Chapter2

I chose the mathematics department at Cambridge. The language, the time difference, the heavy coursework—everything was a brand-new challenge.

But there was no Sebastian to please, no suffocating biological family; there were only problem sets, proofs, and expectations for the future.

During my first winter at Cambridge, I curled up in a corner of the library from dusk until dawn, a thick stack of scratch paper piled beside me. Snow fell on the stone walls outside the window, and it was so quiet that the only sound left was the rustle of my pen tip scratching across the paper. That feeling of being undisturbed, of living entirely for myself, was so incredibly good that it brought me to the verge of tears.

Two years flew by.

Fueled by talent and day-and-night training, I made my mark in several international math competitions and was ultimately selected for the Cambridge university team. We traveled to the US to compete in the Putnam Mathematical Competition—an event known as the "Olympics of Mathematics," whose awards ceremony just so happened to be hosted on the Harvard campus.

Before we left, a teammate half-jokingly remarked, "I hear the math guys over at Harvard are pretty arrogant, especially those student representatives playing host." I smiled and didn't reply. I kept it a secret from them that among that host team was my former employer, whom I hadn't seen in three years.

On my first day in Boston, while I was eating lunch at the restaurant downstairs in the hotel, a hesitant voice sounded behind me.

"Elena? Is that you?"

I turned around and saw a somewhat familiar face. It was Sophie, the girl who used to sit in front of me in high school.

Her eyes widened as she looked me up and down. "Oh my god! It really is you! You've changed so much!"

Stripped of the timid, people-pleasing demeanor I had in high school, two years of life over there had given me a grounded, quiet aura.

"Long time no see."

"This is crazy!" Sophie seemed extremely excited. "There's a welcome banquet over at Harvard tonight for all the visiting teams. A lot of our old classmates are helping organize it, and Sebastian is going to be there too! You have to come! Nobody will even recognize you!"

Sebastian?

The name felt like a distant symbol, one that hadn't crossed my mind in a very long time.

My first instinct was to decline, but on second thought, there was no need to deliberately avoid it.

"Sure."

I spent the entire day syncing up with my teammates on the competition schedule, rushed off my feet. By the time I remembered the banquet, it was already getting late. I couldn't be bothered to go back to the hotel to change, so I went straight there in my casual clothes.

I pushed open the doors to the banquet hall, and the cacophony hit me in the face.

The hall was massive, and the long tables were packed with people. My gaze swept across the room and almost instantly locked onto the man being flocked around at the head table.

Sebastian Grayson.

He looked more mature than he had in high school, wearing a tailored suit and exuding a relaxed posture. He was always the center of attention.

Pressed up next to him was a delicate, beautiful girl with flawless makeup—Vanessa.

I paused at the doorway for half a second. The images I had sealed away for three years suddenly surfaced: his careless expression when he stood in front of the whole school and said, "You're too boring," and the mocking laughter of the crowd. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, and by the time I opened them again, those feelings had all faded into nothingness.

After a brief moment of quiet, a guy who had drank a bit too much was the first to recognize me.

"Holy shit! Look who is here! Sebastian's little tutor, Elena!"

That shout instantly ignited the entire room.

Dozens of gazes, laced with surprise and schadenfreude, zeroed right in on me.

Sebastian's head snapped up, his pupils sharply contracting. His effortless composure froze instantly, replaced by absolute shock and a tangle of indiscernible complexities.

Vanessa immediately sensed his shift in demeanor. Her grip on his arm tightened, and she looked over at me with calculating eyes.

"Elena?"

I ignored the whispers, walked straight over to sit next to Sophie, and poured myself a glass of water.

I didn't know who whispered, "What is she doing at a place like this?" Someone nearby chimed in, "Who knows. Heard she tagged along with some team, probably just here to crash the party." I took a sip from my glass and said nothing.

"Elena, long time no see!" A flashily dressed girl spoke up first. It was Rachel. "I heard you didn't get into any good schools back then? Makes sense, given your family's situation... Where have you been working all these years?"

A few girls around her covered their mouths and snickered.

"I've been in the UK for two years. Just got back for a competition," I replied flatly.

"Oh, the UK." Another guy, Josh, picked up the thread, his tone dripping with exaggerated sympathy. "It's pretty expensive over there, right? Can your family... you know, handle that? Do you need us to help you figure something out? I know a few work-study gigs, though they aren't exactly glamorous. Would you mind?"