Chapter 31

Celeste

Blocking Matt sent a whirlwind of emotions crashing down on me. I felt a mixture of pride, sadness, and overwhelming regret.

At first, I was able to keep myself busy by cleaning the entire house from top to bottom, just as Jack ordered.

As I moved around the house, the rhythmic motions of cleaning became almost therapeutic. Jack’s words echoed in my mind, reminding me of my ‘duties’. But I wasn’t cleaning for him; it was a welcomed distraction, a physical way to keep my mind off of Matt.

The sound of the vacuum roared, drowning out my thoughts as I methodically went over the carpet. The repetitive back-and-forth motions were soothing, keeping my racing heart in check. With every swipe of the cloth over the dirty surfaces, every piece of trash picked up, and every dish scrubbed clean, I tried to erase the lingering thoughts of our last encounter.

I took particular time polishing the wooden coffee table, letting the lemony scent of the cleaner envelop me. The wood gleamed, reflecting my own face back at me—a face that was determined, a face that was trying to move forward.

But that face was also filled with overwhelming sadness, because the fantasy that I had the chance to experience at the ball was now over. For good.

By the time I had finished, the house was spotless. Each room was a testament to my hard work, every surface shining. But even then, my mind still felt muddied with thoughts of Matt. I tried reading in my room for a while, but I couldn’t.

My room felt suffocating, so I headed over to Fiona’s.

“Hey, what's going on? You look like you've just seen a ghost,” Fiona remarked, her bright blue eyes widening at the sight of me as I walked in her door.

I took a deep breath and sat down on her couch. “I can’t stop thinking about last night,” I whispered, staring at the carpet.

Fiona’s eyes softened. “You miss him already?”

I nodded, feeling a tear slide down my cheek.

With a comforting squeeze on my shoulder, Fiona tried to console me. “Look, you can always find someone else. And soon you won’t be crushing on your brother’s friend anymore. You’ll move on.”

I shook my head, pulling my knees up to my chest. “It's not that simple. Nobody looks at me the way they look at other girls. I need to lose weight, Fi. I need to look...prettier.”

“Oh, come on, Celeste!” Fiona said, frustration evident in her voice. “You’re beautiful! You just need a little push, a boost to your confidence, maybe.”

I stared blankly at the floor. “Jack doesn’t even want me going to the gym. He says it’s a waste of time. He says that I would… embarrass him.”

“Jack doesn't control your life, Celeste!” Fiona's voice held a defiant edge. “You’re an adult. If you want to make a change for yourself, then do it for yourself. Not for Jack. Not for Matt. For you.”

She was right. For as long as I could remember, Jack had been dictating my life choices. I never understood why he wanted to keep me hidden away and ugly. Sometimes, I wondered if there was something else behind it.

“I don’t know, Fiona,” I murmured, chewing my lower lip nervously. “If Jack found out…”

“Screw Jack!” Fiona exclaimed, leaping up from her seat. “Celeste, this is your body. It’s your health. Do you want to work on yourself or not?”

I scrunched up my nose. “Well, yeah, but—”

“But nothing,” Fiona hissed, placing her hands on her hips. “That’s it. We’re going to the gym. We’ll do it together; I really need to start exercising and eating better, too.”

I fell silent for a long time, thinking. It was tempting… I had enjoyed going with Fiona that one time, aside from Sabrina’s overwhelming presence. I craved change. I craved a better version of myself.

If Jack found out, it could be disastrous, though… But at the same time, I could handle it. Maybe I could convince him to see how good it was for me to be working out.

Taking a deep breath, I finally spoke. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

Fiona’s blue eyes lit up. “That’s the spirit!”

…

The next few weeks were a blur of determination and sweat. With Fiona by my side, we hit the gym regularly, consumed healthier meals, and even started morning walks.

Slowly, I felt a change, not just in my body but in my spirit. My clothes were starting to feel a little looser, sure, but the biggest change was that the reflection staring back at me from the mirror seemed... happier.

Jack didn’t seem to notice, either.

I did a good job of keeping my head down at the gym, and Fiona and I went early in the morning, when no one else was there except for a few athletes who were too busy focusing on their own workouts to notice us.

I still wore baggy clothes around him, so he was unlikely to notice the minor changes in my body. Those changes were reserved for me and me alone, in the privacy of my bedroom.

Then one day, the inevitable happened. Fiona fell sick. It was flu season, after all.

“I can’t go today,” she croaked over the phone, her hoarse voice sounding like gravel. “But don’t let that stop you. Keep up the momentum, Celeste!”

Nervously, I agreed.

Walking into the gym alone felt daunting. I already missed Fiona’s lively chatter and how she always made me forget about the bundle of nerves that never seemed to leave my body. But I had to do this for myself. Fiona couldn’t always be with me everywhere I went.

The gym was quiet as usual. It was early, barely even six in the morning. The lights were dim, and the only sounds were coming from a weightlifter in the corner who was mumbling to himself as he counted his reps.

Smiling, I let out a soft sigh of relief. I made my way over to the treadmill to warm up.

As I adjusted the treadmill settings, preparing for my daily routine, I glanced up and froze.

Matt was walking in, earphones plugged in, his gym bag slung over one shoulder.

When he entered, it was as if the atmosphere in the room shifted tangibly. Even though I had seen him countless times, his appearance today had an effect that was hard to shake off. Maybe it was just the fact that I hadn’t seen him since I blocked him, but I felt as though I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

The first thing that caught my eye was the taut fit of his gray shirt, hugging his well-defined muscles in a way that made it clear he frequented the gym. Every movement highlighted the play of his muscles beneath the fabric, accentuating his broad shoulders and the tapering V-shape of his torso.

He wore a pair of light gray sweatpants that fitted him just right, complementing his tall, lean frame. His sneakers were a clean white, a stark contrast against the dark floor.

But amidst this near-perfect image, there was a surprising softness to him. His dark, wavy hair was slightly tousled, as though he had just run his fingers through it, or maybe he hadn’t bothered to style it after waking up.

And those eyes—usually sharp and attentive—now carried a sheen of fatigue. The slight puffiness underneath suggested a restless night, or perhaps thoughts that kept him awake.

Despite the evident sleepiness, though, those eyes still retained their magnetic charm and pulled me in without effort. He was… cute like this.

But instead of being happy to see him, my heart began to race as my face started burning with a mixture of embarrassment and surprise.

In my baggy, stained, oversized gym clothes, with my hair pulled into a messy bun and dark circles under my eyes, this was the last way I wanted him to see me.

He was never here this early. Why now? Why, on the one day that Fiona wasn’t with me, did I have to run into him? Would he notice me? Would he tell my brother?

“Oh, god,” I murmured, jerking my head down as I stared at the treadmill screen with wide eyes.

Why me?