Chapter 97

Lucian’s POV

I wasn’t sure at first what I was looking at. Even though the book was very clearly labeled diary, I couldn’t fathom that something so personal would be something that Aria would have willingly left behind.

She took what she did when she left, but never came back for anything else. I could only assume that she had abandoned this diary on purpose. Had she wanted me to read it?

Maybe she expected me to just throw it away.

Curiosity took hold over me, and grabbing the book, I slowly lifted it up from the drawer. The edges of the book were frayed. She must have been writing in this same diary for many years.

Opening it, I half expected to find musings of a teenage girl writing hearts around the name of the boy she liked.

Instead, I caught the beginning of a story that felt familiar, but I couldn’t understand why right away. Had she shared this story with me when we talked?

But… when was the last time we actually sat down to talk? Perhaps when we had been dating. That felt like a lifetime ago now, here at the end of us.

Through Aria’s eyes, I read about the terror of her being stalked, including how someone had chased her all the way through a parking garage. Right as she opened the door to escape through the stairwell, her savior stood there.

He stepped in, coming to her rescue, scaring off the threat while treating Aria gently.

Jealousy rose inside of me for a harsh minute, seeing the way she talked about this man. She called him handsome, said he had eyes that could look straight down into her soul. Above all, she said it was love at first sight.

I knew in an instant I wanted to marry this man. He was so brave, so kind and gentle to me, while so protective. I felt safe with him in a way that I didn’t know possible. I need to work hard, to prove myself worthy of being his bride.

His Luna.

That’s right, Diary, someday I will marry Alpha King Lucian.

What he said to me, I’ll never forget. I’ll carry it in my heart for the rest of my life.

“Life is only made beautiful because of the tragic shortness of it. Love is more vibrant. Connections between people and family deepen, never knowing when it could be the last time you say goodbye. If I lived forever, eventually I would grow numb to the world and how precious every moment is. I want to live life to the fullest for every moment, developing strong connections, strong love, for as long as I can.”

I ran my fingers over the quote, noticing how it was achingly transcribed here in perfect detail. She truly had listened intently, to be able to write it down like this.

I knew, because I had said this. I still remembered it, though it seemed so long ago. I had been a different man then, one still optimistic about what life could offer me.

That had been before everything happened with Sheila. Before I realized how people could never fully be trusted. Even friends.

I had given up on love and even deep connection. I’d dove entirely into my work, trying to make Nightfall pack the best it could be for the people within it, even if I stopped expecting the best for me.

Looking back, I still thought of this moment from time to time.

I had no idea the person I had saved that day was Aria, or that she would have taken the words to heart.

Had she truly fallen in love with me in that moment? Had she been holding onto that love since?

Flipping a few pages ahead, I skimmed through a few moments, where she wrote about some of our dates, our engagement, and then the night before our wedding.

Diary, I never thought a person could be as happy as I am now, and I will do everything in my power to ensure this happiness persists for both Lucian and for me.

Julia and Harold tell me that it’s traditional for the Luna to become a housewife. I pushed back at first, but they are adamant. If that’s what is expected for me, I will see it through.

I’m determined to be the best wife and Luna I can be. Soon, maybe Lucian will consider me one of those vibrant loves he talked about. Honestly I can’t wait.

My heart sank reading that. It was terrible advice from my parents, but the weight weighed on me. I never even knew they had this conversation. What kind of husband wouldn’t know that about his new wife?

Had we truly never talked? About anything?

I skipped ahead.

Lucian forgot our first anniversary, but he’s been so busy, I can’t blame him. An Alpha King can’t be expected to remember everything, can he? Next year, I’ll make sure to leave a few notes for him so he can be better prepared. For now, I’ll place the gift I got for him in his closet without saying anything. There’s no sense embarrassing him over this.

Already, one year in, I had started drifting.

I dreaded reading forward, but I needed to see all of my failings from Aria’s own perspective.

The next year…

He forgot our anniversary again. I left notes this time. I know I must be understanding. The Alpha King is always busy. But… it seems more and more he is too busy, even to spend time with me.

Was this because I didn’t conceive when we tried?

“No,” I said aloud, as if she could hear me.

I couldn’t read anymore. The hurt written on these pages cut straight through me like a knife.

Here, in my hands, I held our entire relationship. I could see Aria’s love for me blooming off the pages, only to be stilted more and more as time went on.

Why hadn’t I noticed sooner how dedicated she was to me? How much she loved me? How much she was simply waiting for me to love her too?

I had been busy, committed to my work. But I shouldn’t have used that as an excuse so much. I should have made time for my wife, to talk and learn about her and her interests. Her hopes and dreams.

Mom and Dad told me earlier that they finally agreed to the divorce because they felt Aria had held herself back long enough for my sake.

With pain, I now realized I didn’t know what she had held herself back from.

I was right to lose her, when I had never fought to keep her in the first place, not until it was far too late.

Holding the diary, closed now, I looked down at it like it might hold the answers for what I was supposed to do next. But I knew it didn’t. In its pages were only the story of a love gone wrong.

Now, the only thing he could do was the very same thing he’d been doing from the start.

Nothing.

Returning the book to the drawer, he closed it. Then, with a heavy heart, he turned and walked away.