Chapter 21

My arms are positively full of groceries. I’m doing my best not to walk into any walls or drop anything as I go. But I’m trying to do this in one trip.

I look around my pile so I can see where I am in relation to the front door, but that’s the one mistake I shouldn’t have made because several things fall, rolling around and thump being heard through the echoes of the hall.

“Shit!” I murmur, crouching down to retrieve my stuff.

“Seems like you could use some help?” A male voice asks, startling me so much that I whip around and at the same time, lose my balance from crouching down.

Thankfully, the wall stops me from the catastrophic embarrassment of falling to the ground in front of Derek, but I still feel my cheeks burning from the absolute mortification.

I lay a hand over my heart and do a deep breath. “Jesus!” I say without thinking. “Scared the shit out of me!”

Derek smirks and shrugs, leaning down to pick up my rouge onion and pepper. “Didn’t mean to. Just saying hi.”

“How did you come out of nowhere like that?” I question as I wait for my racing heart to return to normal.

“I didn’t,” he replies. “I was actually just returning home when I saw you. Did you rob a grocery store?”

I laugh. “I did, but I’m clearly not very good at being a sneaky thief!”

Derek stands back up and holds out my produce to me. “I guess those mandatory theft meetings have taught you nothing.”

I’m so surprised by his easy ability to joke. I know he puts on a more professional front in terms of what his colleagues and subordinates see—but that doesn’t stop the general curiosity.

“Actually,” I say without taking my groceries back. “Hold that; let me unlock the door first.”

I do as I say, letting the key open me up to the apartment, where I quickly stride inside to lay the remaining things that hadn’t fallen to the ground.

I turn back to go to Derek, but he’s followed me into the apartment without a preamble. I stop in my tracks, mostly because I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing now. I have to stop so suddenly that I almost trip over the damn carpet!

Why am I so clumsy today?

Well, I already know that answer.

“You’ve barely decorated,” is the first thing Derek decides to say as he surveys the apartment. His eyes move from the table to the kitchen and then to the living room.

Nervously, I let myself laugh. “Ha-ha, yeah. I’ve uh…I’ve been pretty busy since I got here. Divorce, work, moving, other things.”

He nods, still taking in the scene, turning around as he looks from one corner to the next.

“Funny,” he muses. “When I pictured how you’d make use of the space, I imagined it’d be bright colors and smiling faces of you and friends.”

My eyebrows raise in confusion. “You…imagined my place decorated?”

That makes Derek realize what he’s just implied, and he gives an uncomfortable laugh. “Ah, I should have phrased that differently…”

But he doesn’t go on. We stand there for a few long seconds, sort of just looking at one another.

“So, where are the girls?” I ask to keep the conversation from getting more awkward.

“Hm? Oh, oh, Bea and Tris.” He seems really out of it right now. “They have a playdate tonight with some of their friends. Just got back from dropping them off.”

I nod and move across the room towards the kitchen to put things away. “That’s nice! When’s the last time you had a night off?”

He seems to relax at this, leaning against the kitchen table for some support. “A while,” he says with exhaustion in his eyes. “I love those two, but it’s nice to have a break at times.”

I turn back at my boss. “You know you can always ask me to watch them if you’re busy?”

He raises his eyebrows. “What? Esme, I couldn’t possibly ask you to do such a thing. You’re also incredibly busy!”

“Yeah, but I understand that adults need time to themselves, and that you work harder than anyone I know. If there was a reason for you to need a night off or you have an emergency, it’s good to know someone’s there, right?”

Derek seems to think on this, tapping at his chin as he does. He rubs at his five-o’clock shadow was well, which I can’t help but break into a smile watching. He’s just so kind and good.

“I don’t want you to think it’s an obligation,” he finally sighs.

“Not an obligation. It’s a neighbor helping out.”

He nods, and I turn around just to finish putting things away.

I hear him walking toward the door, however, and I turn back to stop him.

“Oh, are you leaving?” I question.

He looks back. “I figured you had plans tonight from the bags and bags of groceries.

I laugh, shaking my blonde hair again. “The only plan for tonight was to cook a good meal and relax.”

“You know how to relax?” He playfully asks. “I never would have suspected such a thing from you!”

“Hey!” I laugh, throwing the closest food at Derek’s body. A grapefruit is flying through the air, but Derek doesn’t hesitate to grab it and keep it from falling to the ground.

“You’re throwing fruit at me now? Am I that terrible of a boss?”

“You think I don’t know how to let loose at times?” I challenge him with a laugh. “All you ever see from me is the work side.”

“There’s more than one side of Esme?”

“I know when to flip the switch,” I counter. “Usually, I like to unwind with a glass of wine, a warm bath, a book, or just binge-watch a crappy show.”

“So, what was tonight to be?”

I look around me at the odds and ends. “Shrimp risotto and a movie.”

His eyes widen. “That sounds amazing,” he comments.

I gesture to the couch. “Then stay and have dinner with me!”

He immediately takes a step back at those words. “I don’t want to intrude on your night off,” he states.

“You’re not, though. I invited you, Derek.”

He seems to think about this, pondering if having dinner with me is going to be something scandalous.

No, Esme, it’s not anything. It’s two people who are neighbors eating food.

“Alright. But let me at least go home and grab something.”

“By all means,” I gesture, letting him leave the apartment.

Derek’s back in less than five minutes, and he’s brought along something.

“What is that?”

“Nothing bad, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

I laugh and turn back to the stove. “You’re ridiculous.”

Then I gesture my head toward the fridge, calling out and saying, “You look like you could use a beer.”

Now it’s his turn again to let out a boisterous laugh. “Are you not joining me on that?”

I open my mouth to answer, “Oh, I might be pregnant!” but I don’t let the words out. I’d almost forgotten about this. How can I forget?

“Nah, not in the mood tonight,” I lie instead. “I don’t know, ever since I hit my late twenties, alcohol doesn’t make me feel like in the past.”

He chuckles as he takes a beer bottle out and shuts the door behind him. I point out the opener attached to the fridge, and he pops it open with no problem.

It’s the best lie I can come up with that’s the closest to the truth. Actually, I’d love to take a bottle of Pinot to bed and cry for hours on end into the wine.

But that’s not happening, obviously. If I really am pregnant, there’s no fucking way I’m going to ruin this.

After taking his first sip of beer, Derek leans his body against the counter to my left. “Guess I’m still in my prime, then,” he taunts.

I can’t help but smile at his comment, feeling the warmth spread through my entire body.

You have no idea, Derek.