Chapter 5 CHAPTER 4

Katherine Garcia

Two Years Later

My life took a different turn when I moved back in with my parents. I was welcomed with open arms, both by them and by the friends I'd kept over the years. Knowing I wasn't alone brought me some relief, although it wasn't enough to prevent the downward spiral that came afterward.

Depression crept in silently and stayed longer than I'd like to admit. I suffered deeply because of the end of my marriage, but little by little, I began to rebuild myself. It wasn't quick. It wasn't easy. Still, it happened.

I went back to using my maiden name and decided to change some of my habits. During my marriage, my weight had reached two hundred pounds. In the months of deep sadness that followed, I lost a few pounds without even realizing it. Today, I weigh one hundred and eighty-seven. I'm still above what society considers ideal, but I no longer punish myself for it.

I discovered something important during that time: I enjoy being around children. I started taking care of my friends' children while they worked. At first, it was simply a way to help. Then, it became a refuge. Since I didn't have a steady job, spending so much time with them sparked an idea that changed everything: working as a nanny.

With their help, I found a specialized agency. Over the past two years, I've worked in several homes, staying for a few months at each one. I've always done my job with dedication.

Competence was never the problem. On more than one occasion, I was let go because the children started calling me "Mommy." Their mothers didn't like it. I understood their discomfort, but that didn't make being fired any less painful.

For a long time, I avoided looking in the mirror. Today, the image staring back at me is different. I see my Black skin, my thick, wavy hair, and my light brown eyes. I recognize the curves of my body, my full breasts, strong legs, and defined hips, and for the first time, I don't feel ashamed. I've learned to like who I am.

I still have setbacks. It happens. I haven't been involved with anyone in these past two years. The fear of being replaced again, of being compared to someone thinner or considered more beautiful, still weighs on me. I'm twenty-five years old, and I know I could enjoy life more, but the trauma creates boundaries I can't always overcome.

Work has become my focus. Being a nanny fills a void that's difficult to explain. Since I can't be a mother, taking care of children soothes my heart. When some of them started calling me "Mommy," I cried in secret. I'd always longed to hear that word directed at me.

The tests confirmed what I already suspected: I'm infertile. Accepting that truth still hurts. It's a wound that never completely heals.

Today, however, I'm on my way to a new interview. The Valerius family is well known in Veridian Bay and beyond. Considered one of the most powerful families in the country, they attract curiosity and speculation. The position is at the home of the eldest son, Mr. Alaric Valerius.

An influential, private businessman, he's constantly named as one of the most desirable men in the world. Many women have tried to get close to him. None of them stayed.

There's also a brother who is rarely mentioned. I don't follow newspapers or gossip sites, so I only know the basics. Maybe I'll have the chance to meet them today.

They say they're incredibly handsome. I wouldn't know.

Alaric is thirty-nine years old. His brother is thirty-eight. That's what a friend told me. There's hardly any information about the younger one. It's as if he's always stayed out of the spotlight.

Anyway, nervousness follows my every step. I haven't been able to find steady work for a month. A friend was the one who found the ad in the newspaper: the family urgently needed a nanny. I sent in my résumé without expecting much. Receiving the email confirming the interview brought an unexpected sense of relief.

I'm proud of the changes I've made. I work in a field I enjoy, and I've built emotional independence. Even so, there's an absence that's difficult to ignore. Someone is missing. I miss being desired. I miss feeling like I'm being chosen.

Above all, I miss love.

A love that sees me exactly as I am.

Maybe that will never happen.

But for now, I keep moving forward.

[…]

"Kath, are you ready?" Amanda asks as she walks into the bedroom.

"Yes... I'm just checking my bag one more time."

She rolls her eyes impatiently.

"You already did that yesterday. Try to calm down."

I let out a long sigh, unable to do as she says.

"I can't, Amanda. I'm going to an interview at Mr. Valerius's house. He's the most desirable businessman in the world. There must be a lot of people competing for this position." My voice comes out tense. "I'm way too nervous."

Amanda is twenty-nine years old, tall, white, and red-haired, with light blue eyes and a body that looks like it belongs on a runway. She's always turned heads wherever she goes. Even so, she's never made me feel inferior.

"I know," she replies firmly. "But you can't waste this opportunity. Let's go. Your interview starts at eight-thirty. Arriving early shows commitment."

I nod, even though my stomach is churning.

"You're right. Let's go."

I sling my bag over my shoulder and follow her. I'm wearing a simple black jumpsuit, fitted around the bust, with no cleavage showing. Working with children requires care, and I don't feel comfortable showing too much of my body anyway.

On my feet, I wear flat sandals. My wavy hair falls loose over my shoulders. My makeup is light, with only a soft red lipstick that contrasts with my Black skin.

We head downstairs, and I find my parents in the living room. Despite being forty-five and forty-six, they look younger. They've always taken care of their health and appearance.

My mother is short, with Black skin, dark brown hair, and light brown eyes. Her body still has a balanced, graceful appearance, far removed from the tired image many people associate with age.

My father is tall, with lighter skin, light brown hair, and dark brown eyes. He's always gone to the gym and has never given up the habit.

"Are you leaving already, Daddy's princess?" he asks with a smile.

The nickname warms my chest.

"You look beautiful, sweetheart," my mother says, approaching me. "I have faith that this job will be yours."

"Thank you, Mom. Thank you, Dad." My voice comes out emotional. "I'm going to the interview now. Wish me luck."

My father stands, and they both come closer and kiss my forehead.

"We believe in you," he says. "Go in there with confidence."

I say goodbye and head to Amanda's car. As soon as she starts the engine, my nervousness returns in full force.

"I'm so anxious," I confess.

"Breathe," she replies calmly. "It's going to be okay."

I do as she says, taking a deep breath.

"Do you think I'll have to live there?" I ask uncertainly. "Most of my jobs required it."

"Probably. It makes everything easier."

I silently agree. My mind won't stop racing. Despite my experience, I've never interviewed for someone so influential. It feels as though my heart could leap out of my chest at any moment. My hands are cold, my body tense.