Chapter 50

Clara

Ronan locked the door holding the prince, and turned back to me.

“We’re going to knock him out, and deliver him back to his royal father in a barrel,” Ronan declared. “I was going to bundle him in a wagon all nice and cozy but then I heard the way he talked to you. So he’s going in a barrel.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I wrote.

Ronan chuckled. “No, but I want to.”

I froze as I realized what Ronan had said. He’d heard what Prince Gideon said about me. He knew that I was a prince’s mate, and that I’d still gone with him. He heard about me seducing and scheming.

“It’s not true,” I wrote.

Ronan tilted his head. “What’s not true?”

“The things he said. I didn’t. I didn’t mean to seduce him. And Marcus abandoned me. And…” I stopped writing as Ronan rested his hand over mine.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he said. “Unless maybe you want to? Do you need someone to listen to you for a change?”

Was he offering? Because, yes, it would be nice to be believed. Ronan could tell that I wasn’t lying. He wouldn’t accuse me of plotting and scheming.

“Please,” I wrote.

“Okay,” Ronan said. “Would you like privacy for this talk? Or would you like to go back to your aunt’s room?”

I did not want to discuss what had happened between me and Prince Gideon in front of my mother’s sister, no. I shook my head.

“Privacy, then? We can go to my place,” Ronan offered.

I nodded quickly. Privacy sounded good. I was confident that Ronan wouldn’t share anything I told him. And I wanted someone, anyone, to know the truth.

So I followed Ronan back to his room. It was smaller than Tracy’s. He had a bed, a plush chair, and a stand with a violin on it.

I motioned to the violin, and wrote, “You play?”

He nodded. “It’s a challenge keeping it in tune living in a cave and all, but I love the music. It fills the time, and the silence.”

“I was learning,” I wrote. “I was supposed to be more accomplished. I liked the violin.”

“If you want, I’ll continue your lessons sometime,” Ronan offered.

“You would?” I wrote.

“Sure. I enjoy teaching,” Ronan said with a grin.

He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him. I hesitated for a moment, and then sat. There was only one chair, and we had to sit next to each other for him to read the notebook. The bed was softer than the floor. That was all.

“So, tell me your story,” Ronan said. “I’ll admit I’ve been curious about you since we found you.”

I didn’t know where to begin. But I wanted to tell someone. So I just started writing.

I told him about the first time I saw Marcus, and how he ignored the mate bond until it was useful to him. I told him about being accused of theft and nearly killed. I told him about Prince Gideon saving me. I told him about how I saved Prince Gideon, first.

Remembering Gideon’s accusations, I explained that I had never seduced him. I told Ronan what I’d never been given the chance to tell Gideon. I told him about the drugged wine, about the night Gideon and I spent together, and the way Gideon rejected me and had me punished.

Ronan leaned against my shoulder, reading as I wrote. He made a soft, pained sound when he read about the whipping.

“That,” Ronan hesitated, “Clara, was that your first time with a man?”

I ducked my head, and nodded. I’d meant to wait for my fated mate. Instead I slept with my best friend’s fated mate. But I hadn’t seduced him! I hadn’t meant to do it!

“Oh, sweetheart,” Ronan’s voice is pained. “That’s awful. I should kick his tail for treating you like that.”

I shook my head quickly. “You promised not to hurt him,” I wrote.

“I know, I know. But he should know better, even with his wolf in control,” Ronan said.

“He was drugged,” I wrote. “He didn’t want it. He didn’t want me.”

“You were drugged, too, I’d wager. You said he kissed you after drinking the wine? The fumes would’ve affected you,” Ronan explained.

I blinked. That would explain how warm I became after the kiss, and why it was so hard to think.

“Did you not realize you’d been hit with the drug?” Ronan guessed.

I shook my head. I had no idea.

Ronan shifted so that he was kneeling in front of me. “What happened was not your fault,” he insisted. “I want you to understand that. You didn’t even know you were drugged, you couldn’t fight it.”

I nodded slowly. I hadn’t blamed Gideon, because I knew he hadn’t wanted it. If he wasn’t at fault, then maybe I wasn’t, either. Maybe it was just something that happened that we both regretted.

“I’d like to hold you,” Ronan said. “Because you went through something terrible, and instead of comforting you, that damned prince had you punished.”

“It wasn’t terrible,” I protested. “He didn’t hurt me.”

Ronan stared at me. “I truly hope that ‘didn’t hurt you’ isn’t your standard for a good time in bed.”

I shrugged. I didn’t have enough experience to have a “standard” at all!

But being held did sound kind of nice. It had been a while since anyone did that. I nodded my permission and Ronan sat back on the bed.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I leaned into his chest. He was warm, and strong, and smelled faintly of fall leaves.

“As for the other prince, well. He’d better not ever find his way here,” Ronan said.

“He won’t come,” I wrote. “He won’t care that I’m gone.”

Ronan made a sound deep in his throat that might have been a growl. He hugged me so tightly that it was a little hard to keep my grip on my notebook. I leaned into his hold, and breathed in his scent.

It was nice, being held by a handsome, kind man. I was confused, though. Ronan was not my fated mate, or my second chance if I had one. But my wolf rumbled with contentment inside me. She liked this vampire.

I sighed a little. Ronan was just being nice because he felt sorry for me, and he knew my mother. It wasn’t like he’d be interested in someone like me, not for real.

But, well, it felt real for the moment. He believed me, about Marcus, and Gideon, and all of it. He read every word I wrote and it was such a relief to be able to finally tell someone everything.

Ronan stroked a hand through my hair, soothing me gently. I leaned into the touch.

“Clara, tell me something,” Ronan’s voice was soft.

I looked up at him, waiting. I’d tell him anything he wanted to know.

“Have you ever been kissed? For real, I mean. By someone who means it.”

I blinked, startled by the question, and then shook my head. There had been a few kisses with Marcus, but they were for show. I had to play the part of the royal mistress. And I didn’t think the one kiss with Gideon counted, either.

“I’d like to kiss you,” Ronan said. “It’s okay if you say no. And it doesn’t have to mean anything more than you want it to.”

“Why?” I wrote.

“Why do I want to hold you and kiss you?” Ronan guessed.

I nodded.

“Because you’re brave, and beautiful, and because I like you,” Ronan said. “And because you deserve to be cherished, and I figure I should make my case that it could be me doing that cherishing, before someone else notices what a catch you are.”

I stared at him. Was he serious? He sounded serious.

Did I want what he was offering?

Yes, yes I did. I hadn’t ever been wanted before. I wanted to know what that felt like.

I leaned up against him. He grinned, and met me halfway for a long, deep kiss. It was sweet and gentle and I never, ever wanted it to end.

If this was being cherished, I could get used to it.