Chapter 5 Brotherly Concern

AMELIA

"No offense, " Jason claims, bringing his hands up as if in surrender. "I just think you look...different from the others. That's all. All the ones he sent were 30 trying to pass as 22. You look like an inoffensive baby. Again, I don't mean to offend you. I'm just showing you...call it brotherly concern."

Devon didn't tell me anything about talking about the mission with this guy, but maybe I should trust him. He's on our side, right? "I'm here to get a name."

He nods slowly. "Yeah. So am I. The question is what makes you think you'll get it?"

I have no way of answering this question because I don't know myself. It's all so very...new to me. Being here is the most surreal experience ever and I think reality hasn't sunk in yet for me. That I'm here, so far away from home, in a place that will be crawling with dangerous people.

It's worrying, but again, I gave to trust Devon and his decision to bring me here.

"I've been here for a year and I haven't found out shit," Jason says, filling the silence. "Believe me, that name may cost you your life. Did Devon tell you that four agents died trying to find out who this person is?" 

He can tell by the way my expression changes that I had no idea. So this is what he's been hiding? Why wouldn't he tell me this? 

Jason continues. "Of course, he didn't. Just don't try too hard. That's my advice to you. And don't be too eager. If the time comes, let the name come to you. Do you get what I mean? There's no use trying to force things because you're of no use to us if you're dead, okay? Like the other girls are of no use to us anymore. Now look, we don't ever talk about our mission, and since we're 'cousins' my life is on the line now, too. If you get caught, I'm gonna get shot with you. We'll both be in the gutter before we can even blink. So, for God's sake, kid, don't get yourself killed, alright?"

We drive for some time, and everything he told me sinks in. I didn't have all this information when I made my decision and I wonder if this is why he was so hesitant and constantly asking me if I was sure. Hell, who am I kidding? Of course this is why. If he'd told me, I would've taken some time to think things through, at least. 

I wouldn't have been so hasty. It was too good to be true.  

Devon deceived me, in a way. But I'm here now and there's no turning back, and none of this will sway my decision. If Jason managed to stay here for a year, it can't be that dangerous. Not that I think he's not a capable spy-it's just that I'll keep his advice in mind and try to remain as calm as possible. 

It can't be that hard, serving drinks and keeping my ears open.

Don't do toon much. Don't be too eager. 

My new motto. 

We stop in front of an apartment building. It's pretty nondescript and standard. "I live here, so you'll be living with me. You're my fucking cousin after all. We stick together now." After a beat, he curses beneath his breath, letting his frustration and displeasure with the situation show. "Fucking Devon."

I try not to let his anger get to me because he's in his right. I could condemn him, and hell, nobody wants to die. Back to the apartment, the whole place smells like rot but I shouldn't complain. This will be my new home for now. He carries my suitcase and when we get inside his apartment, I realize it's pretty small. It makes me nervous, having to live with a strange man I've just met. But Jason, or whatever his real name is, seems trustworthy. I'll just have to trust him, and Devon. I no longer have a choice. It's too late to turn back now. 

"You sleep in the smaller bedroom." He hands me my suitcase. I peer inside. Everything looks neat, and the bed is made. When I sit on it, it creaks. The bedroom is small and stuffy, but when I open the small window to let some air in, the heat becomes tolerable. I wasn't prepared for the heat. There are no cupboards anywhere, so my clothes will have to remain in my suitcase. I don't have to pack anything. 

Jason knocks on the door and opens it. "Are you ready?"

"Why? Where are we going?"

He taps at the watch on his wrist. "Your shift is in an hour. You'll get a uniform when you get there but change into something more presentable." He gestures at the old t-shirt and worn jeans. The dirty sneakers too, I guess. "And do your hair. We're leaving in 20."

I don't own presentable clothes but there's the Sunday dress. It's black and plain, but it's something. Maybe I'll have to get new clothes but I don't think the money I have with me will be enough. I wear some sandals and I brush my hair out. For makeup, I apply some gloss and eyeliner. There isn't time for anything else. He knocks on my door again and gives me a once-over.

"God, you really are a town girl, aren't you?" I follow him out of the apartment. He locks the door behind him.

I say, "This is the best dress I have." 

I feel terrible now, but at least I'll change out of this. I notice that he's changed into a black suit and his shoes are shiny. He looks like he's going to a wedding. I guess wherever we're going is a really fancy place. Devon did say that.

"I'll talk to Devon. You need a change of wardrobe, and fast." He stares at my sandals and shakes his head. "Fucking hell, man."