

His arms came around me, holding me tighter, and he rested his forehead against mine.

“Thank you,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

“I think I have some idea.” I smiled, tilting my head back to look at him fully. “Now, about this honeymoon experience...”

He arched a brow, a hint of a smirk curling at his lips. “What about it?”

I grinned. “You wanted the full experience, right? Should we start hunting for dinner?"

Theodore’s eyes lit up with a glint of mischief. “I like the sound of it.” His smile faltered. "But… Are you sure? In… your wedding gown?"

I scoffed. "You decided to bring me out here in it… and if you want to keep it in one piece then… give me your shirt."

He licked his lips. "That sounds much sexier than I think you mean for it to."

“I’ll admit,” I said, resting my head against his shoulder, “I didn’t go hunting with Lucas when we got married.”

His smirk widened into a grin, all sharp teeth and teasing confidence. “He wouldn’t have been able to keep up anyway.”

“Oh? And you think you can?”

“Absolutely,” he said without hesitation, his tone challenging.

I narrowed my eyes playfully. “Big words. Are sure you can keep up, Alpha?"

He growled, the sound of it was deep with pleasure and rumbled though his whole body. His eyes flashed and all the darkness that had been in his eyes, the sadness and grief, were all gone.

“Try me, Luna.”