Chapter 2 My own son wishes I were dead.

Elara's POV

The job started next month—the exact same day as Vivian's surgery.

I slipped the signed divorce papers into my bedroom drawer.

One month.

Just one more month to endure.

No matter how far Damian's reach extended, his power couldn't stretch across the ocean.

Once I got there, I'd change my name, shed my identity. I wouldn't be anyone's mother or anyone's wife anymore.

I wouldn't be anyone. I'd just be myself.

The next morning, I didn't get up to make them breakfast.

When I came downstairs, Damian was already waiting.

A dark gray shirt stretched across his muscular upper body. The instant meal in front of him sat untouched. He held a cigarette between his fingers, lost in thought.

When he saw me, something flickered in his eyes—confusion, maybe.

Of course I knew what confused him.

For the past five years of our marriage, I'd always been the first one up.

I'd make them different breakfasts every morning, pick out their clothes for the day, pack everything they needed. Taking care of Damian and Caleb had been my life's work.

Now, I'd done none of it. I just walked straight toward the door.

"Mommy!" Caleb jumped down from his chair.

I looked down at him.

He tilted his little face up, eyes sparkling. "Can I see Mommy Vivian today? Daddy said once you go to the hospital, I can see Mommy Vivian every day!"

I forced a smile, not knowing what to say.

"Yay!" He bounced excitedly, shouting at Damian. "Daddy, hurry up! I want to bring Mommy Vivian that teddy bear—I promised her last time!"

Damian crushed out his cigarette and stood. At six-three, his powerful frame carried an indescribable sense of oppression. As he passed me, his steps faltered for a moment.

My heartbeat skipped.

Yes. Even now, I pathetically hoped he might soften. After all, we'd been together for five years. I'd given him a son.

Even without love, there should at least be mercy, right?

But there was none. He walked to the door with the same cold indifference he showed the desperate men he hunted down, and opened the car door for me.

"Get in."

Another crack split through my heart. I climbed in silently.

At the Montgomery family's private hospital, we headed straight for Vivian's room.

When we entered, she was propped up in bed watching TV.

Pale-faced, the hospital gown hanging loose on her frame—but even like this, she was beautiful.

That fragile kind of beautiful that made you want to cradle her in your palms.

"Damian."

Seeing him, her lashes fluttered. Then her gaze landed on me, and she tried to sit up.

"Elara, you're here. I've been wanting to tell you—"

"Don't get up." Damian adjusted the bed's angle. This man who controlled the entire underworld turned remarkably gentle. "The doctor said you need to stay lying down."

Vivian smiled weakly. "I'm fine. I just wanted to say a few words to Elara."

Caleb rushed to the bedside. "Mommy Vivian, I brought you the teddy bear! If you hold it, it won't hurt anymore!"

Vivian stroked his blonde hair. "Thank you, Caleb. You're the sweetest."

They looked like a family. I was the stranger, shut out.

"Elara." Vivian turned to me, her gaze sincere. "I really don't know how to repay you. Don't worry—I'll take good care of Damian and Caleb from now on."

Watching her grateful performance, I felt nothing but bitter irony.

What was she thanking me for? For giving her my heart? For dying in her place?

Before I could finish that thought, Vivian added shyly, "Damian, Elara's taken care of you all these years. She must be really good at looking after people, right? The nurses here are professional, but they're kind of rough..."

She bit her lower lip. "You and your son take good care of me too, but you're men—there are things that aren't convenient. If Elara doesn't mind, could she be responsible for my care during my hospital stay?"

My fingers curled into fists. I instinctively looked at Damian.

The man's cold gaze swept over me. "You heard her. These next few days, you'll handle Vivian's daily needs. Sponge baths, changing bandages, meals—everything."

He wanted me to care for this woman. To give her sponge baths.

To bathe the woman who was taking my heart!

"Damian, what do you think I am?!"

"What's the big deal? She's just asking you to take care of Mommy Vivian!" Caleb snapped impatiently. "You take care of me and Dad at home every day, don't you? That's your job! If you can take care of us, why can't you take care of Mommy Vivian?!"

My heart twisted violently.

So all these years, what I'd given him wasn't called motherly love. It was called work.

At least servants got paid.

What the hell was I?

Maybe from the emotional shock, my vision suddenly went black. As I stumbled, an arm caught my waist.

Fingers roughened from years of holding guns, radiating scalding heat.

I looked up and saw a flash of concern in Damian's violent blue eyes.

But I took it for an illusion.

"Don't pretend to care." I shoved his hand away.

Vivian started crying. "Forget it, forget it. If Elara doesn't want to take care of me, that's fine. I'm already useless—I don't want to burden anyone else."

Seeing her tears, Caleb charged at me in his agitation.

"How dare you bully Mommy Vivian!"

My waist slammed into the table edge. The pain was so sharp I couldn't even scream.

"You're a bad woman!" Caleb pointed at me furiously. "All you do is boss me and Dad around! I don't like you at all! Why won't you just die already?!"

Those words detonated in my ears.

I stared at the hatred in his eyes, my whole body shaking with rage.

This was the person I'd fought death to bring into the world. This was the son I'd carried for ten months!

I couldn't take it anymore. I slapped him across the face.

Caleb froze. Those blue eyes—almost identical to Damian's—filled with shock.

Because I'd never hit him before.

In four years, I'd never even raised my voice to him. When he cried, I hurt more than he did. When he got sick, I felt more pain than he did.

But today, I hit him.

The hospital room fell deathly silent.

Just then, a nurse pushed the door open.

"Mrs. Montgomery, we're ready for your pre-surgery examination."

I didn't even glance at him. I turned and walked out.

Behind me, Caleb's crying started. I didn't look back.

Not until I reached the corner, when Damian's hoarse, violent roar erupted behind me.

"Caleb!"

I whipped around.