Chapter 6 A Long Fucking Night

Stella

‘Mate mate what are you doing get back out there you’re hurting him!’ Sylvia shrieks in my head trying to push forward.

I can’t even muster up the words to think back to her, my mind is blank, my pulse is racing and I feel like I’m going to throw up. Shit what is happening. Is that why I felt that tug after I killed Claire? But why now, why not years ago when I turned 18 like everyone else? I can’t make sense of it but hiding behind a locked door won’t help. Time to put on my big girl pants and go to this mating ball I guess? Cole is probably waiting. Oh no, Cole. This list of problems is getting rather long for my liking.

I take a deep breath. My mate's scent has faded Darien must have sent him away. I open the door to Darien and Victoria gaping at me. 

“We don’t have time to discuss this now, we need to get to this stupid ball.” I say as I take one final look in the mirror. My wavy dirty blond hair is in a half pony tail secured by the only keepsake I have from my birth parents, a gold clip with sapphires. Two stray strands frame my face in soft curls. My white cropped button up shirt barely shows mid rift with my beige wide legged pants flowing down my legs. I secure my sling back sandals on my feet and swiftly walk past them.

‘Don’t you want to know why you didn’t feel the bond?’ Darien links me. I glare at him as he trails behind me. ‘No’ I respond through the link.

‘It was black magic Stells, Claire was controlling him, you killing her broke the spell.’

I cut the link and step to my spot beside Victoria slightly trailing her and Sam joins us taking the same position behind Darrien. 

I can’t even begin to unpack that statement before we stride into the ball with all eyes on us, well most eyes on Darien and Victoria, but there’s one set of eyes staring into my soul. And then the yelling starts.

I swear his mind is so loud I’ve never been unable to block someone out before but it’s like our minds are one and I’m drowning in his panic. ‘Shit she’s going to reject me. I don’t deserve her. I'm too weak, I couldn’t even withstand a stupid spell. I destroyed everything. And she rescued me, unknowingly, from what could have been a lifetime of deception. Shit the rejection is going to weaken me further and hurt the pack. Maybe I should just turn it over to Darien now they’d be in good hands. But I can’t my dad….’

‘Can you think a little quieter?’ I cut his thought short with the link. He stops and stares at me from across the table that I somehow must have sat at while in the whirlwind of his thoughts. He then turns away and starts counting. Counting? Interesting relaxation tactic. ‘Thank you’ He looks at me and gives me a small embarrassed smile in return.

Shit. He’s kind of cute. And obviously giving himself a worst guilt trip then I could dish out. I sigh heavily and tune into Darien as he speaks. 

“The ball has done its job and brought me my Luna. Cheers to finding many more matches tonight.” 

Shit I definitely missed the majority of that speech but I take the champagne, toss the whole glass back and lean into my chair. This is going to be a long fucking night. 

Stella

A whole miserable hour later dessert is served. I haven’t eaten a goddamn thing. My stomach is in knots and my brain is a tangled mess. Alpha Matthew has dulled his thoughts and I’ve been able to mute them for the most part but the overwhelming guilt and panic pulsing through the bond is giving me a headache. Fucking mate bond. And even worse Cole has been staring me down trying to link me and I just shut him out and pretend not to see. Shit when did my life get so complicated?

‘Can we go now?’ I link Darien. He looks at me, nods, and rises from his seat. The four of us follow him in a straight line like ducklings following their mother Victoria first then me then Sam and then Alpha Matthew. Well this must look fucking ridiculous. I don’t care we need to get the fuck out of here. We arrive at Darien’s office and file in. Darien sits in the chair behind his desk and secures Victoria in his lap. She’s giggling. Great. Just throw your cute mate bond romance in my face. I sigh audibly. 

Sam is sprawled out on the loveseat and Matthew is shrinking himself in the corner of it, eyes cast down. And me well I’m apparently pacing the whole room. Fuck I’m shaking visibly shaking. 

“Stells calm down.” Darien says in his trying to be soothing voice. 

In that moment something snaps in me and my control over what comes out of my mouth evaporates.

“CALM DOWN!? You want me to calm down? I’ve been robbed of my mate bond my whole fucking life and just when I came to terms with it and had a happy life some fucked up black magic is broken and I have a mate who honestly probably couldn’t even defend himself against a fly at this point. His pack is a mess and he’s nearly gotten me killed by rogues at least six times in the past week with his fucking carelessness and you want me to CALM DOWN?!?!”

The whole room goes deathly silent just staring at me. The only thing I hear is Matthew’s thoughts; he's screaming the alphabet in his head probably trying not to piss me off anymore. Finally he speaks. “I’m sorry Stella for being a weak mate, I don't deserve you, you can reject me now.”

I look at him, really look at him, his thoughts are pure, not selfish. Maybe I can give him a chance? But I can’t guarantee I’ll accept him, not today. I also have to break up with Cole. I can't drag him into my mess any further. 

My eyes soften and I crouch in front of Matthew holding his gaze. “I’m not rejecting you. Not now. We have to stabilize your pack and that border before anyone else gets hurt.”

I turn to Darien and ask “So what’s the plan?”