Chapter 131

Aria’s POV

I regretted how things had to end with Jasper. Though I was relieved we would continue to be friends, I didn’t like having to hurt him, even if it was the right thing to do.

I couldn’t live a lie, not even for Jasper, who I knew would try his best to make me happy. We might even have some good times, but it would be so unfair to him. I was always going to want Lucian as my mate, not Jasper. Jasper could be the best husband in the universe and I still wouldn’t be satisfied.

It was terrible but it was the truth.

Jasper deserved better. He might have wanted me, but I was all wrong for him. Someday, in the near future, I hoped, he would meet the right person for him who would fit him the way he hoped to fit with me. Someone who would love and adore him, who would embrace his mischievous side while also helping to support him.

Unfortunately, here and now, and very possibly never, that couldn’t be me.

Lucian entered the room while I was still lost in thought. Though I was the one to turn down Jasper, I still felt hurt weight heavy within me, coupled with guilt, and festering with the idea that perhaps I should have been clearer in my rejections of him, to keep his feelings from developing this far.

As lost as I was, my body didn’t react to Lucian quite as strongly as it had before, though my wolf still perked up at his presence.

“I’m sorry, Dr. A,” Lucian said. “Perhaps you’d like to be alone?”

“No,” I said, without even really meaning to. I had no reason to talk to Lucian. I should send him away and get back to work. In fact, part of my plan in returning to Nightfall was to never see Lucian the entire time I was here. By seeing him now, speaking with him, I was breaking that vow.

Fortunately, I had decided to wear my Dr. A disguise. That at least gave me some comfort. My anonymity protected me. I didn’t have to deal with Lucian realizing Jasper had been proposing to Aria.

Dr. A was a friend to Lucian. Not an ex, or anything else. For that reason, I could sit behind my mask and speak with him.

“Please,” I said, and gestured to one of the open chairs at my table.

Lucian moved closer and took a seat across from me at the round table. He stared at me straight on, as if I was a puzzle he was trying to solve. It might have been unnerving if I wasn’t still in love with him. Instead, I preened under the attention, even though I was mad at myself for it.

“Are you alright?” Lucian asked me.

“I’m fine,” I said. “A little surprised, perhaps. Though maybe I shouldn’t be. But it’s fine.”

Lucian nodded slowly and did not ask any follow-up questions. For a while, we simply sat there in silence. Perhaps he was giving me time to process, if that was what I needed.

It was so strange, seeing how much Lucian could care. In the past, I would have given anything to have him just sit here like this with me, being present just in case I needed him to be.

Of course this shift in him had to come at too late of a time, when nothing could be done anymore.

Lucian was my past. We were broken in every way a relationship could be broken. My foolish heart and my wolf both just needed to let go. Even if it hurt.

I needed to get back to Moonglow. This distance helped some. I needed to save Cathy and then leave this pack again, for the sake of my heart and my future, and the future of my kids.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Lucian said. “And please don’t take this the wrong way. I am glad you are here. But what brought you back to Nightfall?”

“I’m not here to stay,” I said quickly, eager to set that boundary for myself and for him. For anyone who would listen. “My friend Cathy has a rare disease. Incurable, or so they say. I’ve come back to cure her. As soon as she is healthy again, I will leave once more.”

Lucian hummed. “I’m sorry to hear about Cathy. I didn’t know things were that bad.”

“They are,” I said, remembering how frail Cathy looked. She needed a cure and fast. The disease was already tearing through her body. “But I will stop this disease and save my friend.”

Lucian, looking me straight in the eye, said, “I believe you.”

Warmth filled me, his confidence giving me strength. “Thank you.”

We were quiet for a moment more, and then he asked, “Did Aria come with you?”

Now, there was a loaded question, and I hesitated with how to answer it. By taking on both personas, I had to pretend that we were different. If Lucian thought Dr. A and Aria were friends, and that both left the pack, perhaps it wouldn’t be too difficult to believe that they might have traveled together, eventually settling into the same pack, the same town.

Cathy was a dear friend of Aria’s, after all, so it made sense that she would want to be here too.

“Yes,” I said carefully. “Cathy is Aria’s best friend. She wouldn’t miss the chance to be here for her friend in her time of need.”

Lucian nodded. “I’m sorry you are both going through this.”

“Cathy is the one who is suffering,” I said. “For now.” Until I could find a cure.

Shaking my head slightly, I didn’t want to think about this anymore. I’d been monopolizing this situation, which was unbearably rude. Even though I didn’t want to hear how happy he was and how he’d moved on, for the sake of polite conversation, I needed to ask him about himself as well.

“How are you?” I asked. “What have you been up to for the past five years?”

Lucian’s POV

To tell Dr. A the truth would have just been too sad, whether or not she was actually Aria.

What was there to say? I had fallen into a routine that you could set your watch to. I was deeply unhappy, living my life in auto-pilot, missing my ex-wife. I’d secretly worked toward building a peace in the neighboring packs just to have the chance to see Aria again.

“I’ve been well,” I said, lying. “The pack is flourishing.” That much was true at least. “The elders have been more or less contented with my actions.” Except for my lack of marriage plans and my not having any heirs.

I didn’t want Dr. A to pity me. I was the Alpha King. For the sake of the pack, I was supposed to appear confident and powerful. To share that I’d been hung up on my ex would not paint me, and therefore the pack, in the best light.

“You’ve been happy?” she asked me. Her eyes were searching. I didn’t know what kind of answer she was expecting, or what she would glean from my response.

For the sake of peace, I lied right to her face, keeping my true misery locked behind the expressionless mask of my face.

“Yes. I’m very happy.”