Chapter 5 FIVE

[KIRA]

Is it possible to stop breathing for three whole minutes and still be alive? Because that's what I think is happening to me right now.

The universe hates me.

That's the only logical explanation as to what's happening right now, because why the hell is Chiara hugging the man I slept with last night?

Chiara turns with a smile so bright, it rivals the sun. “Kira, this is my brother, Ryat. Ryat Vitale.”

The earth shakes beneath my feet, my feet tremble and I'm thankful I'm seated else I'd have definitely collapsed to the floor.

Ryat Vitale…my best friend's brother…the man I fucked last night.

That's the man I'm supposed to kill?

Someone, kill me already.

Ryat offers me a smile like he doesn't recognize me, and though I really wish for that to be the case, I know better. He definitely recognizes me and I'll be grateful as fuck if he doesn't rat me out to Chiara or better still shoot me in the head.

I've never been this nervous.

“Kira," my mane rolls off his tongue, slowly. It's almost like he's testing how it feels on his tongue. “It's a pleasure to have you in my home. Chiara has told me a lot about you."

I force myself to offer a polite smile as I rise up to my feet. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Vitale."

He nods, and returns his attention to his sister, completely dismissing me. Chiara chatters nonstop, and the only thing he does is listen, smiles and responds when needed.

The sight reminds me of Kirian and I. It seems like a lifetime since I enjoyed that kind of attention, even though it was just days ago. I remember him telling me not to go.

His exact words were, “ You don't need father's approval to be a part of us."

I know he's right, but some part of me still wants it, that approval. A childish, insecure part of me still wants my father to look at me with the same love and admiration that he reserves for them. I want him to feel like I'm not just a disgrace but someone worth his time, love and investment. I want my place in the family Mafia.

