Chapter 119

I wiped off the counters for the second time, sweating glistening on my forehead. Jack wanted me to deep-clean the kitchen, so here I was, cleaning it for the millionth time in the last week. It wasn’t a very original punishment, but I figured it could be worse. He hadn’t mentioned my lunch date with Matt, and I was hoping I’d be allowed to go out again soon. He couldn’t keep me locked in the house forever.

Eventually, Jack had to realize I was an adult and that I could make my own decisions. Matt wasn’t going anywhere. The more time we spent together, the less I could fathom ever being apart. I knew I should be more careful, that my heart was still a fragile thing, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from falling for him more and more.

Jack and his friends were in the living room, drinking beer and playing video games. I had no idea what game they were playing, but they were really getting into it. At one point, they were even shouting at the screen.

It looked fun, but I’d never been allowed to play. If Jack ever caught me messing with his game consoles, I knew he’d have lost it. They were some of his most prized possessions.

I finished the counter and moved on to the wiping off the stove. Jack wanted me to clean the inside of the oven, despite having done it the other day. I wanted to ask him how dirty he thought it was, but I refrained. I knew this wasn’t about cleaning. It was about punishment, and him exerting his control over me.

I let him because it was easier, but I couldn’t help but wonder when I’d finally reach my limit. Matt and Fiona were right. This couldn’t go on forever. I couldn’t let him treat me like this for the rest of my life. Eventually, I had to live for myself.

The idea of leaving here still scared me enough that I put it off and did as I was told. At least, for now.

Their game must have ended because Jack’s friend Henry wandered into the kitchen. He eyed me as he crossed to the fridge and grabbed another beer.

“Looks fun,” he remarked.

“It is,” I answered, bending to pull open the oven door so I could get started on the inside.

Henry gave a mean laugh, then walked back into the living room where my brother and a few of their other friends were waiting.

I heard Henry’s deep voice, then a few chuckles. My muscles tensed and I got to my feet, straining to hear them. They couldn’t see me from where I was standing, but I could just see the edge of the couch and the outline of Jack’s shoulder.

“I know she’s my sister and everything,” Jack started, “but I can’t understand what Matt sees in her. Matt and Celeste becoming a couple is by far the most shocking thing that has happened this year.”

His friends laughed, but Henry’s was the loudest. “Have you heard what people at school are saying?”

“Unfortunately,” Jack supplied. “Though I can’t exactly disagree with them, can I?”

Did they know I could hear them? Probably. Jack never shied away from dissing me to my face. Why should he stop his friends from doing it behind my back? He probably wanted me to hear.

“I heard someone say that Matt’s dating a five.”

My brother laughed. “That’s generous.”

I tried to tell myself not to let it bother me, to just get back to work and ignore them, but it didn’t really work. I inched close to them, tearing pricking at my eyes. Their opinions shouldn’t matter. I knew that, but I also knew they were right. It didn’t make any sense for Matt to like me. He was way out of my league. I’d know that from the beginning.

“Some people like to date down,” one of Jack’s other friends supplied. She gave a low, mean laugh. “Maybe it makes him feel better.”

“It certainly can’t make his eyes feel better,” Henry answered.

They laughed hard at this. My brother joined in.

“To each their own, I guess,” Jack said after a moment. “I wish I could say her looks were the worst part, but she doesn’t exactly have the greatest personality either. She’s shy and awkward. Half the time I don’t even want to talk to her.”

“That’s harsh,” the girl said with a low laugh.

Jack’s shoulders moved in a shrug. “The truth is often harsh.”

“Ouch,” Henry supplied.

“Honestly,” Jack continued. “Who could ever love her? I can barely bring myself to do it.”

Tears spilled over and tracked down my face. I wiped them away, but they didn’t stop coming. I always knew I wasn’t the best looking, but I didn’t know my brother thought I had a terrible personality, too. Hearing that was significantly worse than the stuff about not being hot enough.

I knew we had our issues, but I still thought he loved me.

I left my cleaning supplies in the kitchen and ran upstairs. The minute the door was closed, I sank to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. It took a while for the sobbing to let up, and I only got up from the floor when I notice my phone ringing.

I wiped my face and peered down at the screen. Matt was calling me for the second time.

I cleaned myself up a little, then picked up the phone. “Hey,” I said, doing my best to sound normal. “What’s up?”

He was silent for a moment, and I almost thought I must have missed him.

“Is everything okay?” he said. “You sound really upset.”

I let out a breath, trying to keep it together, but the tears started flowing again. “It’s nothing,” I said, but my voice sounded all wrong.

“No, it’s not. What happened?” He sounded really worried.

“I promise, it’s nothing,” I said, trying to reassure him.

“I’m coming over.”

I wiped my face and tried to get myself under control. The last thing I needed was to have Matt and Jack get into a fight over me. “No, you can’t. Jack’s here.”

“I’m already on my way,” he answered. I could hear his turn signal in the background.

“Alright, but park across the street. I’ll sneak out.”

“I’ll text you when I get there.”

“Okay,” I said, then hung up the phone.

I already felt better knowing Matt was on the way. Sure, it was risky to sneak out, but I couldn’t spend another moment in this house. I couldn’t bear to face my brother, knowing what he really thought about me.

The minute Matt texted me to tell me he was outside, I threw on my coat and tiptoed downstairs. Jack and his friends were playing another game, and I could hear Jack shouting at the screen.

I carefully picked my way to the back of the house and left through the back door. Then I ran around the side of the house and across the street. Matt was parked along the curb, and I slid into the passenger seat.

“We should go before he sees us.”

Matt didn’t respond, just put the car in gear and pulled back onto the street. We drove in silence until he turned into the park.

“What are we doing here?” I asked, my voice hoarse.

“There’s no one around,” he said, putting the car in park. The woods were silent, and we were the only people in the parking lot. “You can let it out.”

A sob escaped my lips.

Matt turned to me and ran his thumb over my cheek, wiping away a stray tear. “What happened?” he murmured.

I just shook my head, and he put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him. I turned my face into his chest and started to cry harder. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me even closer, burying his face in my hair.

It took a while before I stopped crying again.