Chapter 3

Iris

All night long.

I kneel outside the estate gates, my knees pressed against cold stone. The wind cuts across my face like knives. I hold the torn stuffed bear tight against my chest, feeling the cotton spill out through the rips.

I remember taking a bullet for Adrian once. Both legs hit. Couldn't move. He held me, his eyes red, voice shaking. "I'll protect you from now on. Nothing will ever hurt you like this again."

Now he makes me kneel here.

Dawn breaks. The gate finally opens.

Not Adrian. One of his men. His expression is hard to read. "Boss wants you inside."

I pull myself up against the wall. The main hall stands empty.

I freeze. Adrian's not here. Evelyn's not here. Even Tyler's gone—the kid they treat like he's made of glass.

Something's wrong. I feel it in my gut.

I spin around and grab the guy by his collar. "Where are they?"

He stammers, won't meet my eyes.

"Talk!"

"Boss went to the cemetery. Your daughter's."

I let go. My ears ring.

I run. Don't even feel the pain anymore.

The cemetery's small.

Eden was only five. Her headstone's just a small piece of white marble.

After the explosion, I searched the water for three days. Found nothing. Just a burned piece of fabric. Some ash.

I put it in a box and buried it here.

Now Adrian stands in front of the headstone with a crew of guys in black. They've already dug up the grave. Dirt piled to the side. Evelyn holds Tyler next to Adrian. Tyler tilts his head up, curious, watching them dig.

I see one of the men pull out the small box.

"No!" My scream rips through the morning.

Adrian turns. Shock flashes across his face. "Iris? What are you doing here?"

I run forward but two guards slam into me, pin my shoulders back.

"Let go!" I thrash against them. "Stop! Don't touch her! Haven't you done enough! She's already dead!"

Adrian's expression hardens. He turns and takes the box. "Since you're here, you can watch."

"This is what happens when you don't listen. I warned you to stay away from Evelyn and Tyler."

"You destroyed Eden's bear." My voice cracks.

"So now, get on your knees." Adrian cuts me off. "Apologize to Evelyn. Tell her you were wrong, that you'll stay away from her and Tyler. Do that, and I'll put the box back."

My legs give out. I drop to the ground, staring at the box in Adrian's hands. "I'm sorry—I'm so sorry—it was my fault, I swear I won't—I'll never touch her again, please—"

I press my forehead into the dirt. "Please, please just leave her alone—I was wrong, okay? I was wrong—"

How could I be wrong?

They killed Eden. Evelyn contacted the rival gang herself. Planned that whole dock shootout three years ago. Adrian chose that bastard kid over his own daughter.

Why should I apologize?

I lift my head. "Adrian, if you touch that box, I swear to God I will never forgive you. Never."

Adrian's face changes. Evelyn tugs on his sleeve. Her voice comes out soft. "Adrian, see? She didn't mean it. Look at her—she still hates us."

Tyler's small voice pipes up. "Daddy, she scares me. She tried to hurt Mommy."

Adrian stares into my eyes for a long time. Then he turns and walks toward the lake at the edge of the cemetery.

His arm swings out.

The box arcs through the air and smashes against the rocks by the water. It shatters. Ashes scatter in the wind. The lake swallows them. Gone.

"No!" I scream, ripping free from the guards.

I throw myself at the water's edge, clawing at the surface, trying to catch anything. Nothing. Just cold water slipping through my fingers.

Gone.

All of it gone.

The last piece of her. Gone. Thrown away by the man I used to love.

Pain tears through my chest. I open my mouth to scream but blood comes out instead.

Everything goes black. I hit the ground hard.

The last thing I hear is Adrian's panicked voice. "Iris! Someone get me a doctor! Now!"

In the dream, Eden stands far away.

She wears the clothes from that day, the day she died. Burned all over. She looks at me—confused, in pain.

"Mommy, why didn't you save me?"

"Why did you let them do this?"

Her voice cracks like she's crying. Every word cuts into me.

"You helped them. You killed me."

"I hate you."

"I'll never forgive you."

I reach for her. "Eden, don't go. Mama's sorry. I'm so sorry."

But she screams and backs away. She gets smaller, fading, until the darkness swallows her completely.

"Eden! Eden!"

I jolt awake. I'm in bed.

Adrian sits beside me. The second my eyes open, he grabs my hand. "You're awake. Christ, Iris—you scared the hell out of me." He stops, breath unsteady. "You've been out a whole day. Doctor said it was your heart. Stress, plus your old injuries catching up."

His voice softens. "Look, I messed up. I shouldn't have—fuck, I just lost my temper."

"I already sent people to dredge the lake for the ashes. Whatever they can find." Adrian keeps talking. "I swear to you, this is the last thing I'll ever do for Evelyn. She's leaving—her and Tyler both. Out of the country, out of your life." He pauses. "And I'll spend the rest of my life making this right."

I stare at the ceiling. Eden's face fills my head.

She said she hates me.

She said she'll never forgive me.

When I don't respond, Adrian panics. He grabs my shoulders and shakes. "Say something! Don't just—stop looking at me like that! I said I'll fix this!"

I shove him away. Sit up. My fist crashes into his face. Then again. And again.

Adrian freezes. Lets me hit him. Blood runs from his nose but he doesn't move.

My hands ache. Knuckles split open, bleeding. I stare at him. "I don't need you to fix anything. Adrian—I want you dead."