Chapter 8 Never Have I Ever

The Vipers won. The stadium had been a storm of cheering, and the energy followed us back to the beach. A massive bonfire was roaring in the sand, throwing orange sparks into the salty night air.

Everyone was there. The players were still buzzing from the win, the cheerleaders were dancing to music from a portable speaker, and half the senior class was crowded around the flames.

"To the Vipers!" Cooper shouted, lifting a red plastic cup. A roar of agreement went up around the circle.

I sat on a log, huddled in my jacket. Chloe was next to me, her face glowing in the firelight.

Across the circle, the team was huddled together. Leo sat in the center but his eyes were quiet. He hadn't said much since the jersey incident.

Jaxson was sitting on the sand, leaning back on his elbows. He had his hood up, but I could see his eyes tracking my every move. He looked restless, like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Okay, okay! Game time!" Sarah, the head cheerleader, yelled. She sat down in the sand and gestured for everyone to join the circle. "Let’s play Never Have I Ever. You know the rules. If you’ve done it, you drink."

A groan went up, but everyone leaned in. It started easy.

"Never have I ever... skipped a morning practice," Sarah said, looking at the rookies.

Half the freshmen drank, laughing. Leo didn't move. He was the perfect captain.

"Never have I ever... kissed someone in this circle," Cooper added with a wink.

A lot of people drank. Chloe nudged me with her shoulder, but I kept my hands wrapped around my cold soda. I looked at Jaxson. He was staring at the fire, his cup resting on his knee. He didn't drink. Neither did I.

The game went on. The questions got deeper as the fire burned lower. The laughter got louder, but the air between me and Jaxson felt heavy. It felt like a physical weight pressing on my chest.

"My turn," said a player named Marcus. He was a junior defenseman who always tried to act tougher than he was. He looked at Jaxson, then at me, with a strange smile. ""Never have I ever fallen for someone who is completely off-limits. Like, 'ruin-your-career' forbidden."

The circle went silent. The laughter died down. My heart hammered against my ribs. I stared at the flames, praying my face wasn't as red as I felt.

My heart stopped. I felt the blood rush to my face. I stared at Marcus, wondering if he knew.

Did he see us in the kitchen? Did he see us in the training room?

I looked at my cup. I didn't move. I couldn't. If I drank, I was admitting it to the whole school. If I didn't, I was a liar.

Then, I saw a movement.

Jaxson didn't hesitate. He didn't look at Marcus. He didn't look at Leo. He lifted his cup and took a long, slow drink.

The silence turned into a collective Ooh! from the crowd.

"The rookie has a secret!" Cooper teased, shoving Jaxson's shoulder. "Who is she, Miller? A coach’s daughter? A rival's girlfriend?."

Jaxson lowered his cup. His jaw was set tight. He didn't answer Cooper. Instead, he looked directly across the fire at me. His eyes were dark and honest. He wasn't hiding it anymore, at least, not from me. He was telling me, right in front of everyone, that he was done pretending he didn't want me.

I gripped my cup so hard the plastic crunched. I didn't drink. I couldn't. I felt Leo’s gaze shift from Jaxson to me. My brother’s face was a mask of cold stone. He was watching the way our eyes were locked. He was putting the pieces together, one by one.

"Enough of that," Leo said, his voice cold. "Let's change the game. Truth or Dare. Let's keep it moving."

The bottle spun in the sand. It landed on Hannah, the head cheerleader. She chose Dare.

"I dare you," Sarah said, her eyes gleaming, "to kiss the MVP of tonight's game. Full contact. Five seconds."

The MVP was Jaxson. He had scored the winning goal in the final minute.

My stomach dropped. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I sat perfectly still, my hands clenched in my lap. I couldn't react. I couldn't scream.

Hannah stood up, smoothing her skirt. She walked over to Jaxson. He stayed sitting in the sand, his face a mask of boredom. He didn't look at me. He didn't look at anyone.

Hannah leaned down. She put her hands on his shoulders and pressed her lips to his.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

The team cheered and whistled. I watched them, my eyes burning. I didn't blink. I didn't move a single muscle. Inside, I felt like I was breaking into a thousand pieces. I wanted to stand up and pull her away.

But I stayed silent. I forced a small, fake smile onto my face, just like I was supposed to.

When Hannah pulled away, she was blushing. Jaxson just wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked up, and for a split second, our eyes met. He looked devastated. He looked like he wanted to apologize, but he couldn't.

I stood up, my legs feeling like lead.

"I think I'm done for the night. I'm heading back." I muttered directly to Leo as Chloe scrambled up behind me looking confused.

I walked toward the parking lot with Chloe, the sound of the party fading behind me. I didn't look back. I couldn't bear to see Jaxson sitting there while other girls hovered around him.

We reached the car, and Chloe started the engine. "You okay, El? You went really quiet back there."

"Just tired," I lied.

As we drove away, my phone buzzed. I expected a text from Jaxson. I expected him to tell me it meant nothing.

But it wasn't from him.