Chapter 41

Aria’s POV

“You don’t need to apologize for Lucian,” Matt said quickly.

I shook my head. “I do. His behavior was out of line, and instead of trying to clear up the misunderstanding, I went along with him and left you there.”

“It’s fine, Aria.”

“It isn’t,” I insisted. “I should have corrected Lucian. But he was acting all possessive, which he never does, and I…” I was saying too much, finding Matt too easy to talk to, so I quickly shut my mouth.

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Matt said.

“But –”

“I’m not offended, Aria. Though I am worried about you.”

“Worried?”

He pressed his lips hard together, like he was worried he was the one who said too much this time. But then he spoke, “You’ve always had a blind spot where Lucian is involved. It’s concerned me, but I’ve held my tongue. I wanted you to be happy.” His almost smile tugged into a frown. “You don’t look very happy right now.”

He was right to assume that. I’d always tried to make the best about my situation with Lucian, but the honest truth was, I hadn’t been happy in a long time.

“That won’t matter soon,” I told him.

He tilted his head slightly in question.

“Promise you won’t tell anyone,” I said.

“Who would I tell?” he asked.

“Anyone,” I said. All it would take was for one person to leak the secret of what was truly going on between Lucian and me, and I would somehow be blamed.

Until Lucian signed those divorce papers, for the sake of the pack and my reputation, we had to keep things quiet. Then, with my divorce and the money I made as Dr. A, I would leave the pack and never have to worry about any of this ever again.

“Promise me, Matt,” I said. Maybe I shouldn’t tell him at all, but as someone who had been there in the past, who understood some of my struggle, he might offer some advice that I undoubtedly needed to hear. I kept falling back into Lucian. Someone like Matt would remind me of all the reasons that was a terrible idea.

“I promise,” he said firmly, fully looking me in the eye. He was not a man who took promises lightly. I knew he wouldn’t tell.

Glancing around, I made sure no one was listening. Even then, I still lowered my voice to a whisper, “I’m trying to divorce Lucian.”

Matt’s eyes went wide for only a moment. When he recovered, a sense of satisfaction pulled at his features. He never revealed too much emotion, so this, for him, felt like a massive exception.

Truly, he must have really disliked Lucian, or at least disliked the thought of Lucian and I together.

“You say ‘trying to divorce’…” Matt said.

“He’s been refusing to sign the paperwork,” I replied.

Matt’s good mood immediately soured. “So he’s trapping you in the marriage.”

“He’ll sign the papers eventually,” I said.

“You’re so sure of it?”

“He doesn’t love me, Matt. He never really has. I’ve been helpful and present. I’ve cooked and cleaned and managed things. Now that he has to do these things on his own, he’s floundering.”

“When he was being possessive…?”

I lowered my head with shame. “I thought maybe he was coming around. This isn’t the first time he’s disappointed me. I don’t know why it’s taking me so long to accept that he will never come around. The divorce is what I need, and then… freedom…”

Matt nodded critically, even as his features softened somewhat. He showed no outward signs of judgement. No disgust. No pity.

“I won’t say anything to anyone,” he reaffirmed and gratitude filled me.

It felt so good for someone else to know and to understand. I didn’t have to explain myself to Matt. He knew me well enough, and had seen enough interactions between Lucian and me, to be able to piece the entire thing together himself.

“I only ever wanted you to find happiness,” Matt said.

“I know,” I replied.

“Maybe now you will,” he added.

“Maybe.”

I felt too vulnerable and exposed, having brought this up with him. Looking down, I tapped my fingers against the edge of the book in front of me.

“I should get back to reading…”

“I understand,” Matt said and stood. “I need to pick out my book and return to the hospital. I don’t want to leave dad alone for too long.”

“Because of the protestors?”

“Not just them,” Matt said. “Some of those old healers look at my dad like he’s the answer to all their life problems. Really, I think they only see moneybags.”

I hadn’t considered that the old healers might try to move in behind Dr. A’s back. Perhaps I should request some security at his door. Given what happened earlier, with the protestors nearly breaching his room, it wouldn’t be unwarranted.

“Please excuse me,” Matt said, turned, and walked into the stacks.

The moment he was gone, Cathy bounded out of the aisle. Holding a tall stack of books, she rushed as quickly as she could to my table and sat down.

“Was that Matt you were talking to just now?” she asked excitedly.

I wanted to roll my eyes at her, but I was too worn out from the stress of that conversation.

Cathy glanced where Matt had gone. “He’s pretty cute. Cuter than I remember. All that muscle really filled him out. Do you think he’s single?”

“Cathy,” I hushed. “Aren’t you seeing Vincent?”

“Not presently,” Cathy replied. “But I wasn’t asking that with me in mind.” She gave me a pointed look. “You were always the one Matt was soft on, Aria. Why shouldn’t you have some fun?”

“I’m leaving as soon as I have the money,” I said. “Not to mention…” I waved vaguely to the area of my stomach.

Cathy huffed. “A good man wouldn’t care about that. I’m sure Matt would understand your… situation. As for you leaving, well… maybe he could give you a good enough reason to stay.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, immediately suspicious. “Do you want me to date him for my happiness, or so that I would potentially stay in the Nightfall pack?”

“I’m going to miss you,” Cathy replied. “I’ve never made that a secret. But your happiness is important to me above my missing you. I’m just not sure you’ll find what you are looking for by running away. Whereas with a man like Matt at your side…”

“Be serious, Cathy.”

“Who isn’t being serious? You liked him when you dated before, right? He just wasn’t Lucian. That was his problem. Well, now Lucian is out of the picture, so that shouldn’t be an issue anymore. He’s a good guy. Attractive, good job…”

“He’s a warrior,” I reminded her. “He could be gone for a long time and his work is dangerous. One day he might not come back.”

“We haven’t had a war in decades,” Cathy said.

“It’s not just that. I don’t know if I’m ready to date anyone, not even someone I’m comfortable with, like Matt. You should have seen the way I followed Lucian like a lost puppy. Until I can get over that, I don’t deserve to be with anyone else.”

“I’m not sure Matt would agree with that.”

“It doesn’t matter. That’s how I feel. I have to be on my own for a while first, to truly get over Lucian. Until then, Matt and I are just friends.”

“If you say so,” Cathy said, clearly unconvinced.

Just then, Matt reemerged from the stacks, holding a book. He turned and glanced at me as he walked by. When our eyes caught, he started to smile.

It was a handsome smile.

“If you are just friends,” Cathy said, “Then why does he look at you like you hung the moon?”