Chapter 37

My mini vacation does complete wonders for me. It feels good to have time for me. I can’t even remember the last time I allowed myself to breathe in an ounce of fresh air.

But sadly, the days off don’t last forever. On Friday, I walk back into the office just to get a few things done.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Derek had asked me in a text the night before.

“It’s a half day, Derek. I have some calls to make, some things to grab from my office, the basics.”

“You can have as much time as you might need.”

“It’s just a few hours. I promise.”

His insistence is strong, but I understand he’s doing what he believes is best.

I know Ken has been fired at Max, and Derek said he’d leave my paperwork on my desk for when I come in. Otherwise, he’s kept most of the information from me.

I appreciate it, honestly. The last thing I want to think about is that bastard.

So, as I walk into my office building, I hold my breath for a few seconds. I don’t know if anyone knows what’s happened to me, especially since I’ve been gone all week.

A few people look up and smile, some waving, and Jen even says good morning to me. It feels like any other typical day happening in the office.

Definitely strange knowing something no one else does.

I get into my office and look around the mess I’d left behind on Monday. I guess I have a little more to do than just signing papers and making some phone calls. Sighing, I plop into my chair and get started.

I’m proud of myself. I wasn’t sure if I’d be triggered when I walked in earlier, but it seems like my mind is focusing on the work ahead of me.

The paperwork from Derek is relatively straightforward.

“Please sign if you consent to the company pursuing charges on your behalf for the behavior of the Max company and Ken Marcy.”

I don’t even hesitate at this point. There’s no reason to delay the inevitable. Not only that, but knowing Derek and the other higher-ups are on my side with this is more comforting than anyone’s help from childhood.

I sign on the dotted line, cringing that I’m legally still obligated to sign with Ryan’s last name once again.

“I, Esme Price, understand the terms and agreements brought forth by this lawsuit. By signing this contract, I testify that the reported events are truthful and that any attempt to bring shame to the company in lies and defamation shall result in serious consequences.”

It’s a no-brainer. Derek saw him on me. The idea that someone could or even would lie about something this awful is sick to me.

“Knock, knock.”

I look up at the door and see Derek standing there with a coffee in each hand and a simple, kind smile spread on his face.

“Hey,” I say, my voice coming out quietly. I’m somewhat surprised to see him here at my door.

“Brought you coffee. Figured it was the least I could do for you right now.”

That makes me smile now. His kindness and compassion make my stomach churn hard, leaving me momentarily breathless.

I clear my throat, trying to appear levelheaded. As if Derek’s never seen me lose my shit. I inwardly roll my eyes at myself.

“Yeah, come in,” I finally respond, gesturing to my boss to join me.

“Wasn’t sure if you had coffee or something, so I grabbed some.”

I set down the pen and take the cup from him once he holds it out. Our fingers brush ever so slightly as I get the caffeine.

Isn’t there a limit to how much caffeine I can drink while pregnant? Maybe I should just take a few polite sips until I know. Otherwise, who knows what I might possibly do wrong.

Derek sits in the seat across from me, leaning back and looking around the office as if to stall for time.

When I started here, I didn’t have any ideas for decorating the room. On my desk, there was a picture of Ryan and me, and my school degrees were hung up to remind everyone I wasn’t just a professional; I was qualified for the job.

But since then, slowly, new things have been added. I have a hung picture of Me, Lily, and Annie, which used to be followed by all three couples together. I took that picture down quickly when the divorce shit started.

I have included a beautiful close-up capture of Sammy the cat lying out in the sun, too. It’s still relatively empty in here, but the few personal touches have helped it feel a lot more special in recent months.

“Thank you,” I end up saying, realizing I’m still holding the coffee cup he handed me.

“Just wanted to come and see how you were holding up,” Derek states, nodding his head to my thanks.

“I’m okay,” I say truthfully. “I thought being here would cause some trigger, but I’m actually doing alright.”

My boss takes a sip of his coffee. He seems like there’s something else on his mind right now. I can’t figure it out because, for the most part, his face is stoic and difficult to pinpoint.

“I just wanted to see for myself that you were here and alright,” he admits.

“You didn’t have to do that,” I reply sheepishly.

Derek swipes his arm across him as if to brush it off. “You’re part of my division. Gotta ensure you’re not going through any more crises this week!”

I can’t help but snort quietly at his attempt at humor. It feels so good to talk to Derek without the worry of trauma and or anything wrong looming in the air. It feels like it’s been so long since we just had a conversation, though it’s just been a few days.

“Well, thank you, Derek,” I tell him sincerely. “That’s kind of you.”

I pick up the contract on the desk and hand it to him, glad to be finished with it. “You can take this,” I say. “I’m all done.”

