Chapter 58

Clara

The next few days were very busy for me. I had to split my free time evenly between Ronan and Prince Marcus. I would rather have spent all my time with Ronan and avoided Marcus entirely, but that would not have been fair.

I knew my wolf longed for Marcus, but I wanted nothing to do with the prince. I had tasted what it felt like to be precious to someone, and I wanted more of it. I wanted Ronan.

But I could not forget Marcus’ threats to come back with an army. Ronan and Tracy promised me that it was my choice. They swore that the Warren would fight for me if it came to that. But I could not be the reason these people lost another home.

So I gave Prince Marcus equal courting time. He refused to allow me to be alone with Ronan if I wouldn’t be alone with him. Which meant that my dates with Ronan were chaperoned. Because I did not want to be alone with Prince Marcus. I did not trust him at all.

Nora volunteered to be the chaperone for me and Ronan, although I could tell that the vampires terrified her. Ronan did his best to charm her and set her at ease. I don’t think it worked very well.

I was glad to be able to see my friend again. I enjoyed sharing a room with her, even if Tracy’s rooms were a bit crowded with three of us sharing. Tracy never complained. She just found two extra mattresses and made up cozy little nests for us all to sleep in.

“She’s really your aunt?” Nora asked one day after Tracy had fallen into the deathlike sleep of the vampires.

I nodded, and signed. “I’m pretty sure she is. We look alike, anyway. And my wolf sort of recognizes her. Not like she’s ever seen her, but like she knows pack.”

“Oh. Well, your wolf would know, I guess,” Nora said. She curled up. “I can’t get used to sleeping all day. How do you do it?”

I shrugged. “I keep busy, so I’m so tired by dawn, I just fall asleep I guess.”

The truth was, I had barely noticed the change from being awake all day to being awake all night. It felt natural. Maybe that was my vampire half asserting itself.

“You aren’t afraid, living among so many blood suckers?” Nora asked.

I shook my head. “They’re not like him,” I signed, meaning Kyle. “They were angry when I told them how he treated you. He’s locked up now.”

“They locked Kyle up for mistreating me? But they don’t know me. Why do they care?” Nora asked.

“They seemed offended that he’d mistreated his mate,” I signed. “I think they would do it no matter who he abused.”

“Oh. Well that’s unexpected,” Nora said. “When you didn’t come back, I was afraid for you. I thought they were hurting you, to make you stay.”

“No,” I signed. “These people have been nothing but kind.”

“I’m glad, really,” Nora said. “I don’t know that I could live here, but you seem happy.”

“I am,” I signed. “I miss you. I do. But I am happy.”

“It’s okay,” Nora said. “I wouldn’t want you to come back. You’re treated well here. If you come back, you’ll only be bullied. Marcus says he’ll do better, and I think he means it, but he can’t control his father, or the nobles, or anyone else.”

“You don’t think I’m wrong, preferring Ronan over my fated mate?” I signed.

“Well, fated mates aren’t everything,” Nora said. “After all, I was fated to that vampire. And I’m with Gideon, instead.”

“Isn’t he your fated one?” I signed.

“Well, can I tell you a secret?” Nora whispered, looking around as though there was anyone to overhear.

I nodded.

“I’m not Gideon’s fated mate. I lied. I was just so, so desperate to get away from Kyle. And it got you away from those other maids, too!”

She lied? She told a prince she was his fated mate, and convinced him to make her his mistress, and it was all a lie? I was shocked.

“I know, I know it’s wrong,” Nora said. “And I shouldn’t have lied and said I helped him when it was you.”

I shook my head. I didn’t care about that, really. I hadn’t helped the stranger in the stables in the hopes of a reward. It was just the right thing to do.

“It’s fine,” I signed. “But what if he learns the truth?”

“He’ll discard me,” Nora said. “He would be right, I guess. But I do love him. I thought I just wanted to rise to join the nobles. I wanted a better life and he was my way to have it. But now… now I can’t imagine not seeing him every day. Even if i got to keep all the pretty dresses and the softer life, if I didn’t have him, it wouldn’t mean anything.” Nora paused. “I think, if I had to go back to my old life, but I could keep Gideon, I would be okay with that. How weird is that?”

“It’s not weird,” I signed. “It’s love.”

Nora snorted at me and rolled over to go to sleep. I snuggled down under my blankets and tried to quiet my mind so I could rest. Tomorrow would be another long night.

I insisted on continuing my training as a scout. Ronan applauded my dedication. Marcus was openly doubtful of the whole thing. He insisted that I would be returning to the castle with him. And noble women did not tramp about through the woods, according to him.

Strangely, Marcus decided to join my fighting lessons. And more shockingly, he was helpful. He saw flaws in my stance that Jordan missed and his advice on how to correct my form was actually useful.

“You know, a scout doesn’t seem that different from one of my agents,” Marcus mused after I’d been thrown across the training room by Jordan for the third time in a row. “You didn’t want to spy for me. Why is different now?”

I shrugged, and motioned at Jordan that I was ready to try again. She was teaching me how to throw an opponent. I wasn’t failing as badly at this lesson as I usually did.

“It’s different because it’s something she’s chosen,” Jordan said. “You tried to force her into it with blackmail.”

“I need leverage,” Marcus said. “Just like that toss. It doesn’t work without proper leverage. Here, Clara, try to throw me. Jordan’s your size. You need to learn how to deal with a larger opponent.”

It took several tries and I had a variety of interesting bruises by the time we were done, but I did manage to throw Marcus across the room. I must admit I enjoyed that.

I had not changed my mind. I still wanted Ronan. I just wished I could think of a way to convince Marcus to give up. I was afraid he would not take rejection well.

And, honestly, when he wasn’t trying to have me killed to spare himself embarrassment or trying to blackmail me into spying on his brother, I kind of liked Marcus. I thought with time, we could become friends.

But despite my wolf’s yearning, I did not think I could ever come to love him.