Chapter 63

“Why the hell are you calling me?” I snarl. “I’m going to call the cops, because this is against the fucking restraining order.”

“I know, but please don’t, though!” She sounds desperate and out of breath. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard my cousin beg before. Kind of odd.

“What do you want?”

“I’m not with Ryan anymore,” she breathes.

“Your lies are tired, Melinda. I don’t have any patience for this right now.”

“No, I’m serious, listen to me.”

I sit down on the bed, tucking hair behind my ear. I don’t want to listen to her. After everything she’s done to me?

“Ryan dumped me. He came home and was screaming some sort of nonsense. I tried to understand, but nothing was making sense. He kicked me out and dumped me. Just kept going on about getting everything he’s ever wanted.”

I narrow my eyes though I know she can’t see my expression. Was this before or after Ryan showed up at my door this week?

And does this have anything to do with the baby he wants custody over?

“Esme, please say something, this is killing me.”

Sighing, I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Look, it sucks you’ve found this out the hard way, but Ryan’s the worst. I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

“I want to meet,” she affirms.

“Are you serious?” I almost snort. “Just because Ryan kicked you out?”

“There’s more. But I really want to do this in person.”

This time, I do snort. “Why the hell would I give you any consideration in meeting up? Melinda, you stole my husband and got pregnant with his kid! I had to put a fucking restraining on you two for a reason.”

Melinda lets out a nerve rattling sigh—something I haven’t heard her do in years.

“I can’t…do this. On the phone. Meet with me, and then you can call the police. I don’t care. But this is bigger than what’s happened with Ryan.”

I look at the bathroom where I was about to take a shower. My day of relaxing is gone. But maybe this is as important as Melinda seems to be making it.

“Give me two hours. Find somewhere to meet, and we’ll talk then.”

She sighs again. “Thank you.”

Rolling my eyes, I add, “Don’t thank me yet. This could still go poorly.”

I hang up, wishing I could go next door to talk to Derek about everything. I feel like I need to get his advice—or bring him as backup.

But it’s the middle of the day. He won’t be home, and there’s no way he’d want to speak face to face with me. So, instead, I head for the bathroom to take a shower.

Melinda sends me the address to a diner I’ve passed before. I still feel hesitant to see her. What if this is a trap, a way for Ryan to hurt me and the baby? Does Melinda even know I’m pregnant?

After I’m ready, I grab my pepper spray from my room. Just in case someone decides they want to lie to me; I’d rather have all the protection I can get.

When I arrive to the diner, Melinda’s sitting alone. And when I take a quick scan around the place, I don’t see anyone I recognize. Same with the parking lot.

If Ryan’s here, he’s hidden.

Melinda is holding a cup of coffee, seemingly lost in her thoughts as she stares at the table. She looks terrible, which makes me feel just a bit better. Her normally tanned skin is very pale, and her eyes have clear bags under them.

Wait, is she crying?

I walk over to the table my cousin’s at, the pepper spray in my hand ready to go.

Melinda looks up, her tears beginning to fall harder now. “You came.”

I scrutinize the woman. Melinda’s short frame seems smaller than I remember it. She pushes her short hair from her face and wipes at the tears.

“You have ten minutes before I call the police, pepper spray you, or I leave.”

Melinda nods, gesturing for me to take a seat across from her. “Please sit. This will make sense in a minute.”

I do as she says, slowly sitting down.

She doesn’t beat around the bush, cutting to the chase.

“I lost the baby.”

My jaw drops.

Well, that wasn’t at all what I thought was going to happen.

“What do you mean?” I’m suddenly filled with a sense of dread, because I know exactly what she’s talking about.

“I had a miscarriage earlier this week.”

I fall back against the seat, stunned. Oh, God. That’s the last thing I wanted.

“That’s…” I shake my head, no idea what the right things to say would be.

“Painful,” she fills in the blank. “It was a really, really painful loss. Not just because I wanted this baby so much. But the bleeding…the pain I went through as I lost my baby…”

Even I’m not this heartless. How could I ever want that for anyone, even for such selfish people like Melinda and Ryan?

“Ryan left me because I lost the baby. I went to the hospital. When he got there and I told him what had happened…” she bites her lip, tears falling down her face. She crosses her arms over her body.

I shake my head again. “I promise you I never wanted anything like this.”

“Of course you didn’t,” she sniffs and wipes at her cheeks. “You’re not heartless.”

“I’m still human.”

“A human who was hurt by people she was supposed to trust. This was all too much stress for me. And Ryan was so angry. He screamed at me in the middle of the emergency room floor while I was still bleeding.”

“Piece of shit.” It slips out, but Melinda actually gives a small smile.

“I should have never done this with him. The cheating, the getting pregnant, the losing my cousin and my own self-respect?”

“You thought you were in love,” I state plainly.

“What a silly thought, huh? Thinking that a man would want to stay with me even when I lose my baby.”

In retrospect, I should feel bad for them. Why would I spew further hate after someone has lost a child? It’s devastating, and I’ve feared the same in the past. But then again, the two of them committed some of the most heinous forms of adultery.

“I wanted to tell you, but I also wanted to apologize,” Melinda continues on.

I stare straight on, not responding.

“I shouldn’t have interfered in your marriage. I know what I’ve done doesn’t deserve true forgiveness, at least right now. I did horrible, terrible things to you. I let Ryan get in my head and believed he’d love me and our baby.”

She grabs her cup of coffee, wrapping her hands around it and pulling it closer. But I still feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“It might not seem like it, Esme, but I am truly sorry. You might not think so, but I regret it. I know it’s going to take a long time to earn back your forgiveness, but I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself, either.”

I don’t know what to say, but I know I’m not ready to forgive either of them. I don’t like that this is the universes cruel way of karma, but there’s nothing I can do.

“I’m not ready to accept your apology,” I deadpan. “That’s not going to come in one conversation.”

“No, of course not.” Melinda is shaking her head, her face continuing to look terrible. “But I needed you to know. Regardless of what you think, I’m not expecting anything to change yet. But you needed to hear it, and I wanted you to know about Ryan.”

Some silverware clinks together nearby, and the sound of the old radio playing hums in the background as the world around us keeps moving. This is all unexpected—but not that surprising.

“I’m pregnant.” I wasn’t planning on admitting that, but I guess we’re in a place right now that I feel comfortable enough to say this much.

Melinda’s smile is still sad, but I know she’s at least happy for me. “That’s good.”

“Ryan wants to keep it. And get me back.”

“Yeah right,” Melinda snorts. “Like that’ll ever happen.”

“He’s already doing his best.”

Melinda looks around the diner, like maybe we’re being watched by a hidden person. Then, back at me, she’s concerned. “I don’t know if it’s obvious to everyone else, but I wouldn’t drop the restraining order.”

“I haven’t. But why do you say that?”

“Ryan’s off. Has been a few weeks. Every day he’s been angrier. I was worrying that he might take his anger out on me and the baby before. But being out of there is for the best.”

“Did he hit you?” I can’t help but feel the need to ask.

“No. He didn’t get that far. But something is off. He’s seriously in decline now. Distant, angry, even looking like he might be daydreaming terrible plots.”

I don’t hesitate to say, “He’s already begun all of this.”

Her worried face somewhat scrunches. “Then stay away from him at any cost. I’ve accepted the restraining order, but I don’t expect you to take me out. I’ll leave you alone, but I needed you to know the truth.”

“I’m glad you did,” I admit.

Melinda takes a drink. The diner around me has faded into the background. It’s not like Melinda knows everything Ryan’s done. However, now I’m wondering if what he’s done is only the beginning to it all.