Chapter 37

Celeste

The pathway leading across the quad and up to the campus center was awash in the soft glow of the setting sun, casting everything in a mellow orange hue. Students bustled in and out of the squat brick building, chattering happily with their friends as they either came to or from a warm meal.

However, while the world was softening and preparing for the evening, my heart was racing.

Up ahead, Matt's familiar form was approaching, and he was heading straight for us. My grip tightened instinctively around the mask, and without giving it a second thought, I slid it behind my back.

Please don’t let him see it, I thought to myself, a lump rising in my throat. It was a different mask than the old one, but it would certainly still raise red flags in his mind. He was smart; he would put two and two together in a heartbeat.

Matt’s eyes found mine, but I quickly averted my gaze, hoping he wouldn’t notice the bright green contacts that were a far cry from my usual mismatched hues.

“Celeste,” he greeted with a hint of surprise in his voice. “Hey, Fiona. What are you two up to?”

Fiona smirked. “Just out walking,” she said, still holding my arm tightly.

Just then, Matt’s eyes trailed over my attire, lingering momentarily on the contours of my jacket. My leggings still showed from the knees down, and I hadn’t zipped up my coat just yet, so a sliver of my sports bra could be seen beneath.

“It seems you decided to take my advice about getting more suitable workout clothes,” Matt said, sounding a little surprised. “They suit you.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks. “Thanks, Matt,” I mumbled, willing my voice to stay steady. “I figured you were right, about the machines. I don’t wanna fall again.”

“Attagirl,” he said, causing my cheeks to flush even more. He looked at me with a small smirk, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a way that was unfairly captivating. “Well, see you around.” With that, he continued on his way, leaving me in a whirlwind of emotions.

A sharp elbow to my ribs brought me back to reality. “What did I tell you?” Fiona whispered, her eyes wide as we watched him leave. “You and Matt? That could be explosive.”

I sighed, rubbing my temple. “Nothing's going to happen, Fi. He's probably just being polite because of Jack. Pitying the ugly duckling, you know?”

My friend’s normally-jovial face contorted with annoyance. “Would you stop talking like that? Seriously, Celeste, it’s infuriating. You’re beautiful in your own way, and you don’t need anyone’s pity.”

Despite her firm tone, her words warmed my heart. I managed a half-smile. “Thanks, Fi. I just... It’s complicated.”

…

Night had descended by the time I reached home. The world was cast in a soft blue hue, and the lights emanating from the houses on our street were like yellow pinpricks spilling out into the darkness.

I hurried up the pathway, my jacket concealing the tight leggings beneath. Every step I took was cautious, trying to avoid any confrontations.

Slipping through the front door, I almost thought I had made it. That was until Jack’s voice echoed down the corridor. “Celeste? That you?”

“Damn,” I whispered under my breath.

I practically sprinted to my room, discarding my jacket in haste. Moving faster than I ever thought possible, I peeled my workout clothes off and grabbed my pajamas out of the drawer.

Just as I had managed to pull my pajama pants on, the unmistakable sound of footsteps grew louder. Panicking, I kicked my workout clothes and mask under the bed.

Without so much as a knock, Jack swung my door open, his brow furrowed with concern. “Why were you out so late?”

“Just hanging with Fiona,” I replied curtly, tugging my oversized shirt down over my head. “Ever heard of knocking?”

He sighed, his stance unwavering. “It’s my house. I make the rules. Anyway, I need you to come down and finish up the laundry. I have a… date.”

I was a bit taken aback by Jack’s so-called ‘date’. It must have been the girl who he had been with at the ball. Either way, I was somewhat relieved to know that he would be out of the house tonight. If his dates in the past were any indication, he wouldn’t come home until tomorrow.

“Sure,” I said, nodding. “I’ll do it.”

“Good.” Jack shot me an almost suspicious glare, but then turned and walked over to the door. “Make sure to actually fold stuff the right way this time. All of my shirts were wrinkled last time.”

I bit my lip, fighting the urge to lash out. But the mounting frustration was too much. “Why are you like this, Jack? Why do you have to control every aspect of my life and boss me around? I’m an adult!”

I expected a shout, a reprimand, a long lecture. But what I got instead was a silent, heavy pause. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft, almost tender.

“There are things I can't explain, Celeste. It’s just... it’s for your own good. Please understand.”

His words hung in the air like a heavy fog, and I was left grappling for a coherent response. But before I could form one, he had already turned on his heel and left.

I sank down onto my bed, a mix of anger and confusion churning within me. What was Jack hiding? What couldn't he explain?

His unexpected calmness was puzzling. Had I expected him to yell? Perhaps. But his quiet, measured response left me feeling off-kilter.

He left the house. I rose from my bed and parted the curtains slightly, my eyes finding his car as it disappeared down the street. He wasn’t headed towards town, which was where he usually met his dates. My brow furrowed in confusion.

But I shrugged off my suspicions, choosing to drown myself with the upbeat music from my playlist and a private dance party to celebrate today’s tiny victory. Folding laundry to the rhythm of the music, I danced around my room, shaking off the tense energy from my encounter with Matt and then Jack.

In my elated mood, a dangerous idea crept to the surface. I crept into Jack’s liquor cabinet downstairs, swiping a bottle of the expensive stuff he saved for special occasions. The taste of triumph felt sweet as I sipped on the bitter liquid, a small act of rebellion against Jack’s overbearing nature.

My celebration had left me feeling pleasantly tipsy, a mischievous grin dancing on my lips.

Stumbling back to my room later that night, I sank into my bed, the world spinning slightly around me. My phone sat on my bedside table, urging me to do something that I shouldn’t.

I stared at it for a long moment, my fingers hovering over the screen. Unblocking Matt would mean delving into a world I had promised both myself and Fiona that I would avoid from now on. The ball was my little fantasy, my respite from the dredge of daily life. A brief moment to live as someone else.

But under the influence of my brother’s liquor and the thrill of the dance team acceptance, I felt invincible.

My fingers moved on their own accord, the ‘unblock’ almost seeming to pulse beneath my thumb. Just as I was about to tap it, reality hit me.

What was I doing? This was not me. I was letting the excitement and liquor cloud my judgment.

In a moment of clarity, I quickly shut my phone off, setting it aside. I leaned back onto my bed, the room still spinning slightly. I let out a shaky breath, reminding myself that this was real life, not some melodramatic movie.

And in real life, actions had consequences.

Still, as I drifted off to sleep, I couldn’t help but let my thoughts wander back to Matt. Back to the night we shared together in the dark bathroom. Back to the one time in my life when someone really wanted me, and didn’t expect anything in return.

More than anything, I wanted to experience that again. Just one more time.