Chapter 78

Barnett gestured for me to sit down, and I took one of the plush armchairs across from his desk.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked. “Water or something?”

I shook my head. “No, I’m alright.”

He nodded and sat down in his leather chair. “Either Lily is clairvoyant, or she convinced you to come here,” he said after a moment of awkward silence.

“She’s adamant that we talk.”

He just nodded again.

Another long stretch of silence ensued as I searched for something to say.

“You look great,” he said. I wasn’t used to this awkwardness between us. It seemed to squeeze at my throat, preventing the words from rising. So much time had passed, and he felt both familiar to me and completely a stranger.

“I heard about your father,” I answered, ignoring his compliment completely. That felt like dangerous territory. “I’m sorry he was sick. Is he doing better now?”

“He is,” he said. “It was tough going for a while, but he’s doing a lot better now. Good enough to kick me out, anyway.”

“He sounds like a character” I’d never met Lily’s grandfather, but I’d heard the stories. He was known for being very headstrong.

“That’s one way to put it.”

We stared at each other across his desk. I shifted, the gremlins clawing at my stomach. I knew it was likely the nerves making it worse, but I suddenly wished I hadn’t eaten such a big breakfast. If I’d known I’d be doing this, I probably would’ve avoided it entirely.

“So,” he finally said. “How was your trip?”

“It was good.” I shifted in my seat. “I had a lot of fun.”

“That’s good. I’m glad,” he answered quietly.

God, this wasn’t going well at all. There were so many unspoken things between us it was making this conversation impossible. I knew I just had to blurt it out, but I couldn’t make the words form. How do you tell someone they’re going to be a father? Someone who can barely talk to you. It felt even more impossible now than it did before.

“Look,” he said, his eyes roving over my face. “I should apologize.”

I swallowed hard. “For what?”

“For just disappearing like that. I got the call that my dad was sick, and I just left. It wasn’t fair of me to do that.”

“Your dad was ill. It’s not like you could control that.”

He shook his head. “Yeah, but I used that as an excuse. I was mad at you for keeping things from me, and I just ran away instead of dealing with it. I’m sorry.”

I let out a long sigh. “It’s fine, Barnett.”

“No, it’s not.” He frowned. “I heard you were looking for me.”

“I was.”

“And I got your letter.”

I nearly fell out of my chair. That’s how shocked I was. I’d completely forgotten about the letter I wrote him. I was so emotional when I wrote it, and I genuinely didn't think I’d ever see him again.

He opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out the letter. He handed it across to me. I didn’t need to look at it to remember what I said.

“I was a bit confused when I read it,” he said. “Especially the part about Julia and I.”

“She said you guys remarried and were having a baby.”

“We didn’t remarry. I’d never get back together with her. As for the baby…it’s not mine.”

My eyebrows flew up. “It’s not?”

He looked away from me then, his brow pinched. This was clearly a subject that bothered him. “No, we did a test.” For the first time, I wondered if Barnett wanted to be a father. That, even with his issues with Julia, he was sad the baby wasn’t his.

“I’m sorry.”

He gave me a tight smile. “I’m sorry she said those things to you. It was uncalled for.”

“I’m confused.”

He waited quietly for me to elaborate, the pained look still on his face. I wanted to do something, anything, to get that look off his face. The urge was so strong, I almost stood up and went to him, but I forced myself to remain where I was. There were more things that needed to be said.

“About what?” he finally said when I didn’t go on.

“About that dinner. Arthur and I saw you and Julia together, sharing your food.”

He clenched his jaw and looked away again. “We were there to talk about the house. She wanted something in exchange for leaving you alone. I told her she could have the villa if she stayed out of our lives.”

“Then why were you sharing food?”

“When I saw you and Arthur together, I got jealous,” he admits. “I just wanted to make you feel the same. There was never anything between me and Julia.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry I made it seem like there was.”

“I’m sorry too.”

He gave me a look. “What do you have to be sorry for?”

“For the health stuff.” I took a deep breath, then told him everything. From my misdiagnosis to the moment at the doctor’s office, when I found out the truth. His gaze darkened when I said the word ‘cancer’ and stayed that way as I finished my story.

“You didn’t tell anyone?”

“No. I didn’t want everyone to worry about me. I wanted to enjoy the time I had left, at least what I thought I had left, without the cancer hanging over my head.”

“Well, I wish you would have told me. I could have helped you.”

“I know,” I breathed. “I really am sorry. It seemed like the best option at the time. I realize now that I shouldn’t have kept it to myself and avoided it, but I was scared. I wasn’t ready to face it.”

He just nodded.

“There’s something else I have to come clean about,” he said, his gaze earnest. I braced myself. There was no way to predict where this was going. “Anna.” He had to stop and clear his throat. My heart drummed against my chest. “Anna, I love you.”

I froze. “Love me?” I repeated. Out of all the things he could have said, that was the last thing I was expecting.

“Yes, I love you. I have for quite a while now. I don’t expect you to say it back or feel the same way, but I just had to tell you.”

I was too shocked to answer. How could he love me?

“I don’t understand.”

“What’s there to understand? I love you. It’s really that simple.”

“But how?”

“Anna, you’re one of the most brilliant people I’ve ever met. I’ve always thought so. You’re strong and courageous. You know what you want, and you go out there and get it. And you care about the people in your life. You’re so generous.”

Heat rose to my cheeks. I wasn’t used to compliments, and it made tears pool in my eyes. “Thank you,” I said softly. “I love you too.”

That time, he froze. “What?” Under other circumstances, the look on his face might have been funny.

“I love you,” I repeated, using his words. “I have for quite a while.”

A smile suddenly broke out across his face, and it was the most stunning thing I’d ever seen.

“There’s something else.”

The smile dimmed slightly. “What?”

I twisted my hands together. It was now or never. “As you can probably tell, I’m pregnant…with triplets.”

He glanced at my stomach. It was more than obvious.

I cleared my throat. “Barnett…they’re yours. That’s why I was trying to find you.”

He just stared at me with his mouth slightly open.

“You’re the father.”