Chapter 39

I took Cathy's advice and buried my head in my work that morning, trying every ten minutes to fight the urge to speculate what went on the night before.

When lunch came I went up in the elevator, smoothing my hair and my skirt. I was nervous to see Charles.

This is ridiculous, I thought. What was I expecting to happen? Nothing would be different.

Amy and Jessica were already gone, and as I walked in he turned from where he was standing at the window, looking out over the city with his cellphone in hand.

He smiled and waved me in as he finished his call.

I tried to read something, anything, into his expression, but nothing seemed different. He didn't even seem more tired or reveal so much as an extra crease in his trousers that revealed he'd slept anywhere abnormal.

I saw down on the couch feeling ridiculous. I must have dreamed it. And if there weren't cupcake tins in the drying rack then I'd have assumed I dreamed the entire evening.

"Hey," he said when he hung up the phone. "What do you think about deli sandwiches?"

"I'm in," I say.

"Great. I'm sorry I fell asleep," he said. "I hope I didn't snore."

I was surprised and pleased. At least I hadn't hallucinated it.

"No problem."

I waited for more but he continued on, "Chips or pasta salad as your side?"

"Uh, pasta salad, please."

He asked about my news story, and I did my best to respond. I kept getting distracted by remembering the feeling of his body on mine.

I left for the afternoon's work in a worse emotional state than when I arrived.

I had dreamed him into my bed. What did it say about my feelings? What did it matter, since I couldn't act on them anyway?

I managed to eek out a little more prose before I gave up and began to pace the cubicles.

"Doing okay?" Kevin asked after I went by the third time.

"Yes, thanks," I said, smiling and continuing on. I went a few paces and looked back. Kevin was still looking at me and I felt a jolt of recognition. It was a look of wanting.

How was it possible? I thought.

I had been made to think I was unextraordinary, but Kevin seemed a decent person, and Charles... Well, Charles didn't really want me, he wanted my scent.

I looked back again and Kevin was no longer watching me, but it still shook me slightly.

By the evening I had worked myself up and needed to take a few deep breaths before going up for the evening. All was normal, and I wanted that to be fine with me.

Amy was at her desk when I arrived, and the door was closed.

"He should be done any moment now," she said, smiling at me. "Have a seat and chat with me. Want some coffee?"

I realized I hadn't had my afternoon cup and suddenly felt exhausted. "Oh my goodness, yes, but I can get it. I know where it is."

"Nonsense," Amy stood to go. "I'm getting one for me too."

"Thank you."

She walked out as Jessica was walking back in. She was still a little slower than normal, her face slightly thin and there were dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm so glad you're back, Jessica," I said.

She looked at me blankly and the continued past me to her desk. We sat in silence for a moment, her tapping away at her keyboard when suddenly she stopped and looked up at me.

"I know what you're up to," she said, glaring at me with her hollow, dark eyes. "I see your scheme."

Part of me thought that I should ignore her. I should pick up my phone and pretend to write an email.

The other part of me felt bad for her. She was obviously in pain and unhappy.

"I'm sorry, Jessica. I don't know what you mean, and I'm worried that you're making yourself upset when you should be relaxing and healing."

She glared at me. "You are stealing him from us."

"Who? Charles? No one can steal Charles from this place. It's his world."

"You are distracting him."

"I'm not doing this for my pleasure, you know."

As the words come out I realized they were disingenuous. I'd become used to our meals together, had started looking forward to them. If he stopped them now and declared me free I would be sad.

"You're up to something, Elena."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, but I'll find out. You and your unusual scent." She said unusual like she was a whiny child, and I tried not to bristle. "It sounds like a lot of hot air to me."

"Do you smell anything when I'm around?" I asked, curious.

"Just a load of crap."

"Wow." I'd had enough. I picked up my phone and started to check my email.

"You seem all sweet and innocent, but I know you have bad intentions, and I'm going to expose you for what you are, Elena."

I looked up at her briefly over the phone's screen.

"Go for it. You'll find out I'm the most boring human alive except for when I'm writing a story I care about."

"About that story..." Jessica began, but cut herself off as Amy came back carrying our two coffees.

"I could hear you in the breakroom, Jessica," she said. "You need to calm down or you'll get your blood pressure back up.

She handed me a coffee with a wink.

"Thank you, Amy."

"Go ahead," Jessica muttered, typing and starting into her screen. "Suck up to her."

Amy sighed and looked at me with a shrug. I shrugged back.

After a few sips Charles' office door opened and I could hear his and a merry female voice.

Matilda stopped out of the office. Her face was glowing as she looked behind her at Charles.

"I think it's going to work out just fine," Charles said kindly, and Matilda flushed. She looked suddenly shy and held out a hand to him.

He took it and bowed slightly. Matilda flushed deeper.

I felt my brows knit and then forced myself to smile as Matilda turned. She smiled at Amy and then saw me.

"Elena!" she said, beaming. "What are you doing here?"

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. A horrible sinking feeling was filling my belly. I recognized it instantly.

It was jealousy. But I had no right to be jealous.

I gathered myself and stood to great her. "I have a meeting with Charles, too. What about you?"

She looked at Charles and to my horror, he winked at her.

"I'll only talk when you are ready," he said to her.

He looked at me with a mischievous grin. I felt stupid. Something was going on and I had no right to ask or to feel the way I was.

Surely nothing would be going on with Charles and Matilda. He was the boss after all, and I would have smelled her on him if there was.

Matilda hesitated. "Maybe until I'm sure," she said to him.

"Then I think it's confidential for now," Charles said to the rest of us.

"But you'll be the first to know, Elena." Matilda smiled again, looking like the sun had come out behind her eyes.

It was the look of a woman who had found love.