The day passes in a blur of going to the university, verifying applications and other stuff. By the time we get home it's already late and the only thing thing I can think of is going to bed

~~~

I let out a sleepy groan when the ringing of my phone interrupts my sleep. I turn around in bed trying to ignore it, but no matter what I do, I can't tune out the ringing.

With eyes still closed, I touch around my bed for my phone. After what feels like hours, I finally lay my hand on it.

I answer it instantly, not bothering to check the caller ID

"What?" I groan, my eyes barely staying open.

"Baby? Did I wake you?" My mom's voice fills my head and my eyes snap open. I pull the phone from my ear to check the caller ID. It is definitely my mother.

"Kinda. But why are you still up?" I ask sitting up. It should be 1:00 am in New York and she should be asleep. Did she and father have another fight? If so, was she hurt?

"Stop worrying about me silly. I have your brothers here in case of anything.” She interrupts my thoughts, reading my mind. " I just missed you so much and I couldn't sleep.”

I let out a soft sigh. "Oh Mom, I miss you too. I'll try to complete this mission quickly so I can come home,” I promise her.

However, her silence tells me she's far from convinced. "Go back to sleep Mom. It's late.”

"I'm worried about you Kira.”Her voice instantly softens and I let out another sigh. I don't want her to worry about me. I don't want anyone to worry about me.

"Mom, get some rest. We'll talk later. I promise.” Before she can say something else I hang up and drop my phone on the bed. She's supposed to be focused on her health, not worrying about me.

“Never rely on anyone but yourself.” That's what Father always said to the boys.

Growing up, I was never included in their training.

However, I always hid by the corner and watched them. I listened to every lecture he gave them and imprinted it in my memory.

His words are still the principles I live by. One day he'll see how capable I am to be called a Hernandez. I already have my target at my disposal. The only problem now is he's my best friend's brother, and the man I fucked two days ago.

He hasn't said anything about it so I'm hoping he probably doesn't remember me, but a huge part of me knows it's a lie.

How the fuck I'm I supposed to make father proud without betraying my best friend?

“You can't always please everyone. Just do what makes you happy.” My mamma's voice rings in my ears

I miss her so much, and even though that idiot called Michael has forgotten about her, I'll never. She'll always be in my heart no matter who I become.

I go down from the bed and head over to the bathroom. I brush my teeth and wash my face. Next, I tidy up my hair before heading downstairs. I make my way to the kitchen and I'm greeted with the sight of Martita cooking.

"Good morning,” I greet walking up to the counter and leaning against it.

"Oh! Good morning Kira. Hope you slept well?" She asks.

I smile. "Yh I did. Can I help you with something?" I offer and she looks at me for a while.

"Yes. You can fix the vegetables She motions to the kitchen island. I nod and get to work. We fall into a comfortable silence as we work. The scene reminds me a lot of my Mamma. We would always prepare meals together, while discussing random things.

Moving into the Hernandez mansion changed things for me. I still cooked but that was because father made me earn my stay in his house. Sometimes I wish I never met my father. I wish Mamma just kept my existence a secret because now I want the approval he's only willing to give me at the cost of someone's life, and my best friend's trust.

"God I'm hungry.”Chiara comes in yawning. It's obvious she just got out of bed since her hair is held in a messy bun and she's still in her nightwear. She's hugging a pink teddy close to her chest and her lips are fixed in a pout.

"Breakfast will soon be ready, Amore mio . But first you go upstairs and look like a human being,” Martita replies and I choke back a laugh.

I feel her walk up to me and wrap her arms around my waist, resting her head on my back. "Good morning Kira,” she murmurs and I turn to face her.

"Good morning fuzzball,” I say, pinching her cheeks. She rolls her eyes at the nickname and I shake my head. No matter how she hates the nickname she'll always be my little fuzzball.

"Can you do me a favor Kira?" Martita asks and I turn to face her. She is holding a cup of coffee in her hand.

"Can you take this to Ryat? He's in his office.”

I stare at the cup in her hands and then her face. I don't want to go to his office . I don't want to be around him as a matter of fact. I still haven't decided if I'm going to kill him or not yet. I'm still torn between loyalty to my friend and my father.

“The Mafia is your life. Your full loyalty belongs to it and no one else.” Father's voice rings out in my ear.

I shake my head to get it out of my mind. I don't want to let him down even though he's never cared about what I do.

However Chiara is not only my best friend, she is like a sister. I can't stomach the thought of betraying her.

"Earth to Kira.” Chiara yells in my ear and I flinch. "Stop thinking about whatever you are thinking about.”

"Sorry I just zoned out,” I say, more to Martita than to my annoying best friend. "Let me have it.” reach out and take the cup from her.

"His office is on the third floor. Last room at the end of the corridor. Take the elevator,” she directs and I nod. I turn and head out of the kitchen and make my way to the elevator.

I shouldn't be scared to face him. If I'm going to kill him then a simple conversation with him shouldn't scare me. But it does.

I press the button for the third floor and lean against the wall waiting for it to go up. I shut my eyes and wait patiently. Soon the 'ding' is heard and the door opens.

I step out of it and make my way down the hallway as Martita instructed. When I get to the last door, I raise my hand to knock.

However, the door swings open before my hand even touches the wood. A blonde rushes out of the office. She pauses on seeing me, and her tear stained face twists in disgust.

I let my eyes run over her body. She's a blue eyed blonde, barely dressed. She holds her heels and bra in one hand and her clutch in another. She has a wound on her arm from which blood pours out slowly.

She turns to look inside the office, and I follow her gaze to the man seated behind the desk, his attention fixed on his laptop.

"Is that it, Ryat? Is that why you don't want me? Because you found yourself a new plaything?" She asks, anger laced in her pretty voice.

She keeps on staring at Ryat for a while, obviously expecting an answer. When it becomes evident he has no intention of answering her, she storms off.

Who the hell is she?

From her lack of clothes I don't need a soothsayer to tell me they had been fucking, or she came with that intention. She makes it sound like they've had something going on for a while now, and suddenly he isn't interested in her any longer. Urgh!

He has a girlfriend or whatever she is and still went ahead to fuck me?

"It's either you come in or you shut the door and get out.” His voice fills my head pulling me out of my thoughts. I nod and step inside the luxurious office.

With shaky legs, I head over to the table and drop the coffee on it before turning around. I am about to walk away when his voice stops me.

“How long have you known my sister? Did you know she was my sister before you let me fuck you?”

I'm a bit taken aback by the question. What if he knows already? What did I tell him that night? Oh God, I'm really screwed.

I swallow an invisible lump and take in a deep breath. “Since middle school, Mr Vitale. And no, I had no idea you were her brother. I was drunk and probably don't remember most of what happened.”

He stares at me for a while. His gaze is so intense, I feel like he can see my hidden secrets. I fight the urge to look away. Mamma always told me looking away makes you look weak and vulnerable.

“You are weak and vulnerable. He can kill you whenever he likes,” a voice whispers in my head.

I shut that annoying voice in my head and square my shoulders. “Anything else?”

“Keep what happened between us a secret. I was drunk and probably don't remember most of what happened so not a word to my sister."

“Roger."

“Good, you can leave.”

It takes all of my courage not to run out of his office.

If intimidating could be a person, it'd be Ryat.