Chapter 70

Lucian’s POV

After a moment, I shook the thoughts away. Little good it did to dwell on the past now, and on the things I couldn’t change. Aria was gone from my life now, just like Dr. A was soon to be. While there are holes in my daily life, places that once Aria had filled with brightness and goodness, she was gone now and not returning.

I needed to continue my own path forward now.

Alone.

Ignoring the recurring pang inside of me, I turned back toward the door. As soon as I opened it, Sheila’s annoyed voice snapped at me.

“Did you enjoy your little private chat with Dr. A?”

“What are you talking about?” I snapped, perhaps too harshly. Since splitting with Aria, I’d found that most of my patience was lacking, especially when it came to Sheila. Her behavior these past few months had been unacceptable at best, but the guilt had forced me through.

Now, with Sheila’s infertility hopefully cured, perhaps the shackles that tied me to Sheila’s whims would be loosened. Maybe, someday in the near future, I wouldn’t have to live with the bitter guilt every moment anymore.

“I heard you. When I asked if you wanted to have children with me, you said no. But I know you only said that because Dr. A was in the room, listening. How long have you two been having an affair?” Her tone was accusatory. Her eyes sharp and glaring.

“I don’t have that kind of relationship with Dr. A,” I said firmly, unwilling to entertain this nonsense.

“If that’s true, then you won’t mind if we start trying right away,” Sheila said.

“Trying?”

“To get me pregnant,” she said, as if that answer should have been obvious.

“With your fertility restored, you don’t need to stay with me,” I suggested. “You could go and find a proper mate.”

Her eyes widened a moment, before they filled with tears. “So you admit you only supported me because I was infertile? Now that I’m healed, you don’t want me anymore!”

Fresh guilt washed through me. Damn, she knew just what to say to make me feel like the world’s biggest asshole.

“If you aren’t fooling around with Dr A, and if Aria truly is out of the picture, then there’s no reason that you shouldn’t want to have kids with me.”

In a way, she was right. With my mating bond broken with Aria, I was free to have children with someone else, even Sheila. And maybe, because of our past, I even owed it to Sheila to try once more to make things work with her and give her the children she wanted.

Yet, as I took a step toward her, a new wave of sickness washed over me, twisting my stomach so tightly, I felt like I might be sick. Immediately, I took a step backwards to where I was and some of the revulsion eased up somewhat.

Odd. Did it only happen when I tried to go closer to Sheila? Was this some type of new side effect of the broken bond? Or was it my own disinterest in having children with Sheila manifesting inside of me?

“Both,” my wolf whispered inside of me. “We do not want this one as our mate. She is unworthy of carrying our pups.”

“I owe her for what I’ve done to her,” I reminded my wolf.

He remained unconvinced. “She is unworthy, regardless of the past.”

While I struggled, Sheila glared at me. As I refused to show my pain on my face, I kept my expression passive and calm the entire time. To her, it seemed as if I had taken a step toward her, only to then immediately take a step backwards instead.

She was still waiting for his response to her statement.

She wouldn’t believe me if I told her about the pain or the aching hollow that pulsed inside of me ever since breaking the mate bond with Aria. To convince her to give me more time, I needed a more obvious reason.

“It’s too soon,” I said. “Legally, I am still married to Aria. Until that is resolved, I cannot tie myself to another in any way, especially through children.”

Sheila narrowed her eyes at me. Her frown told me she was dissatisfied, but as all that I said was provable fact, she couldn’t dispute it. “Fine. The doctor said I wouldn’t get pregnant until after my next cycle anyway.”

I bit back a sigh of relief. This reasoning gave me some time, even if it was a handful of weeks, before this issue would resurface again.

Maybe, in that time, the emptiness of the missing mate bond would heal and I’d be in a position to move forward. Perhaps I would even see Sheila in a new light, rather than with the repulsion that coursed through me now.

“Time will not make you desire this one,” my wolf warned. “It will only make us miss our mate more.”

“The mating bond is broken,” I said in my mind. “Aria is gone. It was what she wanted.”

“If that is true, why did she look so sad? Why did her wolf howl so sorrowfully?”

“I didn’t hear anything,” I said.

My wolf, perhaps in mimicry of the wolf he perceived, howled mournfully within my mind. It was an aching, saddening sound. So lonely and miserable.

I had not heard such a thing, but even if I did…

“Aria wanted this,” I told my wolf more firmly. “We simply gave her the freedom to pursue what and who she truly wanted.”

My wolf did not respond with words. Instead, he simply howled again.

Aria’s POV

Returning to my office, I rushed into my private office, where I closed and locked the door behind me. After dealing with Lucian and Sheila, I needed a minute alone, even from my friends.

I felt off-kilter, unbalanced, as the emptiness in my chest ached and ached.

My treacherous thoughts kept the memory of the past few moments on a repeated loop. Over and over again, I saw Sheila turn her excited gaze to Lucian and ask if he was ready to have children with her.

Lucian might have said no for now, but who could be sure if he meant it. Maybe he just didn’t want Dr. A to view him poorly, believing he had moved on from Aria so quickly.

He couldn’t have meant no for real. He’d been waiting so long to be able to have Sheila back on his arm. Now that she was, I imagined they wouldn’t wait anymore to start their life together.

Lucian might have told me as Aria that he needed some time to get the divorce to happen, but I imagined things would start moving much quicker if Sheila were to become pregnant.

Bile rose in my throat at the thought.

Sitting in my desk chair, I placed my hands over my belly, closed my eyes, and tried to relax. This stress wasn’t good for the baby. And seeing Lucian again so soon had only caused me monumental stress.

I needed more space between us. My plan had always been to leave the back, and soon. But perhaps even saying ‘soon’ was too vague. I needed a more direct timeline. The sooner the better.

In fact, I needed to make a vow to myself. Yes. As soon as Caleb’s money clears my bank account, I would leave town.