Chapter 4 Hiding My Pain

Hope

I was sitting on the end of my bed with all of the lights off. I had the doors open to the small balcony off my room so I could look out up at the night sky that was full of stars and a bright moon. I was trying to convince myself I was as strong as I had pretended to be all day. I had explained everything to my family, and explained to them that I was okay with this, I was no one’s second choice. My mom supported me and my dads reluctantly finally did. Also I had seen Dillion and Jeremy with Rogan and Melissa so it seemed that the whole friendship was intact with no problems.

Sarah had asked a lot of questions, but eventually she calmed down. I had found her out in the gardens surrounded by her animals. Of course when I got out there they sought me out as well. Both of us had inherited our mom’s affinity with animals, but Sarah’s was off the charts powerful and she always had huge amounts of them around her. I was the dragon whisperer so that was my main thing, but the animals loved me, and as I loved them I enjoyed it as well. They actually helped me feel better today.

Now, alone up here in my room I had let the mask slip and now the tears I had held at bay today, after I had gotten up from talking to grandfather, I had kept up the I’m okay thing all day, and with that I knew I couldn’t be seen shedding a tear. Now, that was no longer necessary, so I felt like I could just feel what I felt without pretending. Was I sure I did the right thing, yes, but it fucking hurt like hell. The fact that my mate fell in love with someone else and chose her ripped my heart out.

I got up and decided I needed to actually breathe some fresh air not just look out at the sky. When I got to the railing I heard voices and looked down. I guess life didn’t think I had been kicked hard enough, so now I got to watch them together not far from my balcony. They hugged and kissed, and just had eyes only for each other. I saw Rogan do something but I wasn’t sure what. Then when he pulled his arm around I realized he’d been reaching for something. As I stood there I saw him show her a box and my heart stopped and I couldn't breathe.

It was a ring box, and he got down on one knee for her. She was crying, holding her hands in front of her mouth, jumping up and down, and I knew she was saying yes, but thankfully I couldn’t hear what he said or what she said in total. I watched him slide that ring onto her hand and I felt my chest crack open. I rushed back into my room and retreated to my shower. I ripped my clothes off and turned on the water. WIth it as hot as I could possibly stand I hit my knees letting the hot water pour over me as I tried to keep my cries of pain and sorrow muffled with my hands and a washcloth I grabbed.

I hadn’t expected to see him propose to her the very day he rejected me. I guess he wasn’t affected like I was by the rejection. This morning it had looked like it affected him, but now, here he was getting down on one knee for her, and he was smiling and kissing her. Fuck, if I ever wondered how much I meant to him in any way, this would have cinched it for me. He didn’t think of me at all, it was all her, and would always be her, and now in several ways he’d made sure that was the case.

I prayed that my waves of pain wouldn’t cause everyone to spontaneously shift, as they would destroy the facility if they did. So, I rocked myself, silenced my pain, and tried to at least keep it all to myself if I couldn’t keep it inside.

In an ancient realm wreathed in darkness

Andolar

I feel my heart begin to beat and blood to once again begin to rush within my veins. I have no idea how long I have been in stasis. I thought I would never breathe again, and I would sleep for all eternity. However, it seems something has awoken me. I am not yet sure what that something is. I feel nothing around me in my chamber so it is nothing that is currently present.

Suddenly I feel another presence and I reach out with my senses. I relax when I recognize my brother Jothandar, so he must have been awakened as well. This is very curious, for what could have possibly awoken both of us. It must have been very powerful for both of us to feel it, respond to it, and for it to cause us to awaken.

I feel the skin of my body change from the stone I have become back to flesh, but it will take a while. After what I am thinking has been centuries, as it would take such for me to turn to stone, and now it will take time for my body to become awake again. The more and more I feel myself awaken the further and further out I reach with my senses attempting to discover what has awakened me.

Then suddenly I feel my lungs seize, and my heart constrict in pain, but I realize this is not my pain but the pain which has awakened me, it pulls at me and calls to me. I feel it radiate through every cell of my body. There is only one thing that could call to me like this, one thing that would cause such a reaction in me. My mate is calling to me, after all of this time, my mate calls to me with her pain. Anger ignites in my heart, a desire to destroy what has caused her this pain.

Now, I know what I must do. I will awaken, then I will go and find my mate. I will bring her here to her new home and claim her as our mate, as no doubt if she has awakened me, this is also why Jothandar has begun to awaken, she must be calling to us both. So, soon we shall both go hunting for her.

I feel myself smile at that prospect. I try to send out my thoughts, letting her know her mates are coming.