Chapter 24

Lucian’s POV

It took a while for me to finally calm Sheila down enough to hang up the phone, but when I finally did, I breathed a big sigh of relief. At the end, she still insisted I come home, but at least she wasn’t threatening suicide anymore. I’d convinced her that I would leave early.

Early, however, did not mean this minute.

Right now, I had to find Aria. After finding her missing from the pool area, I searched through the house. Coming up empty once again, I tried to think about where she would have gone. Then I remembered how she would often compliment my mother on her gardens.

Aria loved it out there.

I cursed myself. Knowing that, the gardens should have been the first place I checked.

Rushing outside, I searched for Aria and found her wandering among the flowers. Her face was turned upright, her eyes on the stars. The starlight complimented her features, making her skin glow. She looked ethereal like this, almost as if she didn’t belong in this world, among us mere mortals.

Then she turned and looked at me, and I saw a flash of pain in her eyes before a shield came up over them.

Swallowing down my rising guilt – I could only imagine what I’d done to hurt her this time – I walked toward her. She stopped, as if waiting for me to join her, though she also looked away, her eyes on the dark flowers now, no longer on the stars.

I realized with a bit of a start that this was the first time we’d been alone since our anniversary, when I’d publically backed Sheila and embarrassed Aria. I had thought that was the start of my troubles with Aria. Now, I wondered if things ran deeper than that.

Regardless, whatever it was that divided us now, we could fix it. We just needed to talk it through. I had a good explanation for any and every problem she could come up with, I was sure of it. I just needed the chance to properly defend myself.

But Aria stayed quiet, as if she just wanted to stand in the dark in silence.

As Sheila was already expecting me, I couldn’t waste time idling. We needed to resolve things now, so I could go home and tend to Sheila as well.

“Aria, about the divorce…”

“Let’s not talk about it,” she said.

“We have to talk about it,” I argued.

“No,” she said. “We really don’t.” With a sigh, she glanced at me and added, “I know you invited me here in an attempt to change my mind, but it won’t work. My mind is made up.”

Looking at her, I almost couldn’t believe the words she was saying to me now. But they were true. They had to be.

Because never in my years of knowing her had Aria ever sounded this cold. It was as if a switch inside of her had been flipped. Even earlier this evening she had spoken to me with some measure of warmth. Now, it was as if she had a blizzard inside of herself, chilling every word that left her mouth.

This coldness told me one thing. Aria’s request for a divorce was genuine, not a joke or a call for attention. She wanted to be apart from me.

“We could have children,” I said, hoping that would offer her comfort. A child would give her the attention that I could not.

“You believe we could have children?” she asked me. She shook her head. “We’ve tried, over the past few years, but it was never possible then. And it isn’t now. Do you know why?”

“No,” I admitted. I had wondered, especially earlier in our relationship when our attempts had been more frequent. But sometimes it could take certain werewolves a long time to conceive. That didn’t make it impossible.

“The deeper the mate bond and the better the relationship between the mated pair, the easier it is for a werewolf couple to conceive,” Aria said. “Our second chance bond was never that strong…”

“Aria…”

“You don’t love me, Lucian,” Aria said, looking straight into my eyes. “Not enough. Maybe not at all. Without love, even if we’d had intimacy as often as physically possible, I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant.”

“How do you know this is true?” I asked. “We could consult a Healer.”

“I had medical training.”

“That’s not the same thing as being a Healer. If we went to Dr. A –”

“Dr. A would tell you what I just said. But you can ask her if you’d like. Why trust the woman about to be your ex-wife?”

“This isn’t about trust,” I said. “I just want to be sure. There has to be a way for you to be able to conceive.”

“There isn’t. Not by you,” Aria replied in the kind of straightforward way that sent a knife through my gut. I was responsible for Aria’s pain.

I was good at hurting others, it seemed. First Sheila, now Aria.

“But even if there was a way,” Aria continued, “I wouldn’t seek it out.”

“Why?”

Subtlety, she touched her stomach, perhaps thinking of the child that could have been.

“Any child I bear deserves to be surrounded by love,” I said. “I wouldn’t teach them that a loveless marriage is a happy one. When it isn’t. I’ve suffered these past three years, Lucian. I’ve hid it well, I suppose, or maybe you never cared to look too closely. But I’m done now. With this. With you.”

She turned away from me, showing me her back.

I was losing her.

No, I already lost her…

I stepped closer to her. “Aria, please. We can talk about this…”

“There’s nothing left to say,” she said, and I could have sworn I heard her voice crack. She cleared her throat. Then, when she spoke again, her voice was stronger. “Besides, Sheila is waiting for you.”

She was, but… damn it! What did that matter at a time like this? I’d told Sheila I’d be home early, but there was still time to fix things with Aria. There had to be time.

I wasn’t a failure. I wasn’t going to let this marriage fall apart.

Aria couldn’t leave me.

If what she’d said was true though… If she’d been unable to conceive because of my inability to feel things…

Gods, maybe I was the failure.

Guilt sliced through me so painfully I felt as if I might have been physically stabbed.

“Aria. Sheila and I—”

“Don’t lie to me, Lucian. Not anymore. I didn’t believe what you said before, about not being in a romantic relationship, but now I have proof.”

“What proof?” There couldn’t be proof of a relationship that didn’t exist.

“It doesn’t matter. Don’t you see?” Swiveling on her feet, she faced me again. Tears hung in her eyes, making them sparkle in the starlight, but those stubborn tears did not fall. Strong as she was, she held them back. “I’m divorcing you, Lucian. That’s what I want. Accept it. Please. Sign the paperwork and let me go.”

I couldn’t…

“Don’t let her go…” Max whined in my mind.

“You never wanted me when we were together,” she said. “Why are you being so difficult now?”

I wished I had an answer that would satisfy her. Something that would change everything.

Instead, I could only stare and pray she could read my thoughts – that she could see I genuinely liked having her around. Even if it wasn’t love, it was something. She made my home better, she was good with the maids. She made sure I had my tea in the office…

She looked out for me.

Now she was leaving.

“Aria…”

“Let me go,” she said again, and a single tear fell down her cheek.