Chapter 165

I didn’t wake until the car shut off, and Ted carefully nudged my arm. I shot upright and lashed out. He winced as my punch landed hard on his shoulder.

“Jesus, Celeste,” Jack said.

The memories slowly trickled back in. I was in the car with my brother and Matt. I was safe.

“Sorry.” I gave Ted a sheepish look.

He waved me off. “Don’t worry about it. Good hit.”

I nodded and peered through the front window. We were parked outside a motel. The neon sign gleamed blue and pink in the dim light. It wasn’t snowing anymore, but mounds of it covered the parking lot. A light was on in the office and in one room. Aside from a single red Toyota, we were the only ones here.

“We’re going to stop here for the night,” Seth said.

“Okay.”

I got out of the car and stretched my arms over my head. Everything felt sore, and I rolled my neck. Using that much power took a lot out of me. Despite sleeping for hours, I still felt exhausted. That, and ravenously hungry.

I tried to access the earth again, just to see if I still felt its power, but it lay dormant. Whatever rush of emotions allowed me to tap into that power, they weren’t strong enough now. My desperation drove me over the edge, but all I felt now was a mild sense of relief. I was out. Finally, I was free.

The others got out of the car and crowded around me.

“I should pick up clothes and stuff,” Ted said, glancing around at us. “We stand out like a sore thumb. And we need food.”

“Yes, please,” Seth said, rubbing his flat stomach.

Ted nodded in agreement.

“Me and Celeste will share a room,” Jack said, eyeing the motel with a frown. “I’ll go–”

I cut him off. “I’ll stay with Matt.”

He looked like he was going to protest, but the glare I gave him made him hesitate. For once, he didn’t seem to know what to say. He stared at me like I was a stranger for a moment. He had to understand that things were different now. I’d changed. Our situation had changed. It wasn’t his place to order me around anymore.

“Matt.” Jack turned to the man hovering beside me. “Are you good with that arrangement?”

“Yes.” It was the first time I’d heard him speak, and the cadence of his deep voice was like music to my ears.

Jack rolled his eyes and stomped over to the office. Ted looked amused, and Seth looked hesitant. “I contacted the others,” he said after a beat. “Jenna said they’re going to drive back to town. We’re supposed to meet them there.”

“Town?” Matt said slowly.

“We’re to meet Nina and Enzo.”

I glanced at Matt. His jaw was clenched. He didn’t argue, but the look on his face surprised me. Did something happen between him and his friends?

He noticed my stare, and his eyes flicked to mine. He held my gaze, the expression on his face smoothing out. Neither of us moved, and a moment later, we both looked away. I didn’t want to talk to him in front of the others.

Ted looked between us with his eyebrows raised. Seth was staring hard at the ground.

Jack returned a moment later with the room keys. He handed me one and gave the other to Seth and Ted. Apparently, this meant he got his own room.

“Come on,” I said, turning to look at Matt. “We’re in room ten.”

He nodded and followed me across the lot. Jack watched us go but didn’t comment.

The moment we were inside the room, the tension went out of my shoulders. Matt closed the door and flicked on the light. It was a dingy room with two double beds, a TV from the ‘90s, and a questionable bathroom. I snorted when I saw the two beds. Jack was so transparent.

Matt stood behind me. He didn’t speak, but I could hear his uneven breathing.

I turned to face him. Neither of us had any luggage. I heard the car pulling out of the lot as Ted left to get us all some supplies. We couldn’t exactly walk around decked out in military gear. Fatigues didn’t exactly make it easy to keep a low profile.

“I hope Ted gets a lot of food.”

“Oh, he will. He loves his food.” Matt’s eyes roved over my face, and that pinched expression returned.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

He shook his head, then let out a shaky breath. “It’s been six months.”

“Five months, eighteen days,” I corrected.

He looked away, his dark hair falling across his forehead. He was in desperate need of a haircut and a shave. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

He looked good, if not a bit ragged. I wanted to reach for him but didn’t know how. Five months, eighteen days was a long time to be apart. Still, I felt the safest with him. Even safer than with my brother. I was a werewolf now, and I knew how Jack felt about the wolves.

“Why are you sorry?” I asked, frowning.

“It’s all my fault. I couldn’t help you.”

I shook my head. “That place was a fortress. I’m glad you never got in there.”

He couldn’t seem to respond. He turned his face away, his jaw tight. I wanted to collapse into him, and have him hold me tight, but I couldn’t until I got through to him. He needed to know it wasn’t his fault.

“Ronan hates you. I don’t know why.”

“I killed his brother,” he said after a beat. “In the war.”

“Miles?”

He nodded.

My eyes widened. “I don’t think Alyx knows.”

“No, or he would have killed me already, or tried to, at least.” His eyes met mine. “We were fighting, and Miles was trying to hurt Nina. I did what I had to do.”

“I know.”

He nodded.

“It wasn’t your fault, Matt. I know you tried, but there was nothing you could do. I don’t want you to blame yourself for this. If you’re going to blame someone, then blame Alyx, or Ronan, or their entire fucked up family.”

“I just–”

“No,” I cut him off. “I survived. I’m here. I made it out, and you’re here, and we’re safe. That’s what matters.”

His face crumpled. I couldn’t wait any longer. I stepped into him and wrapped my arms around his too-narrow waist. God, I hadn’t been able to tell through the jacket, but he’d lost weight, a lot of it. He was still muscular and fit, but a lot skinnier than he had been.

A beat later, he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair. A tear trickled down my cheek, and I buried my face in his shoulder.

“I missed you,” I said.

His voice sounded broken when he answered. “I missed you, too. God, you have no idea.”

I hugged him tighter. “I know, Matt. I know.”

“I love you,” he breathed. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Never apologize.”

He hugged me closer, and I breathed in his scent. Coffee and the earth just after rain. I never thought I’d smell that again.

“I love you,” I said, leaning back to look at his tear-streaked face. “I love you.”

He kissed me, and I dragged my hands through his hair. I could taste the salt from his tears on his lips.

“You need a haircut,” I muttered when he pulled away.

He laughed, and it was the greatest sound in the world.