Chapter 159

I was midway through my second month of captivity when Zoe came into my cell, a half-smile on her face.

“Come on,” she said, gesturing for me to follow her. “You’re getting a better room.”

I didn’t move at first. As much as I hated this room, it was familiar. Regardless of how nice Zoe seemed, I didn’t trust her. I didn’t trust any of them.

Then again, a new room could mean they were getting lax. Maybe they thought I was getting used to this place. Getting complacent. I was still training without complaint. Still sitting through awkward lunches with Ronan. Still getting beat up by Alyx and Jeremy every morning, only to spend the rest of the day lying in bed and wincing every time I had to move.

If they thought I was growing to like this place, then maybe they’d started making mistakes. After all, I was their Holy Maiden, or whatever they called it. They probably thought I’d come around eventually and return to the fold.

That was never going to happen, but it helped me if they believed that.

I forced myself to get up, my knee protesting. It was still healing from the morning when Alyx had slammed his boot into so hard, I’d crumbled to the ground, crying out in pain.

Zoe gave me a sympathetic look. “You’re looking really fit,” she said. “That training must really be doing something.”

I wouldn't know. My room didn’t have a mirror or a shower. I wiped myself off with a cloth by the sink every morning. I couldn’t even really remember what I looked like.

“Thanks,” I said, forcing myself to sound genuine.

She nodded, giving me a kind smile. I couldn’t tell how real it was. “Come on,” she said, turning to lead me from the room. “You’ll want to get changed before you meet Ronan.”

I still hadn’t changed out of my clothes from training, and I knew I smelled like body odor and sweat. I was beyond caring about that sort of thing.

“Alright,” I said.

She took me down the tunnel, and then up to the main floor. A few guards walked past, giving me curious looks. They had guns thrown over their shoulders, more tied to their belts. I didn’t know any of them by name, but I was getting used to their faces.

Zoe took me down a hallway I hadn’t seen before, then up a back staircase. We were as far from Ronan’s office as possible, which I guess made sense. He wouldn’t house me in a place that would make it easy for me to get to him.

If I had the opportunity, I’d kill him. I knew I didn’t have another choice. He wanted to hurt me, and worse, he wanted to hurt Matt. They still hadn’t caught him, but I knew they were looking. I’d heard a whispered conversion between the twins that confirmed as much.

Clearly, Matt couldn’t find a way to get in here, and I was grateful. He needed to stay as far away as possible. It wasn’t safe for him here, and I couldn’t stand the thought of him getting hurt. The nightmares still haunted me. Every night I had to watch him die. It was far more tortuous than the shit Alyx and Jeremy put me through.

Zoe stopped at a door at the end of the hall. An armed guard already stood outside. I didn’t know his name, but I recognized him. He was about my age, with close-cropped black hair and dark eyes. He nodded at Zoe but didn’t spare me a glance.

She opened the door and gestured for me to go in first. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to proceed her into the room.

It was big and smelled faintly of dust. The walls were a pale shade of blue, and a yellow comforter covered the double bed. There was a wardrobe, a desk, and a narrow window.

“The bathroom’s there,” Zoe said, pointing to a closed door. “Your food will be brought to you like usual.” She checked her watch, a small frown on her face. “I have to go but take some time to get comfortable. Someone will be by to get you for lunch.”

“Okay,” I said.

“There are clean clothes for you in the wardrobe.”

I nodded.

She turned and left, closing the door behind her with a click. I heard the bolt turn from the outside. It might have been fancier, but it was still a cell. Still a prison.

I sighed and walked over to the bathroom. The light flickered on, and I peered around at the small space. There was a shower stall, a toilet, and a sink. Nothing else. A towel hung on a hook behind the door.

I approached the sink, where a mirror hung on the wall above it. My face and shoulders came into view. There were dark circles under my eyes, and a collection of bruises on my face–some purple still, and others faded to a greenish yellow. They didn’t last long, but Alyx and Jeremy always found creative ways to give me new ones.

I shrugged off my jacket, letting it fall to the floor at my feet. Underneath, I had on a black tank top. I’d lost weight, and my collarbones stood out in harsh relief. The muscles in my arms stood out, my shoulders defined, and a slight bulge to my biceps. I didn’t know if it was because I was a werewolf, or just the training, but I’d changed.

I looked sharper, harder. It was everything I used to want, but I didn't feel anything when I looked at myself. Just dull, apathetic. Those mismatching eyes were mine, but I didn’t see anything familiar about them. The light was gone.

My cheekbones and jaw were more defined, and my hair was longer. Smudges of dirt covered my chest and face.

For the first time, I pulled the change forward where I could see it. My eyes flashed gold, and my canines elongated. My face took on a wolf-like shape, and I quickly blew out a breath, my heart pounding. The shift receded, and I looked human again. It was so disorienting. I sank down onto the toilet and sat with my head in my hands.

I didn’t know who I was anymore.

When I got myself under control, I took a warm shower, reveling in the hot water on my sore skin. I changed into another pair of black cargo pants and a black shirt. I put my wet hair up in a ponytail and sat on the edge of my bed.

Soon there was a knock on my door, and then the bolt turned.

Beck walked in, an easy smile on his face. “Hey, Celeste. Wow, you look nice.”

“Thanks,” I said, smiling at him in return. Beck was the youngest of his brothers, and the kindest. It was hard to hate him, though I managed to hold on by the skin of my teeth.

I made a point of being nice to Beck, and he seemed to have taken a liking to me. Whenever he came to get me for lunch, or brought me my other meals, he always talked my ear off.

I stood up and followed him out of the room. The guard eyed me with a stern expression, then fell into step behind us.

Beck was talking about a video game he liked, but I was only half-listening. We took a different route to get to Ronan’s office, and I memorized the hallways and doors. Every time they took me somewhere new, I made a point of doing so. I needed to have a layout in my mind if I ever hoped to escape.

We came to a stop outside of Ronan’s office. The twins were stationed in their usual spot.

“You look different,” one of them said. I didn’t even try to tell them apart.

“Cleaner,” the other one added.

Beck looked at me, his face a little red. “You look pretty,” he said.

“I had a shower,” I mumbled. “And thanks.” I forced myself to smile at Beck, and his blush deepened.

The door opened, and Kai stood in front of me. “He’s waiting for you,” he said.

I nodded and said goodbye to Beck. He watched me go with bright eyes. He was young and innocent, but I wasn’t above using him to get out of here. If he had a little crush on me, all the better. I was beyond morality. A plan started to form in my mind.

The more time I spent in this place, the more I worried I’d never get out. I couldn’t let that happen. I’d use whoever I had to, even sweet Beck, to escape.