Chapter 148

Mira

I had dreamed of Dominic every night for over a week.

It wasn’t the same dream, but it seemed wherever I ended up in my subconscious there he was. In wolf or human form, he was trying to find me.

But he wasn’t chasing me.

It was like he just wanted to be in the corner of every room I occupied, just out of the corner of my eye. His expression was patient and pleasant, but I could feel the yearning pull between us even as I slept.

The comments and interaction in the public sphere continued in real life, too. He went so far as mentioning me in an interview when speaking about the regional alliance between Packs. And whenever someone tried to goad him into speaking ill of me, his estranged wife, he would pivot the conversation to speak of the good works being done.

I had never loved him more.

But, I stayed away. I did not respond or react or reshare any of the press releases or commentary that related to me. I let the organization behind me take the credit where it was due, and tried to keep my head down.

When anyone asked me about my estranged husband, I was the coward who said, “no comment.”

Of course, I thought about dashing it all and running back to him. In theory it would be simple to just swallow my pride and forgive him, but I knew it would only work if he could do the same.

“You’re doing it again,” Sasha said to me one night.

We’d been driving back to our safehouse after delivering and administering flu vaccines to a remote area up North. The small Pack up there had been more or less cut off from the rest of the region by the Rogues, and now we were helping them return to society and good health.

“What am I doing?”

Sasha gestured to my hands on the wheel of the van. My thumb was tapping consistently on the surface, giving away my anxiety.

“Oh,” I said, squeezing all ten fingers tight around the wheel. “I’m just…tired.”

“Uh huh,” the young EMT said. “You’ll look tired forever if you don’t stop scowling and pinching your eyebrows like that.”

She smiled, trying to be playful and tease me, but it had the opposite effect.

I started to cry.

“Mira, no, I’m sorry I didn’t–”

“It’s okay, I’m–” I exhaled loudly, almost a guttural laugh at the absurdity of my tears. “It’s the hormones– I’m feeling everything a little too much.”

“Right…” Sasha said. She risked placing a hand on my shoulder, and it did help me to relax. “Why don’t you pull over and let me drive the rest of the way.”

I didn’t argue, and it felt nice to press my forehead to the cold glass of the passenger window as we finished the drive.

That night, I lay in bed thinking about the future. My palm was pressed firmly to my belly, feeling the new firmness under my flesh that would someday be my child. The tears flowed on their own, dripping onto my pillow, as if a leaky faucet had been left unattended.

What are we going to do?

I wasn’t unhappy in my work, in this phase of my career. It was fulfilling and important to the community, and so much safer now that I had feared when I was first threatened with this occupation.

But could I raise a child here?

I had been lucky to mostly stay in the same house I’d first encountered months ago, but still had to relocate and travel whenever needed. Would I bring my baby with me? Would I leave the child behind with a caretaker, only visiting when the itinerary allowed?

I fell asleep suddenly, almost like someone had cast a spell to put me under. Dominic was waiting for me in my dream.

I was walking in the woods, our woods, towards our secret spot. He was there, on the edge of the cliff that overlooked the marshy land below. The sun was behind him, and he looked otherworldly.

In his arms, was a baby. Our baby.

He didn’t call out to me, he didn’t rush towards me. He just stood there, smiling, and waited for me to catch up. My future was right there in front of me, if only I would let myself walk towards it.

A phone ringing woke me just after dawn. The name on the screen confused me at first, and I answered quickly.

“Cinda?”

“Mira!” My old friend sounded energetic for the hour, and I guessed she had been on the night shift. “Thank the gods, I called a few times, sorry to wake you.”

“It’s alright,” I responded, my brain catching up to waking speed. “What’s going on? Is everything all right?”

“So far, so good,” Cinda said, “but she’s asking for you. She says she can’t do it without you.”

“Wait, slow down,” I closed my eyes to focus better. “Who is?”

“Tessa,” Cinda said, “She went into labor two hours ago.”

Then I was fully awake. “Tell her I’m on my way.”

Some goddess was smiling down on us, because luckily I was at a house only about two hours away from Pack Grey. Sasha insisted on coming with me, and I was grateful to have her behind the wheel so I could mentally prepare for what was ahead.

I had delivered many babies over the years as a midwife and assisting physician, but this one would be different. This was Tessa’s baby, a baby whose mere existence had changed the entire course of my life. The course that led me to Dominic, and eventually led me away from him.

Would the arrival of this baby bring me back to him?

“Mira!”

Tessa’s voice was resonant as she elongated the final vowel of my name into an expulsion of pain and emotion.

“I thought you’d never get here,” Tessa’s eyelids were fluttering, but the brown orbs underneath were bright. “What if I can’t do this?”

I patted her sweat-soaked brow, offering her a genuine smile.

“You can, and you will,” I said, stern but nurturing. “You’ve got this, and I’ve got you.”

She smiled, reaching her hand out to grab my arm.

“Ready to push?”

Tessa’s screams echoed around the maternity wing, and eventually were mingled with the wailing cries of her baby’s first breaths in the outside world. It was a girl, and she was healthy and pink.

“Serena,” Tessa said, holding the squirming bundle in her arms. “Her middle name will be Mira.”

“Named for peace and for the savior who brought her into this world,” Ward said, perched on the edge of the hospital bed. “Thank you, my oldest friend.”

Then I was crying too, not caring that the pregnancy hormones were taking over my body.

“Ahem.”

The sound of a man clearing his throat drew our attention to the doorway.

It was Dominic.

I felt the color drain from my face as he stepped into the room. He walked towards Tessa, but he kept his eyes mostly on me. I couldn’t have spoken a word even if I tried.

“I’ll leave you all to rest,” I said, making a quick exit into the hallway.

I knew he would follow me, and I stopped when he called out.

“Mira, wait!”

“Yes?”

I turned to face him, trying not to look directly into the dark pools of his eyes. I used to love swimming in his gaze, but now it felt like drowning.

“Please, can we talk?” His eyes were steady but pleading, though the rest of his body was relaxed. “There are so many things I’ve wanted to say, and maybe I should’ve reached out to you–”

“It’s okay,” I said, not wanting him to continue. I felt my resolve crumbling. “I don’t blame you, for anything, we both… it’s okay.”

His eyes traced over my body, settling on my stomach as it pressed gently outwards against my scrubs.

“I have to go,” I said, trying to turn and leave.

“Mira, please–”

“I can’t–” I looked at him one last time. “Take care of yourself, Alpha.”

Before he could respond, I was gone.