Chapter 4 Chapter Four

Isabella.

I woke up with a sharp inhale, too violently as though I had been under the water for minutes. There was still darkness in my room but something felt wrong. It felt like the air had been disturbed.

I blinked, letting my vision adjust as I pushed myself upright. The room was quiet and no signs of anyone but my skin prickled like someone had stood right beside my bed.

I switched on the lamp.

I sat there, swallowing hard as I told myself that I was just being paranoid. It’s been three days since Luca’s escape and my mind hasn't been at rest. I felt eyes on me everywhere and it looked like my brain was punishing me.

Luca wasn't going to come for me. I needed to get that straight into my fucking brain…..

But then, I felt something warm slide down my inner thigh. My breath caught in my chest.

I reached down with trembling fingers, dragging through the moisture and when I lifted them into the light, I knew I was done for.

It wasn’t sweat.

It wasn’t water.

It was sperm. Luca’s sperm.

My heart shook violently against my chest as the truth settled calmly.

He had been here. Luca had come into my room, stood over my body and fucking masturbated. He was close enough to touch me, close enough to strangle me to death and I wasn’t aware. Thanks to my habit of sleeping too deep.

The floor seemed to sway under my feet as I stood. I walked towards the bathroom when something caught my eyes.

My closet was wide open. I never left it open, I’m organized that way.

A cold tremor ran through my spine as I moved toward it, each step I took weighted with the dread and anticipation swirling in my chest. I stared hard at the abnormality when I noticed it.

My underwear drawer was half empty, definitely his work. No surprise that Luca was into stealing now.

But what drew my attention wasn't even the stark absence of my panties, it was the envelope.

A small, red envelope was sitting perfectly at the center of emptiness he created. My heartbeat drummed loudly in my throat as I crouched to pick it up. My fingers were shaking so bad like he was going to pop out of the envelope.

A part of me thought that I should scream. To demand why he wouldn’t fucking confront me if revenge was what he needed. Why couldn't he just get through with it rather than punishing me this way?

But another part of me was relieved I didn’t see him. How could I face him again after these years?

I wouldn’t be able to bear the hatred in his eyes. I would rather die than to see Luca loathe me.

I tore the envelope open with careful, desperate hands. The paper inside was worn and aged, the edges had softened and torn slightly. I flipped it open when I saw the stamp on it.

Sundernyx prison stamp.

Five years ago. The date was exactly a month after he was arrested and it was sent to my old address.

A choked, broken gasp escaped me. I had refused to go receive these letters and now, Luca was getting them for me.

How much pain had I caused him?

I sank to the floor as my vision blurred with tears. The letter shook in my hands as I tried to read its content.

“You choose them over me, Bella?”

My breath caught.

A loud sob tore out my throat before I could stop it. I pressed the letter on my face, the ink smearing as I soaked it with tears. I would never get through this guilt. I hated myself for it.

He must have walked into the post office himself to get these letters. He must have waited for my response every month. But I never picked up a single one.

I had abandoned him without even meaning to.

“I’m so sorry..,” I whispered miserably. “I need to see you….Luca.”

I forced myself to stand up and walked into the bathroom. I needed anything that wasn’t the weight of my own shame. My own cowardness.

In the harsh light in the bathroom, I glanced down at the work of art on my thigh and before I could stop myself, I lifted his sperm to my lips.

His taste pulled a soft moan from me. I wanted him. Like always. I hated myself for wanting him over and over again. For missing him with an ache that would never heal. For craving the danger I pretended to fear.

I took a scalding shower, trying to wash him off my skin. I dressed up with numb fingers, anxiety coiling inside of me. Today was the first day of university, my father agreed.

“If you are not downstairs in two minutes, you are getting to campus on your own.” Vivian’s voice sounded loudly behind my door.

I hurried downstairs, clutching my bag so tightly. I had to go to school and attend class, pretending my life wasn't crumbling down.

Isabella, you promised your father to start afresh!!!

I nodded my head at the voice in my head. When I stepped into the garage, Vivian was already by her car, tapping her heels against the floor.

“Move it,” she snapped. “I don’t have all day.”

I ignored her. I hoped my father would see I’m worthy of a car and buy me one so I don’t have to go with Vivian every morning.

As I stepped toward the passenger seat, that prickling burn came back. Like a burn at the back of my neck. It was slow at first, then heavier.

There was no mistake I was being watched.

My steps faltered and the hairs on my arm stood.

I turned once and my heart stopped.

Luca was right there at the end of the driveway, half-hidden behind the pillars. The hood of his sweatshirt pulled low. Those same feral, terrifying eyes were fixed on me.

Not his mother.

Not the house.

Me.

He didn’t blink. Though, he looked like he didn’t like that I caught him. Before my brain could even form a thought, he tugged his hoodie lower and stepped back.

My body moved on its own.

“Isabella!” Vivian screamed. “Get in the fucking car! Where are you—”

I didn’t hear the rest. My bag dropped from my hand with a loud thud as I took off running.

“Hey!” Vivian called after me, her heels clacking furiously behind. “I will go tell your father—!”

I didn’t give a fuck. I didn’t care about anything other than the glimpse I saw. The proof that I haven’t been losing my mind these past days. That Luca had been here. That he was here right now.

“Luca!!” I yelled as I darted past the hedge, my breath ragged. “Luca! I know you are there!”

I spun in circles, looking everywhere. The side of the house, the driveway, behind the tall shrubs, down the street….I couldn’t find him!

Nothing.

The world was so silent except for my own loud breathing.

I gulped hard, tears burning the edges of my eyes. I knew who I saw. I wasn’t even being delusional. I wasn’t imagining things.

He was here.

Looking at me!

“Luca,” I tried again. “Please….just—”

“ISABELLA!” Vivian’s shrill voice cut through the air. I could hear her marching towards me. “What is wrong with you? Running off like a lunatic!”

I gave up and turned towards the direction to meet her when—

A hand. A strong, fast hand grabbed me.

Covered my mouth in one motion.

Another arm pulled my waist, dragging me backward into the thick rows of hedges.

My heart trembled violently. I thought it would burst. I tried to scream, but the hand was so strong on my mouth. Panic shot through me until it hit me…..

Familiar. Warm. Comfort.

Luca.

My entire body collapsed against him in a trembling shudder. He pressed me further into the shadows as his chest flush to my back. His calm, steady breath brushed the shell of my ear. Like he wasn’t even winded.

Vivian’s footsteps stomped past without hesitation as she kept muttering how rude I was.

I didn’t give a shit about her.

All I was thinking was how Luca didn’t move his hand.

Or his arm from my waist.

Or his body from mine.

He held me exactly where he wanted me to be. Maybe he didn’t hate me after all. Hope flared in my stomach, giving me butterflies until—

He finally spoke, his voice deadly low and controlled.

“Do you want to die?”

My heart sank.