Chapter 40

Aria’s POV

After the mob dispersed, I decided to call Cathy and return home to rest, at least for a while. I needed to think, somewhere it was safe, and I wouldn’t be able to relax in the hospital. With all the tests I ran on Caleb, there was nothing more I could do for him either.

I needed to finally make up my mind and see things through.

Cathy sat beside me on the couch. “If you were going to give Caleb the medicine, you would have done it already.”

“I just need to be sure.”

The television is on, changed to the local news. On it, reporters are following around some of the mobs. Protestors have gathered in many different places, including the hospital, as well as the medical administration building downtown. Also, surprisingly, the Alpha headquarters building.

“Turn it up,” I say, as the news shows stock footage of Lucian’s office door. It must be old, because there are still holiday decorations handing on the wall beside the door.

Cathy cranks up the volume enough for us to fully hear.

“Protestors are demanding that Alpha King Lucian order Dr. A to administer the life-extending medicine to Caleb,” the reporter on the scene said. “They are also requesting a statement from Luna Aria on the matter. The Luna, as you know, has been entirely quiet on the matter, though she was spotted recently spending time with Caleb’s son, Matt.”

I braced myself, half expecting them to then report on the near-fight with Lucian. Blessedly, none of that seemed to be reported on. Either the spectators didn’t go to the news, or they weren’t believed if there was no footage, which it seemed as if there wasn’t.

Realizing this, relief flooded through me. At least my foolish, lovesick behavior wasn’t out there for the world to see, even if they were critical of everything else I did or didn’t do.

“Maybe you should make a statement,” Cathy said. “It is strange for a Luna to be so quiet.”

We both knew that I was only so quiet because of the divorce, else I would have publically supported Lucian the moment he made his opinion known.

But as the rest of the pack had no idea about the divorce, I ended up looking like an apathetic jerk.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t want to entangle myself in anything Lucian is doing. I have more than enough problems.”

Cathy hummed with understanding, even as her brow furrowed with concern. “The people will turn against you though, more than they already have.”

“When the truth about the divorce comes out, they will understand.”

“I hope that’s true,” Cathy said.

“You aren’t convinced?”

“I don’t know, Aria. I don’t have to tell you that you were never a popular Luna. But since you’ve pulled back from public life, things have gotten even worse. When this settles, if Lucian doesn’t force you to administer the medicine, the people are going to look for someone to blame. Blaming the Alpha King would be dangerous, so…”

“They’ll blame me,” I said, realizing. “Even though, as Aria, I would have nothing to do with it.”

“I’m worried that they will,” Cathy said.

Knowing the trouble this would make for me, both as Aria and Dr. A, I decided that perhaps what I needed to do was reassess. When I made my decision, I needed to be absolutely sure it was the best one, and to help achieve that assurance, I needed to know as much about Caleb as I possibly could.

“Will you come with me to the library?” I asked Cathy.

She gave me a curious look.

I explained, “I want to read up on Caleb’s life.”

At the library, Cathy and I split up to gather as many books on Caleb as we can. She headed into the history section, looking for books on the war, while I moved into section holding all the biographies. To my memory, Caleb had written an autobiography in the past.

Was there a better way to learn about a man than through his own words?

Ah! There. Near the bottom of the shelves, I found what I was looking for. I was fortunate to find it, given the popularity of the controversy. Perhaps it had only just been return.

The cover was a photo of a younger Caleb standing in front of a plain white background. He stared forward, straight ahead at the reader as if issuing a challenge.

Read this. Learn about me. And see if you can judge me.

I didn’t want to judge him. I only wanted some insight into how he himself would make this choice. In lieu of being able to ask him myself, I needed to be as certain as I could be of what he would want.

Holding the book close like a treasure, I fully intended to check it out, but, deciding to wait for Cathy, to see whatever she uncovered, I sat down at one of the tables near the front of the library, and opened the book.

I am a man of decision, the book began. In times of war, even a moment of hesitation could lead to a death. With good warriors under my charge, I would never risk it.

“Aria?”

I lifted my head up from the book and looked straight into Matt’s face.

“Matt? What are you doing here?”

“I wanted something to read,” Matt said. “I’ve been spending a lot of time in the hospital with dad…”

“Right,” I said, feeling foolish. “Of course.”

He didn’t ask what I was doing there, but he did glanced down at the book I was reading. His eyes widened a little as he realized what it was.

“That’s my father’s book.”

“Yes. With everything going on, I just thought… Well… I wanted to know him better.”

Matt pulls one of the free chairs away from the table. He glanced at it and then at me, as if silently asking permission if he could join me.

I nodded, giving him that permission. Once he had it, he sat down.

He wasn’t smiling, but his lips did slightly curl at the edges like he was about to. “I’m honored, and I’m sure he would be as well, that you have taken such an interest in my father.”

“I only wish I had sooner, when I could talk to him myself,” I said.

“His words are in this book,” Matt said, tapping the corner of the page I was on. “Many people hire ghostwriters to write their memoirs, but this is all dad. For months, he dedicated himself fully to what’s in these pages. He wanted to make sure everything was right.”

Good. Then maybe my answers were within.

“If you have questions…” Suddenly he looked down and then away. Clearing his throat, he continued, “Questions that aren’t answered in the book. I’d be happy to do my best to answer them.”

Why should he feel embarrassed offering me that kindness?

“Thank you, Matt,” I said.

After a moment, I realized why perhaps he was feeling sheepish. Why, it had only been earlier that he and Lucian had nearly fought, while I stood there gaping.

“I’m sorry,” I said, needing to clear the air.

He lifted his gaze back to mine. Now, it filled with confusion.

To clarify, I added, “I’m sorry… for Lucian.”