Chapter 5 Chapter 5: I hate you

Milo

It was not as if I had never kissed anyone before. I had shared a few playful, never serious, kisses with girls. I admired women and adored Dolores, but not in that way. Sometimes, though, I let myself wonder what a real kiss would feel like, what it would be like to feel truly wanted by someone.

And, God help me, that's exactly how I felt when Blake kissed me.

It wasn't soft. Not playful. Not gentle.

It was a storm.

He wrapped one arm tightly around me and held my face in place with the other, keeping me there and making sure I couldn’t pull away. Not that I could have.

And not that I knew if I even wanted to.

He devoured my mouth with overwhelming hunger. His lips were warm and softer than I expected, and his hand felt slightly rough against my skin. He sucked on my lower lip. When he pressed his chest harder against mine, I felt the solid heat of his torso.

Then I felt the tip of his tongue against my lips, demanding entrance.

My lips trembled as if all this stimulation was too much and I simply wasn’t built to handle it.

Spoiler alert: I wasn’t.

Especially not for what came next. Blake pressed his hips against mine and ground slowly. Grinding.

A startled gasp escaped me as my mouth fell open in surprise. He took advantage immediately, slipping his tongue inside. After that, everything turned to madness.

His tongue moved in a sinful, intoxicating way, a devastating rush of heat that made every part of me tremble. My entire body shook as I absorbed it all, feeling equal parts fear and euphoria.

After a lifetime of rejection, the last thing you expect is for a tall, muscular, devastatingly sexy man to pin you against a wall and kiss you as if he were starving.

“Fuck,” he growled when he finally pulled away.

My eyes were still closed. I was afraid to open them when I felt his lips against my throat instead. His hand slid from my shoulder down my arms, squeezed hard, then trailed over my back. Finally, he grabbed my ass with a firm grip.

By that point, it was painfully obvious that I was hard as a brick.

And by everything holy... I was pretty sure he was too. Blake had to be huge; the pressure against my groin kept increasing.

I realized I had stopped breathing entirely. When I finally sucked in a loud breath, he gave me no chance to recover.

He crashed into my mouth again. His hips kept moving against mine, eliciting the hottest and most humiliating reactions from my body.

He was the hottest guy I had ever met.

He was the dream of girls and surely boys. He had a dozen girlfriends at school.

And he was here with me. My roommate.

My bully.

Somewhere farther down the hall, a door slammed shut.

For a split second, clarity returned.

This couldn’t be happening. This was a mistake.

“That’s not a new cologne, is it, pretty boy? That’s your scent . . .” he murmured against my neck with a low sigh.

He didn’t seem to notice that I wanted to push him away. He was still trapped in his strange world, where everyone, including me, did exactly what he wanted.

I shoved his chest, trying to create space between us. Finally, he looked at me.

“What´s wrong?” he asked.

"Let me go,"

I meant for it to sound firm, but it came out as a plea.

"What?" he genuinely couldn’t comprehend it. He couldn’t imagine someone like me rejecting him.

Was I rejecting him?

I could practically see his brain recalculating and trying to process what I was saying.

“Let you go? You still don’t understand, do you?" he asked. I could have sworn he growled. Actually growled, like a wild animal. "You'll do what I say. End of discussion."

"And I already told you, you don't get to boss me around," I muttered.

"Yes, I do," he replied.

He pressed himself even closer. Now, I could feel his legs tangled against mine. Towering over me, he gripped my arm with one hand, tracing his thumb over my muscles, while he braced the other against the wall beside my head, trapping me completely.

"Why? Because you’re some stupid alpha?" I snapped.

Something flashed across his face.

Shock.

"What do you know about that?" he asked sharply. For the first time, I heard genuine concern in his voice. Even... fear?

"About alphas?"

"Do you know about..." he repeated, eyes wide open.

"Yes, alpha. A ridiculous label that insecure men like you use because you think you’re superior to everyone else."

"What...?"

"Those pathetic, misogynistic, homophobic podcasters who should be banned from microphones and are secretly gay themselves," I shot back.

I instantly knew he hadn’t understood half of what I said. I shoved him again, but he didn’t budge an inch. This time, he grabbed my jaw and forced me to stay still.

"Listen to me, pretty boy...."

"Leave me alone!"

"You’ll do what I say, when I say it, and how I say it. You’re not going to bars or anywhere off campus. You’ll go straight from class back to the dorm with no detours, and you’ll erase that ridiculous line in our room. Understood?"

"Are you out of your fucking mind?"

His words pushed me over the edge. He had treated me like trash my entire life.

He humiliated me. And now he wanted something from me? Not just kisses and wandering hands, but control, too? I was convinced it was all manipulation.

A game. A lie.

I refused to fall for it. I had fought too hard for the freedom I had.

There was no way that caveman was going to take it away from me.

"Oh, really? Am I allowed to go to the library, or do I need your permission for that, too?" I snapped, slapping his hand away. He released me abruptly.

"You’ll go with me. Never alone," he said.

Was he serious? I shoved him with all my might.

He barely moved a couple of inches.

"Don't you dare come near me again," I growled. A dark smile spread across his face.

“Why? Do I bother you now? Last time I check you like it. You were kissing me back, pretty boy."

I don't know where I found the courage, but I punched him in the jaw as hard as I could. His head snapped to the side. Slowly, he turned back toward me, fury burning in his expression. His eyes looked impossibly dark.

"How. Dare. You."

And oh boy... I panicked.

"Stay away from me, or I won't be responsible for what happens next."

What exactly was I going to do to him?

I had no clue.

But I said it anyway.

"Milo...stop..." He stepped toward me again.

Finally, I managed to pull away. "I hate you! I hate you a thousand times over, Blake Rodgers!" I shouted.

He didn’t move. He only exhaled slowly, wearing the strangest expression.

I ran like the devil himself was chasing me.