Chapter 188

“I have come to have the conversations with you that you so long to have,” the moon goddess confirmed. “For the time being, no one will bother us. So, you need to worry about that.”

“Thank you. Oh, goddess—”

“Please,” she said, “call me by my name.”

“Your name?” I asked.

“Feray.

“I couldn’t possibly. That’s too informal,” I stammered in response.

“It is my proper title. I have another name that the gods refer to me by. So, you are not calling me anything divine. Simply the name that a mother goddess wishes to have her chosen child call her by.”

“Chosen?” I asked.

“Yes, chosen, my dear, and blessed personally by me. You have a hard road ahead of you, and you have gotten no guidance, particularly not from a mother. It’s time that I stepped in and gave you some.”

A contradictory emotion bubbled up in me. Surprisingly, because it was anger, I was extremely mad at the goddess.

“So, I am your chosen one, and you’re going to guide me like a mother?” I asked, clarifying.

“Yes,” she confirmed.

That anger hit the back of my throat and burst out in words. “Then why?” I demanded. “Why would you leave your chosen daughter to grow up as an orphan? Why would you abandon me without a scent that people recognized? To be laughed at and ridiculed?”

Soft patience covered her face. “It is not the job of the chosen ones of the gods to be comfortable,” she explained. “And while I am sorry that life has been difficult for you, that was the way that my plan needed to be laid out.”

“You can be angry with me if you wish,” Feray’s tone was stern and maternal, “but you cannot change the unfolding of fate.”

I bit my lip on more irritation. She had a point, and anger wasn’t going to help me in any way. Wasn’t this what I wanted? Didn’t I specifically ask for her advice?

No matter how much it hurt that I had to be abandoned to fulfill my fate, I suppose it was better late than never. And she was here now.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend. It was just such a shock to hear that I was deliberately made an orphan. But I’ll trust you. I mean, I do trust you. After all, if I’d been with a different family, I might not have met Charles and ended up where I am.”

Feray smiled at me. “That is the correct attitude, my daughter. And as for you being scentless, you already know that you are not.”

“Then why can only some people smell me? It’s such an important part of our society, and it’s put me at a huge disadvantage.”

“I gifted you your scent personally,” the goddess said. “But circumstances at your birth required that my true goal for you and your scent stay a secret until the time was right.”

She lay a motherly hand on my head. “It was important for your safety that your scent be suppressed from any except those who cared most about you.”

“You mean, only people who care most about me can smell me? But, some people smell me or say they smell it when they first meet me. How can they care most about me if we’ve just met? What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense.”

“The people you’re thinking of will care deeply for you in good time,” she promised. “Think of your scent like love at first sight. You and your scent were my gift to Orlune. You are made to spread peace, both through your smell and through the way that you spread truth.”

“But you, of all people, should know how truths work. There is a time when people will accept them and times when people will fight against them. When you were born, they would have struggled with the truth you brought. So, I’ve had to protect my gift up until this point. And I’m sorry that it was hard on you.”

Feray smiled lovingly at me. “But I also know that I gave you the strength to persevere.”

“Well, I’m determined to persevere,” I said. “I don’t know about being a gift of peace or anything like that, but I intend to continue down this path that I’ve started. And you said that it is the correct one, but I could really use some help. I’m kind of at a dead end. You’ve sent me so many trials in life. Please don’t leave me struggling here.”

“For once, my daughter, it is within my power to give you a direct answer to your question. You must find the late Queen’s doctor. From there, everything else will fall into place.”

“Where do I find him?” I asked.

To my dismay, her form had already started to fade. “You’re not leaving me already? Please, Feray, don’t go.”

“You can do this, my daughter,” she assured me.

Fear of being abandoned welled up in my chest, making it hard to breathe. “Wait. Please don’t leave me.” But it was too late. She was already gone.

I hurried over to meet Theo. Now that the goddess was gone, I could see that he was standing right beside the door and in the same place that I remembered him before she’d shown up.

“You won’t believe it,” I gushed as I arrived at his side. “I just had a conversation with the goddess. In person. She even asked me to call her by name.”

“Was it helpful?” he asked.

“Very… I think.”

Theo chuckled. “I’m not entirely sure what that means.”

“It means that she was far less cryptic than she usually is.” I pressed my lips together. “But not completely forthcoming, either. I mean, she didn’t lay out exactly what I had to do. But she definitely helped. At the very least, I know who I need to start looking for, and that’s way more than I had before I spoke with the moon goddess.”

“Then that’s good, I suppose. Should we grab something to eat and then head back to the hotel?”

“I think that’s definitely the plan.”

I buzzed all the way back, riding the high of talking with a goddess. I couldn’t wait to share all this with Charles. Well, not the ridiculous part about my scent bringing on world peace. How dumb was that? But the conversation and my lead to the doctor were definitely newsworthy.

By the time Charles returned to the hotel, I was feeling mildly discouraged. I’d been on my computer for hours, and I hadn’t found any leads on where to find this doctor. I was pretty sure that I was going to have to have Charles take me to the Alpha Archives again in order to get his name and start tracking him from there.

He walked into the hotel room looking exhausted, David trailing behind him.

“How did the visit when your mother go?” I asked.

“Tiring,” he admitted. “She’s trying to be helpful, but being involved with you is like being on a business rollercoaster. One minute you’re up, the next, you’re down. And it’s whipping my business and stocks around.”

He made a face. “To try to lock it down, Mother’s suggestion was that we make things official and announce an engagement.”

“When?” I asked.

“As soon as possible,” he said. “She’d like to make the Sunday gossip columns.”

“We might be able to make a deadline that tight,” I said. “The only thing we don’t have is an official engagement photo.”

He shrugged. “David already volunteered to take a picture and then run it through an editing program until it looks however we wanted. Nothing wrong with using a little technology to help out from time to time.”

“I guess not.” I swallowed hard, and my stomach churned uncomfortably. “Are we doing this then?”