Chapter 11

Celeste

I knew what I needed to do in order to remedy the situation with my dress.

The next night, after I had fished the cornflower blue dress out of the garbage and kept it hidden in a box in my closet all night, I fished it out. I practically gagged at the smell, and prayed that the stains hadn’t sat there for too long.

My brother was out, but he would be home soon. I only just got home after my classes for the day; I had to be fast. Quickly and quietly, like a mouse, I ran to the bathroom and got to work.

I found an article online with instructions on how to get stains out of satin fabric, and I followed those instructions to the letter.

The cold water ran over my hands as I scrubbed at the delicate fabric of the dress.

The memory of the trash can's pungent aroma was still fresh in my mind. I couldn't believe I had to go through all this just because of some cruel remarks; the dress had looked perfect on me, or at least, that's what I had believed.

I still never understood why Jack was so adamant about my modesty. He never explained it, and I had grown too fearful over the years to ask anymore. All I knew was that, for some reason, Jack found it to be of the utmost importance to keep me hidden away from the world.

Once, when I was younger, I managed to get a bit of an explanation out of him. He was drunk, and he must have been feeling particularly emotional that night. I gently prodded at him for some sort of answer; he had only just forbade me from going to a school dance.

“You don’t understand what it’s like in the real world,” he had said, slurring his words. “It’s dangerous. I’m only trying to keep you safe, Celeste. I’m your big brother; it’s my job.”

I still remembered the way that he looked at me then. For the first and only time, he actually seemed to have a bit of love for me in his cold eyes. I remembered how he touched my hand, how he brushed a bit of hair behind my ear.

That was why I was so reluctant to cut myself off from him whenever Fiona brought it up; somewhere, inside that hard shell, my brother did care about me.

But it didn’t mean that the things he did to keep me ‘safe’ were the right things to do. And maybe, just maybe, I could eventually work up enough confidence to show him that he didn’t need to bully me and keep me hidden to keep me safe.

I had cranked the shower up loud to cover the sounds of my washing, using a little shampoo as a makeshift detergent.

Every stain that disappeared under my fingers, every whiff of the trash smell that washed away, was a tiny victory.

“You can do this,” I whispered to myself, urging the dress back to its former glory.

Once satisfied, I carefully squeezed out the excess water and wrapped the dress in a towel. The weight of my secret pressed down on me as I tiptoed past the living room.

It should've been a straight shot to my room, but fate seemed to have other plans.

There he was.

Matt, in all his charismatic glory, immersed in a video game next to my obnoxious brother. I'd always found him attractive. Who wouldn’t?

But tonight, there was a particular magnetism about him. Maybe it was because he had unknowingly been a part of my secret.

As if sensing my gaze, Matt looked up.

Our eyes locked, and for a split second, the world seemed to pause. My heart raced. He waved, that classic, charming grin spreading across his face.

Heat surged into my cheeks, and panic gripped me. Without thinking, I turned and bolted upstairs, the wrapped dress clutched tightly in my grasp.

Reaching my room, I leaned against the door, catching my breath. Why did I run?

Maybe because, for a fleeting moment, I had imagined him seeing me in that dress at the ball.

Maybe because when I looked at him, I only saw his shadowy face as he leaned over me in the bathtub, his husky voice as he told me to be a good girl.

But reality crashed down hard, reminding me of my place in this house, in this world.

Unwrapping the towel, I hung the dress in the closet, praying it would dry without any wrinkles. It looked so frail, hanging there, much like how I felt at that moment.

But there was a strength in it too, a resilience that mirrored my own.

Pulling out my phone, I scrolled through the messages. The one from Matt stood out, my heart doing that strange fluttering thing again. The temptation to confide in him was overwhelming. But no, that would just complicate things further.

There was a knock on my door. I jumped, quickly shutting my closet door.

“Yeah?” I called out.

“Celeste?” It was Jack. “Dinner's ready. Don't be a drama queen and come eat.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not hungry,” I replied, my voice steadier than I felt.

My door opened. Jack peered in, his cold eyes scanning the room. “You’re not hungry?” he asked, eyeing me up and down. “You’re lying, right?”

I swallowed. “I already ate,” I lied. “I went to the dining hall with Fiona after class.”

Jack stared at me for a few moments. I noticed how his eyes lingered on me, then flickered down to my belly.

“You on your period or something?” he growled.

My eyes widened. “Um… Excuse you?”

Jack simply shrugged. “Just checking. You were acting weird earlier. Don’t embarrass me; got it?”

I nodded, instantly recalling how I fled up the stairs when Matt saw me. He must have said something about it; but then, I realized that I could use this to my advantage. Maybe, if Jack thought that it was that time of the month for me, he would be less likely to think that I would go to the ball.

“Actually, I am,” I lied again. “It’s a bad one, too. I’ve been cramping like a—”

Suddenly, Jack made a face. “Alright, alright,” he glowered, withdrawing from the room. “I get it. Spare me the details. Sure you’re not hungry?”

I nodded. “Yep.”

He sighed, annoyance evident, and slipped out of the room. “Suit yourself.”

My door shut behind him. I waited until his footsteps faded before sinking onto my bed.

The dim glow from the streetlights outside filtered into my room, casting everything in a soft amber hue. I hugged my knees to my chest, thoughts of Matt and the upcoming ball swirling in my mind.

That night, as I tried to sleep, my eyes kept wandering over to my closet, where the dress was hanging. It was as though it would suddenly disappear from there, and I would open my closet door in the morning to find that it was gone, with only a wet spot on the floor where it had been dripping.

Finally, I managed to fall asleep. I had dreams of an alternate universe, one where I was bold and unapologetic, where I wore my dress with pride, and where Matt saw me—not just as Jack’s little sister, but as Celeste, a force to be reckoned with.

And I dreamed that I was pretty, and free, and loved.