Chapter 100

Aria’s POV

I could feel Lucian’s eyes on me long before I turned and caught him staring. Yet, even caught, he kept his gaze on me. Though his face was expressionless, his eyes were sad and filled with longing. He looked at me deeply, as if he could see straight down to the core of me.

Did he know how much I still loved him? How difficult this entire process had been for me?

Did he even care?

My heart had been aching for days, ever since the mutual rejection, yet now it stung with a fresh pain. Would it ever truly recover after this?

Distance, maybe, would give me the time and space I needed to forget about Lucian. When I had those things, perhaps I could move forward with my life.

For now, however, everything hurt, my heart a gaping, bleeding wound exposed and prone to infection.

“We going to lunch?” Jasper asked.

I’d already agreed to it, but I was hesitating now. Even though the ceremony was over, I knew the minute I stepped out of this courthouse would be the same minute I would be expected to move on. To leave Lucian and my marriage in the past once and for all, shed off like the removal of a jacket.

Before I could do that, though, there was one last loose end.

“Wait for me by the door,” I told Jasper and Cathy, who was looking at me with curious suspicion. “I have one question for Lucian.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Cathy asked me.

She could see right through me, and likely knew I was potentially just hoping to extend this goodbye, wanting to push it off forever if possible.

“I’m sure,” I said, hopefully communicating to her that I’d already accepted this was the end. I just needed one last thing.

Cathy nodded, then, grabbing Jasper’s arm, dragged him toward the door. He continued to look after me like a lovesick puppy, not wanting to be apart for even a minute.

I couldn’t lie. I liked the attention Jasper gave me, and it was fun flirting with him. But compared to the soul-crushing love I felt for Lucian, what I felt for Jasper was just a passing fancy. He was a good friend. Maybe someday he could be something more. But for now, even with the divorce, my heart was still too full of love for Lucian.

Lucian, seeing me approach, straightened somewhat. Julia, also spotting me, stepped away to give us privacy.

I noticed Sheila starting to walk toward Lucian. Julia smoothly got in her way, distracting her with some question or another. Not for the first time, I was deeply appreciative of Julia.

Gods, I would miss her.

“Lucian,” I said as I came to stand before him.

“Aria,” he replied.

For a brief moment, neither of us said a word. The air between us now felt somewhat awkward, like neither of us truly knew what to say here, in the aftermath of our failed marriage.

Quickly though, I reminded myself of my purpose. “While you’ve been…” Removing every trace of me from your house. “…cleaning your house, did you happen upon my diary? I meant to take it with me, but I can’t seem to find it.”

I knew very well I had left it behind, in the drawer of my desk in my personal bedroom. What I wanted him to tell me was that one of the maids cleaned out the room and threw everything away. Or perhaps it was in a box somewhere and I could collect it.

Instead, Lucian just stared at me.

Lucian’s POV

I needed to confess to not only knowing where her diary was, but to having read it. Yet something inside of me held me back. She wouldn’t like that I had read it, intruding on her heart’s secrets. She probably also wouldn’t like the feelings for her that reading her diary had stirred inside of me.

In this moment, I wanted to tell her what I read, that I now understood the full depth of her feelings and could acknowledge how they helped awaken my own.

But telling her that would only make her sad. It wouldn’t actually change anything.

She’d smiled so brightly for Jasper. Now, standing near me, she was frowning again, trapped in her misery. I made her miserable, and I’d never forgive myself for it.

Telling her the truth now would only increase that misery.

For her sake, I had to let her go. With Jasper, she would be happy.

Unable to find the words, I simply shook my head.

It was far too late to give voice to my feelings for her. To do so now would only make things worse.

Aria, looking at me, somehow seemed even more disappointed, like I had let her down one last time.

I missed when her eyes alit with hope and joy at the sight of me. Now, it seemed, my presence only accomplished the exact opposite.

“Aria!” Jasper called to her. He was standing near the doorway with Cathy. After he shouted, Cathy swatted his arm.

Aria glanced at her friends, then back to me. “I have to go.”

“I understand,” I said.

“Stop her,” my wolf whispered. “Keep her with us!”

Swallowing down my pride, I said, “Goodbye, Aria.”

She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, they seemed watery. Looking up at me, she gave me a sad sort of smile. “Goodbye, Lucian,” she said, then, in a rush, turned and practically fled from me.

I watched her go, my heart cracking further with each step she took away from me.

Before she fully reached the door, Sheila walked up beside me.

“You did the right thing,” she told me.

Her words were meaningless because of the sheer selfishness behind them. Sheila had never liked Aria and had recently been actively working to tarnish Aria’s name. Perhaps she had always worked against Aria and I had just never seen it.

I remembered now, slowly, all the times Aria had tried to tell me that Sheila had been manipulating me, forcing me to choose her over Aria time and again. I had scolded Aria, even called her paranoid and jealous, when in truth… in hindsight… she might have been correct.

Not that it could have changed anything. I was indebted to Sheila for everything that I had caused, that had happened to her.

If I’d never introduced her to Travis…

No. Regrets mattered little now. Everything happened as it had, the good and the bad, and I could not travel back in time to change my choices. I could only move forward and try to correct them the best I could with what I had now.

For Aria, that meant letting her go so that she could find happiness with someone else, or with Jasper or whoever in the end would make her truly happy. As someone who had only made her miserable, I had no right to intrude on that.

For Sheila, that meant continuing to correct the wrongs. Thanks to Dr. A, Sheila could theoretically have children again, but I still needed to find Sheila a good match. Else, I’d have to just marry her myself. At least I knew then that she would be safe. I’d never hurt her as Travis had.

My heart heavy, I kept my eyes on Aria, wishing for all the world that she would turn back around and accept me once more.

Instead, Sheila, looped her arm through mine and tugged me closer, possessively pressing her body against mine.

At just that moment, Aria looked back.