Chapter 17

Clara

Over the next few days, it became more and more obvious that something was wrong with me. I woke every morning feeling weak and nauseous.

I could barely eat anything without throwing it back up, yet I was constantly hungry. Even the smell of food sent me running for the nearest bathroom.

I was tired all the time. No matter how well I slept at night, I woke up exhausted. I nearly nodded off to sleep any time I sat still.

Nora caught me yawning one day while I was cleaning her room after lunch. She insisted I take a nap on her bed. I tried to refuse but I stumbled when I went to gather her laundry basket.

Nora refused to let me leave her rooms until I slept. She was concerned for my health. She suggested I go to the healers. I promised I would, but I didn’t go right away.

I thought I knew what was wrong, and I was afraid to go to the healers. They would report it to Prince Gideon if I was right. I could not let him find out.

I was afraid I might be pregnant.

I knew the signs. I was constantly fatigued, hungry, and sick to my stomach. My body felt strange and wrong.

Prince Gideon and I had only been together that one time. But my foster mother had made sure I knew that it only took one time to create a baby.

What was I going to do? I could not have Prince Gideon’s baby! I wasn’t his mate, Nora was.

This baby should not exist. I knew that there were herbs I could take, if I could find them, that would end the pregnancy. Or I could go to the healers, but I was afraid to do that.

I didn’t want to abort the baby, though. I knew, now, that I would never have a mate of my own. My fated mate was Prince Marcus, and I would never accept him. I would never carry his child. This might be my only chance to ever have a baby.

Would Prince Gideon be angry with me for keeping the baby? Or would he be angry if I aborted it? Would he want the child?

If I aborted the baby, I could keep it a secret. I would never have to tell anyone. I wouldn’t have to hurt Nora. I would not have to face Prince Gideon’s rage.

If I kept it, maybe I could claim Prince Gideon wasn’t the father. I could pretend to have another lover. But who? No one among the male servants had ever looked my way. Maybe I could just refuse to name the father.

I was so scared. I needed to make a decision quickly. I needed advice, but I had no one to confide in. I couldn’t tell Nora that I might be pregnant with her fated mate’s baby. My foster mother was dead. There was no one in the royal palace I could trust with this secret. I was alone.

Finally, after pacing my room for as long as I could stay on my feet, I made one decision. I needed to be certain. I might not even be pregnant, and I was worrying for nothing.

There was a small store for the palace maids to buy things they needed that weren’t provided by the palace storehouse. We could buy scented soaps, clothing to wear on our days off, and fancy treats. They also had necessities like first aid supplies and medicines and remedies for minor illnesses that didn’t require a healer.

The store also had supplies for more delicate emergencies. There were teas designed to prevent pregnancy. And there were tests that would tell me for sure whether I carried a baby or not.

I bought one of the tests. I wasn’t able to meet the shopkeeper’s eyes as I paid for it. She was kind enough to wrap the test in brown paper so that it wouldn’t be obvious to everyone I passed.

I thanked the shopkeeper and left. I rushed through the hallways. I barely paid attention to my surroundings, because I was in a hurry to get back to my room.

I didn’t see the other palace maids until they had already surrounded me. They mocked me and shoved me until I stumbled. My package fell to the ground.

I dove to collect it before anyone saw what it was. Someone else picked it up.

“What’s this?”

I froze in terror as Prince Gideon held the wrapped pregnancy test in one hand.

Gideon

I noticed a group of palace servants bullying Clara. What made her such a target for their mockery? Was it just that she was mute and therefore could not report her tormentors? Or did they think they were somehow protecting Nora? Many of the palace servants had become fond of my new mistress lately.

Regardless of the reason, I needed to put a stop to it. I did not like that kind of thing going on in my home.

I walked over, and noticed a parcel on the ground. Clara was fighting to get to it, so it must be important. Out of curiosity, I bent and picked up the package.

“What’s this?” I asked.

I tugged the discreet brown wrapping aside, and realized I was looking at a pregnancy test. I kept it angled so that the other maids would not see.

“This is yours?” I asked Clara as she scrambled to her feet.

She nodded miserably. I could tell she had not wanted me to see the test. She wrapped her arms around her chest.

“Yes,” Clara signed. She motioned to the servants’ shop nearby.

I supposed she was indicating that I could check with the shopkeeper. I did not feel the need to do so. Clara might be a schemer, but evidence showed that she was not a thief.

I glanced at the other maids. “Go about your business. I don’t want to see this kind of behavior again. You are one pack and you should act like it.”

The maids bowed and scurried away. I handed Clara the package. She hadn’t taken the test yet. So there was no point in asking her if she was sure she was pregnant.

“I will escort you to your room,” I declared.

I offered Clara my arm. It was only polite. She rested just the tips of one hand on my elbow.

My wolf was excited.

“A pup would be wonderful,” my wolf said. “If she has a pup, you must claim it. You must take care of her, and the pup.”

I winced. My wolf was a simple creature. It didn’t understand the chaos a royal bastard could cause. But he was correct. If Clara was pregnant, I did have to take responsibility.

Clara stumbled as we walked through the hall. I thought back to everything I had done to punish her after the night we spent together. Guilt gnawed at me.

I had her lashed, and watched as she collapsed in pain. I confined her in the dungeon, without even a single blanket to ward off the cold. I ordered her given minimal rations while she was in the dungeons.

If she was pregnant through all of that, I could be responsible for her losing that baby. It would be my fault if she miscarried.