“Great,” he states, taking the packet. “We’ll get this taken care of immediately.”

“Do you think there’s gonna be any type of trial or deal made?”

“Honestly? With Ken already being fired, Max will most likely be looking to compensate you and the company not only as an apology but as a way to shove all of this under the rug. Having the contract with your signature and name further proves that we’re serious about taking these actions.”

It makes sense. I have no clue how any of this is going to end up playing out, so it’s all just up to what Max plans.

I open my mouth to say something else when Derek’s cell starts ringing. He blushes, looking at his pocket where the device sits. “Damn.”

I wave him off. “Go, get back to your office and take the call. I’ll be here, and if you don’t come back, I’ll check in with you before I leave.”

“Are you the boss here, or am I?” He grins, childlike in his taunting.

“Get out of here!” I giggle back, throwing a pen at him.

“You and throwing things, my goodness.”

Derek gets himself up and answers the phone, nodding at me as he leaves.

“This is Mr. Anderson.”

He exits the office, and I smile, standing up to move some stuff into my trash can.

When I bend over, however, I feel myself feel woozy, and I almost don’t grab my desk in time to stop from face-planting into the rug.

“What the fuck?” I breathe out.

I stay in my position, grasping my desk as I take in deep breaths.

That’s not…that doesn’t make any sense. Where did that rapid dizziness appear from?

I force myself to fall back into the chair, letting my head spin around. I have to close my eyes to prevent myself from getting sick or falling off.

I’ve never had this type of thing happen before. Is it because of the coffee? Is it because I’ve been taking it easy all week?

Or what if it’s the baby?

Suddenly worried, I take this time to go to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I skipped the makeup this morning.

No one else is in the multi-person bathroom, so I plant my hands on either side of the porcelain sink.

I stare at myself in the mirror, seeing the color drained from my face. My usual pale skin has turned entirely white as if I haven’t seen the sun in years.

I breathe in and out repeatedly, trying to get my head back on straight. My stomach churns again, and I realize that the stomach pain from Derek wasn’t even from him. It was me.

I run into one of the bathroom stalls and sit on the toilet, and that’s when I notice it.

Blood droplets on my panties. I’m spotting? What the fuck is going on?

Am I losing my baby?

I do my business, quickly dialing my doctor as I go out to wash my hands. My body continues to breathe loudly, almost labored.

The phone to the office continues ringing, and I start making my way back to my office to have the conversation in private, but as I go, I feel my legs throbbing below me. Sure enough, even in my work pants, I can see that my legs are not only on fire, but they’re also beginning to swell.

This is a joke. This has to be. This is so much all at once, I must be dying! Or the baby is, and Jesus Christ that is not okay by me!

Dr. Leona’s office finally picks up the phone, and I hurriedly explain what’s going on, demanding to talk to Leona immediately for fear of the baby’s life.

“Esme?” I finally get her voice after I’ve collapsed in my office chair. I’ve pulled up my pant leg just a bit to fix the heat issue, but everything in my body is fighting with me through this pain.

“Dr. Leona!” I half-shout. “Something’s happening, and I think I’m losing my baby! I don’t know if they’re all related, but I got really dizzy and nearly passed out, then I found blood on my underwear that looks like spotting, and now my legs are swollen, and I can barely stand! What’s going on with me?”

My OB chuckles quietly on the other end.

“What’s so funny?” I demand, but I’m already on the verge of tears.

“Esme! It’s okay! Take some deep breaths and I’ll explain, okay? You’re not losing your baby.”

“Thank God.”

“A little bit of spotting and swelling in your legs is perfectly normal. A lot of my patients have experienced the same symptoms, and it always means they’re working a bit too hard.”

“I haven’t worked in several days, though,” I retort.

“Could still mean you’re overwhelmed and needing to rest a little bit more. You’re growing another person inside of you. The last thing you should be doing is tiring yourself out to the point the baby has its own issues.”

“So…it’s fine?” I’m cautious.

“If it were more than spotting, I’d have you come in immediately. But you’re just another pregnant woman. Everything is going to be fine; just trust me on this, okay?”

I sigh heavily, still not entirely convinced.

“Oh, and please try to put up your legs to keep the circulation moving. It might be a normal occurrence, but this should also help your swelling feel a lot better, too.”

I nod, though I know she can’t see me. Maybe I should tell Ryan I’m pregnant. Then I’m not the only one fearful of the tiny life inside of me.

“Okay,” I reply dryly.

“If you need anything else, I’m always here to answer your questions. You’ve got this, okay?”

I nod again. “Okay. Thank you.”

As she and I hang up the phone, I just look down at my stomach, once again profoundly lost as to how I’m pregnant, and how no one knows but me, my best friends, and my OB.