Chapter 46

Clara

Jules stayed with me while I shivered. Despite the soft, newly finished shawl around my shoulders I could not get warm. My hand shook when I tried to write out a message.

“And there we are,” Jules said. “I think you’re in shock, my dear. You’ve been through a lot, and this is just that one bit too much.”

I nodded. That sounded right. Jules’ voice was kind but it sounded like she was speaking from the other end of a tunnel.

“Okay, I’ve sent someone to go and get Tracy. Ronan said she was your aunt,” Jules said.

I nodded again. My hands were still too shaky to hold onto my pen. I felt an arm wrap around me and leaned into the warmth.

“Clara?” Tracy’s voice sounded distant and faint, but I felt her hand on my arm through the shawl so she must have been right next to me.

I struggled to look in her direction. She looked worried. I struggled for my notebook so that I could apologize for causing so much trouble.

“Yes, I think so,” Tracy said, responding to something I hadn’t heard. “Clara? Sweetheart, I think you need to see the healers. Can you stand up?”

Why did I need the healers? I wasn’t injured or sick. Although it was very difficult to stand up.

Tracy wrapped an arm under my shoulder and guided me back to the tunnels. I saw the red star Ronan had mentioned and pointed to it.

“That’s right, the stars lead to the healers. Ronan showed you?” Tracy guessed.

I managed a nod, even though it made the tunnel dip and weave and I stumbled.

The healer’s ward was brightly lit and scrupulously clean. It smelled just like the healer’s ward in the castle. Kieran, the injured vampire prisoner, lay on one of the beds. He sat up as we entered and Tracy helped me to an empty bed.

“What happened? Is she all right?” Kieran asked.

“She’s just had a bit of a shock,” Tracy said.

The healer appeared at my side. Well, she probably walked across the room but I hadn’t noticed her until she was close enough to touch.

“Well, yes, this is definitely shock,” the healer said. “But I don’t see any injuries. Tell me what happened.”

Her voice didn’t sound so distant. I tried again to grip my pen, and this time I got my hand around it. I just couldn’t manage to get the book open to start writing.

Tracy patted my hand. “Jules said she attacked Kyle. Apparently he abused her friend while he was spying on the wolves. Ronan’s dealing with him, but poor Clara seems rattled.”

“Hm, that makes sense. Let me take a look at you, Clara,” the healer said.

“Clara, this is Naomi. She’s our healer. You can trust her,” Tracy said.

I nodded, and this time the room stayed in place. I was recovering. I probably didn’t need to waste the healer’s time, but Naomi already had her hands on either side of my face.

I felt something like a cool breeze brush over my skin. It left a tingly warmth in its wake, and I was able to focus better once the healer released me.

“Yes, this is shock,” Healer Naomi announced. “I’d say the sudden adrenaline drop after a violent confrontation, on top of extended stress is the cause. I recommend warm tea, warm blankets, and plenty of rest.”

I nodded. That sounded right.

“She gave me blood,” Kieran said. “Did that help cause this?”

“Hm? Oh, no, you didn’t take enough to do any lasting harm,” Healer Naomi said.

I managed to get my notebook open this time, and wrote, “I’m fine. Just shaken.” Then I added, “Kieran is recovering?”

“Yes, he is doing quite well,” Naomi said. “And he wanted to thank you.”

“Thank you,” Kieran said. “I… I’m not sure I would have made it back, without your help.”

“Ronan would not leave you,” I wrote. I had only just met the vampire scout, but I was confident that he would never have left one of the people he came to rescue behind. He hadn’t even left me, and I wasn’t his responsibility.

“Well, no, but I would’ve slowed us all down,” Kieran said. “So, thank you. If you ever need a favor, anything, just name it and it’s yours.”

I smiled at him. That was sweet of him to say.

“While I’ve got you here,” Healer Naomi said, “let me take a look at your throat. See if we can’t figure out why you can’t speak.”

“The castle healers never found anything,” I wrote. “No injury and no sign of any illness.”

“No physical cause, hm?” Naomi asked. “That makes sense. Do you mind if I run just a couple of tests? I need to look you over, take a small blood sample, nothing more.”

I shrugged and allowed her to examine me. I doubted she would find anything when no healer ever had. But it wouldn’t hurt to have one more healer take a look.

Healer Naomi’s hands were gentle as she examined me. She questioned me about my general health, my work, my eating habits, and my healing speed. I admitted that I did heal slower than other wolves.

She also asked Tracy a few questions about my mother, which she answered. She admitted that she only knew my father a short time and couldn’t answer many questions about his health.

“Your wolf can howl?” Tracy asked. “And make other noises, as well?”

I nodded.

“That’s interesting. Your other healers were correct, there’s no physical damage causing your inability to speak. I have a theory as to the cause, though.”

“You do?” I wrote.

“I believe your vampiric blood is interfering with your werewolf’s natural healing ability. I imagine at some point in your infancy you were ill or injured, I would wager it was a minor illness. You lost your voice then, and your werewolf side tried to fix it. But your body lacked the resources it needed, because you are half vampire.”

“Resources?” I wrote, confused.

“Well, for one thing you’re weakened by constantly working in the sunlight,” Healer Naomi said. “Obviously the sun doesn’t hurt you, but it does weaken you. You’ll notice you feel stronger after a few days in the Warren.”

“Okay,” I wrote. I did sunburn more easily than the other maids. I supposed avoiding direct sunlight wouldn’t be too hard.

“Also, you need blood,” Healer Naomi said. “I know castle wolves hunt but don’t eat their prey raw. That would at least help.”

Blood? They wanted me to drink blood? I couldn’t do that!

“It’s not so bad,” Tracy said. “We get our blood from volunteers, or from animals. Our wolves bring in their prey, and we take the blood while we prepare the animals for cooking.”

I shivered and shook my head. I couldn’t. I just could not do that.

“It’s all right,” Healer Naomi said. “You’ve survived this long, so there’s no reason you can’t continue as you have.” She patted my hand. “And there is no guarantee that taking in blood would allow you to speak at this point. It is only a theory.”

I nodded. I understood that there wasn’t much of a chance.

“Staying out of the sun and eating rare meat would be a good start,” Naomi said. “You’ll grow stronger, I’m sure of that. For now, I suggest you go with Tracy and get some rest. That’s what you need most.”

Rest sounded like an excellent idea. I wrote out my thanks, and well wishes for Kieran, and followed Tracy back to her room.

“I’m sorry,” I wrote when we were alone. “I just can’t imagine drinking blood.”

“You only recently learned you were part vampire,” Tracy said. “It’s going to take time to get used to things.”

I nodded. I accepted when Tracy offered her bed for a nap, because I was too worn out to get back up. I wondered if the healer was right. If I had been raised with the vampires, would I be able to speak? If I started drinking blood and avoiding the sun, would my voice work, or was it too late after all these years?